17yr old Wanting to leave home - Runaway

[cyjeff]

Let's put this another way...

If a ten year old kid walked up to you and insisted that they were as mature as you are, would you accept that as fact?

 

[>Charlotte<]

You are older and set in your ways and beliefs. I don't expect to change your opinion that I am an "immature kid." That would take a lot of work and conversation, if its even possible. I know so many like you. All.. minds closed. I don't mean to be mean and certainly not judgemental. I'm not trying to be purposefully disrespectful, even though I see a bit a disrespect in my post. My only purpose in posting here is so that you will know my opinion. My position.. Maybe you will consider it.

Well, first off, you've immediately interpreted my previous comments as evidence that my mind is "closed" when it's no such thing. Just the opposite, in fact. You should open your mind to the concept that just because something isn't a compliment, doesn't mean it's an insult. I apologize if you were offended.

As I said, and as cyjeff also stated, my declaration of your immaturity wasn't meant to insult or belittle you. It's simply a statement of fact. I do recognize that you seem very mature for your age, but that's about as good as it gets for you--for now. You have a lot of physical, emotional, and intellectual growing to do and no amount of whatever "wisdom" you've gained in your 6000 days are going to remove that "for your age" qualifier. The kind of maturity we're talking about requires experiences, concerns, and responsibilities you haven't even begun to have yet. In anticipation of the observation that even adults experience growth--yes. But yours is linear, while ours is lateral.

You are not yet fully mature. You are, therefore, immature. But whatever you're doing, please keep it up. Any 15 year old that can expresses himself as well as you is going to be one hell of a sight to see in ten years or so. Some of the "adults" I've seen on this forum have made me seriously worried about our future.

 

[ShadowsAdvocate]

I want to step in here...

No matter how you cut it, you are still a child. Immature by your very existance.

This is not an insult or a put down. This is simply fact.

You can no more understand what maturity is than what it is like to be a father. Yes, you can observe actions that fathers do... and can promise yourself that is what you will be like.

However, until you have children of your own, you will really not understand what it means to be a father... emotionally, financially and, even, behaviorally.

Nothing bothers parents more than having someone that has only had experience with their pet gerbil (and it died from neglect) telling them how easy it is to be a parent... or, worse, how badly they are doing in that role.

You simply don't know what you don't know. Yes, in relation to your experience, you may think yourself more mature than you were... but that doesn't necessarily make you mature.

Ah, I see. No.. you're right. I can't know what its like to be a father. I did not realize that that was the topic. I meant only mature in general and relatively compared to some others. I'm no parent.. I don't even have a pet. Actually, I don't plan to have kids or even get married for that matter. No, I'm not one of those guys that wants to be wild with a bunch of different girls, that is not what I mean. I mean that I don't even date. I have never had a girlfriend and I never plan to get that close to someone. I decided a long time ago that I don't want to get close enough to someone that there would be a chance that I might hurt them, and I certainly don't think I am or ever will be fit to be a father. I certainly haven't done anything to deserve a family.

I don't know if any of what I said is mature or not. If not, then maybe I still am very immature in some matters. But that is the way I feel, and it is the way I have always lived my life.

S

 

[ShadowsAdvocate]

Finale

Ugh, I really messed up with that last post. I think that goes to show me just how immature I am. I could have deleted it, but that would be like it never happened. And by doing that I would have learned nothing from it. I don't know if you guys care about what I'm about to say, but I think you do, because you have kids and you seem to care about kids. So here goes it. I actually don't date. But I don't think that it is because I am some kind of saint that is just looking out for others. That's what I've been telling myself, because it sounds alot better. In truth, though, its the same reason that I've done or not done so many other things in my life. I'm afraid of disappointment. I hate to disappoint others by my actions. The reason I won't date is partly because I know that dating this young will never be real love, and also because I'm afraid that I will not be what my hypothetical girlfriend would want. I'm fairly comfortable around friends, so I'm not unsocial. But around girls I am nervous, and I tend to be boring because I don't know what to do. I still don't plan to date.. but now I know why.

I still am not an adult. I haven't been here very long, but I think I met the people that I needed to meet and that I learned what I needed to learn, to get that much closer to being one. For what its worth, I give my thanks to everyone (but particularly cyjeff and Clt) for the compliments, criticism, and advice. You have been very helpful. I'm also sorry if I offended anyone, but I can imagine that you took into consideration that I am only 15, and took no offense. I certainly didn't mean any. But now I feel that anything else I might have to say on this forum would be meaningless. I don't have a reason to stay, so this is probably my last post. Wish me luck with life, and I hope I'll turn out to be something like you guys.

Sean

 

[mkharris09]

hey. i am 17 as well. i turn 18 in 4 months and 3 weeks. i also want to runaway. ive been on da net all day gettin as much info as i can. i ran away once before and know what the mistakes i made. but 4 months is a long time to lay low. but the closer you are to 18 the less the cops really get involved. but my family sounds alot like yours. my step dad beats my mom. & he verbally abuses me. he's never laid hands on me. they keep me inside all the time and never let me go out. & now they are trying to keep me from college because i was in town yesterday w/o permission. so i know where you are coming from. its rediculous! but im in va. and idk how the rules are here, but i think i have an overall idea of what its like.

however, ive contacted the police before & social services and they know ive been wanting to get out. i read that if you have attempted to try to leave before, the cops also dont care as much & cant do anything within the first 48 hours.

 

[stealth2]

hey. i am 17 as well. i turn 18 in 4 months and 3 weeks. i also want to runaway. ive been on da net all day gettin as much info as i can. i ran away once before and know what the mistakes i made. but 4 months is a long time to lay low. but the closer you are to 18 the less the cops really get involved. but my family sounds alot like yours. my step dad beats my mom. & he verbally abuses me. he's never laid hands on me. they keep me inside all the time and never let me go out. & now they are trying to keep me from college because i was in town yesterday w/o permission. so i know where you are coming from. its rediculous! but im in va. and idk how the rules are here, but i think i have an overall idea of what its like.

however, ive contacted the police before & social services and they know ive been wanting to get out. i read that if you have attempted to try to leave before, the cops also dont care as much & cant do anything within the first 48 hours.

Please read ShadowsAdvocate's posts and learn what (relative) maturity is. You don't have it.

 

[stealth2]

Ugh, I really messed up with that last post. I think that goes to show me just how immature I am. I could have deleted it, but that would be like it never happened. And by doing that I would have learned nothing from it. I don't know if you guys care about what I'm about to say, but I think you do, because you have kids and you seem to care about kids. So here goes it. I actually don't date. But I don't think that it is because I am some kind of saint that is just looking out for others. That's what I've been telling myself, because it sounds alot better. In truth, though, its the same reason that I've done or not done so many other things in my life. I'm afraid of disappointment. I hate to disappoint others by my actions. The reason I won't date is partly because I know that dating this young will never be real love, and also because I'm afraid that I will not be what my hypothetical girlfriend would want. I'm fairly comfortable around friends, so I'm not unsocial. But around girls I am nervous, and I tend to be boring because I don't know what to do. I still don't plan to date.. but now I know why.

I still am not an adult. I haven't been here very long, but I think I met the people that I needed to meet and that I learned what I needed to learn, to get that much closer to being one. For what its worth, I give my thanks to everyone (but particularly cyjeff and Clt) for the compliments, criticism, and advice. You have been very helpful. I'm also sorry if I offended anyone, but I can imagine that you took into consideration that I am only 15, and took no offense. I certainly didn't mean any. But now I feel that anything else I might have to say on this forum would be meaningless. I don't have a reason to stay, so this is probably my last post. Wish me luck with life, and I hope I'll turn out to be something like you guys.

Sean

I know this is O/T - too bad. I'm so impressed with this kid, that I want to give him some input.

Sean... The way you express yourself is commendable. You remind me a lot of my own two, who are also quite mature - for their ages (17 & 14). And, as such, I'd like to just share a thought or two with you, specifically about your decision not to date - and why.

For starters, at 15, there's no hurry. My son has been dating for about 2 years now - since he was your age. No, he hasn't found "true love". And yes, he's been hurt and some of the girls he's dated have been hurt as well. That part of it isn't fun. But... it's all been a valuable experience for him. He's had the chance to start figuring out what it is that he'd like in a partner... and what he wouldn't. Of the girls he's dated, there has only been one that I wasn't fond of, although I never expressed that to him - he ended up breaking it off with her for the exact reason I didn't like her... she was controlling. Funnily enough, they remain good friends. They're better that way.

My younger doesn't date yet. She's interested, but has yet to meet anyone that she's interested enough in. And that's okay.

That's what dating at your age is about. Finding out about yourself, and finding out about other people. You don't need to get serious or sexually involved. But it's a good life experience. It helps you learn about people and relationships, what works for you and what doesn't.

I didn't date a lot in HS. So when I met my (now ex) husband, I fell and hard. Ignored a lot of red flags - partially because I didn't understand them for what they were for lack of experience.

Don't cut off the idea of dating. Remain open to it. Who knows what the future brings you.

Hand in there, good luck, and keep on growing in all ways. You're going places.

 

[sammay3233]

I am having the exact same problem. I have a step parent and a half sister. He treats her a lot better than he does me. Im 17 as well and Im finally old enough to do something about it, but you'll have to become emancipated. That is the only way to truely get out of your house. You can become emancipated at age 17. You have to go to the courthouse and get a petition.

 

[Antigone*]

I am having the exact same problem. I have a step parent and a half sister. He treats her a lot better than he does me. Im 17 as well and Im finally old enough to do something about it, but you'll have to become emancipated. That is the only way to truely get out of your house. You can become emancipated at age 17. You have to go to the courthouse and get a petition.

Are you kidding me This thread is a year old. So much for your ability to be timely

You are so timely in your response that the OP is now 18...duh!!!