401k Question

[sylviat]

What is the name of your state? DC

When I first got married in 1991 my job offered a 401k plan 6 months later. For reasons I don't care to mention, I asked my husband if he would mind signing off as the beneficiary so that my oldest son could be the beneficiary if I died. He said of course since he knew that I would be saving the money from out of my own "allowance" so to speak.

We are now divorcing and he wants half. He spent his 401k before we got deep into the divorce and his was no match for mine anyway. Is he going to get half? Does signing the beneficiary form means he signed his rights away?

 

[SingleMom67]

Is he going to get half? Does signing the beneficiary form means he signed his rights away?

Possibly and no.

 

[cbg]

The beneficiary determines death benefits. You're not dead.

This is something you will have to take up with your attorney.

 

[nextwife]

I would be saving the money from out of my own "allowance" so to speak.

Ok, if YOUR income was your "allowance" where was HIS income going? Was that HIS "allowance"? I presume there were housing, transportation, utilities, medical expenses etc incurred by both of you and possible marital debt. Who was paying for all that? If he was paying out for a greater share of your combined living expenses, then it is logical that your 401k could be more and that he should have the right to a marital share.

 

[sylviat]

Ok, if YOUR income was your "allowance" where was HIS income going? Was that HIS "allowance"? I presume there were housing, transportation, utilities, medical expenses etc incurred by both of you and possible marital debt. Who was paying for all that? If he was paying out for a greater share of your combined living expenses, then it is logical that your 401k could be more and that he should have the right to a marital share.

No - my income was not my allowance. I had an allowance and so did he - the same amount as me. I just chose to put a good part of mine in the 401K, he chose to smoke cigarettes and drink beer with his.

 

[sylviat]

The beneficiary determines death benefits. You're not dead.

This is something you will have to take up with your attorney.

EXACTLY, I'm not dead, so when I do die, my son will/should benefit.

Also, I have taken it up with my attorney but I thought I'd ask because sometimes people here on this forum have had similar experiences and can voice their experiences.

 

[cbg]

However, the fact remains that legally, who you have listed as the beneficiary is ONLY valid for death benefits. The fact that the law requires your husband to sign a waiver before you can make anyone else the beneficiary should tell you how seriously the government takes this.

 

[Ithildriel]

No legal advice, no personal experience

But I am sure that many will be interested to learn how this all shakes out. I hope you keep us posted as to what the court decides in regards to this issue.

 

[Bali Hai]

But I am sure that many will be interested to learn how this all shakes out. I hope you keep us posted as to what the court decides in regards to this issue.

Yeah really. Sounds like he's going to have some more cigarette and beer money soon.

 

[Ithildriel]

Yeah really. Sounds like he's going to have some more cigarette and beer money soon.

I have no legal expertise, but my guess would be if they let her keep the 401 k she is going to have to give him equivelant compensations somewhere else with other assets. I just don't see her getting to keep this free and clear just because of the beneficiary thing. But I could be wrong!

 

[Ohiogal]

I have no legal expertise, but my guess would be if they let her keep the 401 k she is going to have to give him equivelant compensations somewhere else with other assets. I just don't see her getting to keep this free and clear just because of the beneficiary thing. But I could be wrong!

Actually Ith you are right. Unless hubby agrees in the divorce not to take anything, this is an asset and the judge will decide it equitably.

 

[Bali Hai]

Actually Ith you are right. Unless hubby agrees in the divorce not to take anything, this is an asset and the judge will decide it equitably.

1 for him, 2 for her,
2 for him, 4 for her,
4 for him, 8 for her**************.

 

[sylviat]

Actually Ith you are right. Unless hubby agrees in the divorce not to take anything, this is an asset and the judge will decide it equitably.

So what happens to the 401k of his that he already spent AND the insurance policy money he got and kept to himself AND his lump sum social security disability check he received (that he has shared with his new "fiance" - new because he's had a couple - depending on how much money they make) since all of this divorce filing? Is that just washed away? Of course there's proof that he had it, but what? While I'm taking care of our child with the $100+ that ssi gives me, he will be able to buy cigarettes and beer with that money that I put away?

If it's the law, I can deal with it, even if it's an unfair law. And yes Mr. Bali - I know you are going to pound on this one! However, with all of our history (his drug abuse, AIDS, stealing out of the home, mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, etc.) I don't see it.

 

[Ohiogal]

So what happens to the 401k of his that he already spent AND the insurance policy money he got and kept to himself AND his lump sum social security disability check he received (that he has shared with his new "fiance" - new because he's had a couple - depending on how much money they make) since all of this divorce filing? Is that just washed away? Of course there's proof that he had it, but what? While I'm taking care of our child with the $100+ that ssi gives me, he will be able to buy cigarettes and beer with that money that I put away?

If it's the law, I can deal with it, even if it's an unfair law. And yes Mr. Bali - I know you are going to pound on this one! However, with all of our history (his drug abuse, AIDS, stealing out of the home, mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, etc.) I don't see it.

If it was spend during the marriage you were seen as getting the benefit of it. As well as the insurance policy money and his lump SS. Its not an unfair law. You chose the man> You stayed with him. When did you file for the divorce? You could argue that only that which accrued up until filing should be considered as marital if any of it is marital. Your history -- doesn't matter that much when it comes to property division because YOU CHOSE HIM. You stayed with him. You made that decision. He can't steal from the home because as your spouse, the home is his. You can't rob yourself.

 

[fireboat1]

"If it's the law, I can deal with it," Sorry to say,IT IS THE LAW.Search equitable distribution,or marital assets.You can use any terminology you wish,any monies you earn is considered income,you may choose to call it an allowance but for marital purposes they will call it income.If all he receives for a source of living is disability benefits,that is not considered income,but a disability .Those benefits are not marital,however they are considered for reasons suh as child support or alimony.Though you cant own any part of his disability, a judge can order him to pay Cs and or alimony from his SSDI.But any retirement accounts,IRA's 401's that were accrued During the marriage are marital,if he has any left.