adopting a niece in foster care 1 year

[fediana]

There you go, my friend.

I have one question what is the purpose of a foster home. Is it to take care of a child that was removed until reunification with parents or to have kids placed in their home and then feel they have the rights to adopt this child and not placed back home with parents or biological family. If every child that is placed in foster care should be adopted if the foster parents become attached then the child welfare should change their motto from reunification to adoption from the beginining because it contradicts their whole motto of reunification. I am not bashing foster parents because I personally think they are awesome but from reading these posts I have formed my own impression that some foster parents feel once a child is placed with them they have the right to adopt them if they choose and not return these kids home if the parents/family is appropriate or has completed a service plan. Most service plan are not completed for about a year so most kids will remain in care for that long. Then some foster parents are going to feel that this child should not return home even if the parents have demonstrated all skills and efforts. Why even have a service plan just tell these parents that your kids are removed for whatever reason and they are not going to be returned to you but rather adopted by someone that can provide more than you can. I know some parents do not deserve to have their children returned home but what about those that deserve that. Its funny in life when someone is not in anothers person shoe they can say anything. How would you feel id your child was removed from you because of a variety of reasons possible and you realized your mistake and decided to fix it and then someone told you your child is in an adoptable home and bonded so he or she should remain there. You would be highly upset and fight like crazy if you truly love your child. The child welfare system was not meant to be an adoption agency it main reason based on what they teach is reunification and if that cannot work adoption. Im not sure how adoption seem to become to first goal now. Once again, I am not bashing foster parents because if a parent and no family member are available to provide a home the child should be paced for adoption. Adoption in my book was meant for children whose parents was not able to provide for them and it is in the child best interest to be adopted. My impression of these post seemed like once a child is in foster care for even six months the child should remain there no matter who come forward to provide care. Go back and look into the child welfare agency and you will see thats not their laws at all. They need to change it so everyone could be on the same page.

 

[PQN]

(1) This is not your child.

(2) Your sister (or brother per your post on the other board) did NOT fight tooth and nail to get their baby back. Reunification plans are usually very simple and they clearly have not completed theirs in the two years they have been given.

(3) This is a not a reunification situation where foster parents are fighting to keep a child from their parents. It is a situation where the only parents this toddler has known want to maintain her stable, loving environment and not have her sent to strangers who did not step up when she needed a home (regardless of the reasons).

OG said that in Ohio, you may have a chance. I have seen numerous cases in Illinois where a relative decided to step-up as TPR was happening. I never once saw the judge remove the child from the established home and to a relative that was a srtanger to the child. One grandma in particular stands out...she told the foster mom that she hadn't wanted to be bothered with all that baby stuff and diapers but now that the baby was older, she was ready to take him. How DCFS and the judge may rule in your niece's family court will depend on the culture of that court.

(4) Very often, the type of dysfunction that leads to a child entering care is systemic through the family. Caseworkers want to be sure that they are not placing the child into a similar situation that they were just rescued from. I have met some amazing relative caregivers, some ones who were barely adequate, and I saw one situation where the child was placed with a relative and then had to be removed from that home for abuse!


This baby is not returning home to her parents. This baby - emotionally - has a set of parents (fosters). You WILL traumatize this baby if you take her from her home. Some children are resilent, others never recover from it. I think you need to use a bit of Solomon's wisdom here...if you truly cared for your niece, you need to let her stay where she is.

 

[ecmst12]

Please note that "fediana" is NOT the OP in this thread. She is a hijacker. She has her own thread in child custody where she was ALSO told that changing custody at this point would be traumatic to the child in HER situation, and she doesn't care about HER family member's child either.

 

[fediana]

Please note that "fediana" is NOT the OP in this thread. She is a hijacker. She has her own thread in child custody where she was ALSO told that changing custody at this point would be traumatic to the child in HER situation, and she doesn't care about HER family member's child either.

Well I was not hijacking a post I saw a post where this poor lady was being jumped on. People shouldnt jump to conclusion about others especially when you do not know them. I would never say you dont care about your family when I dont know who you are, where your from, and your class. This is America and everyone is entitled to have their opinion to any given situation but I guess when others dont know how to have class or be professional they are capable of saying anything possible. I guess my post probably hit a nerve for you to have a personal attack so it probably had some truth to it. I dont have to agree with your opinion about changing custody likewise you dont have to agree with my post too.

By the way my sibling is a non offending parent if you know what that means and was never given a service plan. And if the case worker want to make sure they are not placing kids in the same situation they should look into the placement. DO a homestudy, get to know who you are dealing with before making false assumption. My main thing was not to jump on anyone (unlike others) but ALL I WAS TRYING TO SAY WAS THAT WORKERS SHOULD TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN, and INVESTIGATE BEFORE MAKING JUDEMENTS. This had nothing to do with my case in particular but any case in general based on what I have seen myself as a worker. I said it years ago before my case and would feel this way even if this never happened. Workers have a tough job and and I know that personally. FOSTER PARENTS ARE GREAT BECAUSE I GOT TO KNOW ALOT OF THEM TOO. People shouldnt be so critical of others maybe thats why we have so many things going on in this country because no one takes the time to listen and even consider some else feelings or views.

 

[TheGeekess]

Well I was hijacking a post

Fixed that for you.

 

[fediana]

Fixed that for you.

much love to ya, Im a easy going person so I dont take it personal, okay fine I hijack the post, (feel better) its okay to differ on opinion really its okay.

 

[TheGeekess]

much love to ya, Im a easy going person so I dont take it personal, okay fine I hijack the post, (feel better) its okay to differ on opinion really its okay.

Alrighty then.

 

[Proserpina]

much love to ya, Im a easy going person so I dont take it personal, okay fine I hijack the post, (feel better) its okay to differ on opinion really its okay.

Please hon, just stop.

If you feel the need to get in the last word, fine - lastworditis is not uncommon here. We get it. But if for no other reason that you actually give a flying ferret fart about the original poster, let this one go.

Really.