A Friend

[hugs-n-kisses]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

Ok, this is for a good friend of mine, unrelated to my other post...... Curtis and his girlfriend split up. They weren't married, but have been living together for 5+years... He worked on the road and she was cheating on him constantly... The have 2 kids- Madison just turned 5, and Jordan 2 will be 2 in a few weeks.. There is nothing drawn up saying who has custody, and they have a verbal agreement for CS, which Curtis keeps paying up to date, never late on payments. Becky doesnt let him see the kids much more than two days per month, and doesnt allow overnights. Since there is no agreement in place, does Curtis have to take them home, or can he keep them and have it drawn up that he has custody?

I also have to tell you that she has been going to rehab for over a year now, which was also paid for by Curtis while they were together. She has been addicted to pain medications for years now, and it isnt her first trip to rehab.. I remember when she was trying to get into rehab and was trying to get her hands on any, and i do mean ANY, drug she could get her hands on.. She said that to go to rehab she had to be "very dirty." Curtis hasnt done drugs since he was in high school. He stays clean.

He recently hired an attorney.. one of the best in our area, but his appt isnt for a few weeks to come.. I just wondered what all advice I can give him until he can get in to see her. Thank-you for all your help...

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

Ok, this is for a good friend of mine, unrelated to my other post...... Curtis and his girlfriend split up. They weren't married, but have been living together for 5+years... He worked on the road and she was cheating on him constantly... The have 2 kids- Madison just turned 5, and Jordan 2 will be 2 in a few weeks.. There is nothing drawn up saying who has custody, and they have a verbal agreement for CS, which Curtis keeps paying up to date, never late on payments. Becky doesnt let him see the kids much more than two days per month, and doesnt allow overnights. Since there is no agreement in place, does Curtis have to take them home, or can he keep them and have it drawn up that he has custody?

Tell Curtis he is an idiot.
[quote[
I also have to tell you that she has been going to rehab for over a year now, which was also paid for by Curtis while they were together. She has been addicted to pain medications for years now, and it isnt her first trip to rehab.. I remember when she was trying to get into rehab and was trying to get her hands on any, and i do mean ANY, drug she could get her hands on.. She said that to go to rehab she had to be "very dirty." Curtis hasnt done drugs since he was in high school. He stays clean.
[/quote]
Irrelevant.

He recently hired an attorney.. one of the best in our area, but his appt isnt for a few weeks to come.. I just wondered what all advice I can give him until he can get in to see her. Thank-you for all your help...

Tell curtis to stop doing anything for these children and to put all monies he would have paid into an account until he speaks with the attorney.

Hell, how does he know these are his children?

 

[hugs-n-kisses]

We have told him before that it was stupid of him to stay with her, but you know that we all do dumb things when in love....

He is still paying her, and keeping all the copies of the checks in case she formally takes him for CS.... I dont know how everything happened in their relationship, so I cant say for sure that the oldest is his.. the youngest we all know is his... She wasnt cheating on him at that time. Whether she was when she got pregnant with the oldest, I dont know. I wasnt around at that time. Maddy knows him as daddy and Curtis has never said anything that would lead us to think otherwise.

 

[NotSoNew]

it doesnt matter if he is paying her CS and keeping records if there is no court order for CS the court doesnt care, that money is a gift. he can just stop paying it.

did he file and avidavit of paternity for the children? (not just signed the birth certificate) if so then yes he can keep the children while he files for custody. The mom will freak and call the police though and a judge will look down on him not letting her see the children. If he has proof of the rehab then this only helps his case for custody.

 

[LdiJ]

it doesnt matter if he is paying her CS and keeping records if there is no court order for CS the court doesnt care, that money is a gift. he can just stop paying it.

did he file and avidavit of paternity for the children? (not just signed the birth certificate) if so then yes he can keep the children while he files for custody. The mom will freak and call the police though and a judge will look down on him not letting her see the children. If he has proof of the rehab then this only helps his case for custody.

I just don't think that is good advice...I am sorry. Its turns him into the "bad guy" rather than the "good guy" and can seriously backfire. I just think its too risky.

I think that he should consult with the attorney before he takes any kind of action or changes the status quo.

 

[hugs-n-kisses]

So he should just stop giving her money until she petitions for CS? How does he file an affidavit for paternity?
I'm not sure how he paid for the rehab.. He had bought a new car for her to drive (once again, not so bright of him...she has no DL and has been caught driving several times... and has wrecked 4 cars that i can remember just this year) and she put 10,000 miles on it the first month they had it. She was driving to rehab 6 days per week--100 miles one way. The rest of the mileage was put on it because she would get sick of watching the kids and put them in the car and drive.
At one point, my fiance and I stopped at their place to see if Curtis was home for the weekend.. We sat outside for about 5 minutes deciding whether or not to knock (neither of us like Becky and didnt wanna deal with her unless Curtis was home) when she opened the door to let her 5 year old (then 4) outside to go to the car to "check on sissy." Becky saw us and walked over to the car to talk. She stood there and talked for 15 minutes and then went back inside, leaving both children in the car.... in the middle of summer**************.