advice

[denverb]

What is the name of your state? minnesota


Ok everyone – I am going to file a motion and I would greatly appreciate your input. The motion is for the following:

1. all medical/dental etc to be paid directly to hospital/clinic/etc – not to cp. Bills to me within 30 days of her receipt – or she pays fully. Has to take child to preferred provider or she will be responsible for full amount.

2. once she is no longer receiving daycare assistance – my portion of daycare to be paid directly to daycare provider after receiving proof that child actually attended (not sure if I can actually do this since I don’t live in the same town and wouldn’t be able to go to provider directly to pay – maybe she pays her part and then after I pay – child care can reimburse her?)

3. I want to be able to claim child as exemption every other year

4. I want her to return the old medical card that is no longer valid (insurance is through my wife’s employer and old card has her ss# on it – new card has random number – I sent her a letter asking for it back and stated *"If you fail to do so, further action may be taken”* – she’s trying to say the letter was threatening – it was 3 lines and the ‘threatening part’ was exactly what I have in quotes above) -- she has major c.c. debt and is likely to file bankruptcy – don’t want her ruining my wife’s credit when she can’t get her own credit cards anymore.

I think that is everything I want to do. I was wondering if anyone has any specific wording in their decree’s that would be helpful to me or even had any suggestions of things to include in here. I want to be as specific as possible so I don’t get screwed over. As for number 4 – should I even do this? She’s nuts and would do anything but the fact that she can just copy the ss# down makes me wonder if I should even do it. however, I don’t want her to just leave the card wherever and let god knows who to get a hold of it. but then again she could just write the number down and leave that wherever too. We are having a hearing in march anyways so I thought I would just add it in there since she made a copy of the letter and sent it into the cs officer with her stuff to submit for daycare expenses and claimed she was threatened (cs officer knows she’s nuts plus the letter was in no way threatening – I specifically worded the way I did so I could take action if I wanted to but didn’t say I was for sure going to) I wouldn’t waste the courts time with it normally but since we’re going for everything else thought I’d add it. any thoughts? Thanks!

 

[TNparent]

I'm only going to respond to #4 because I'm not a lawyer and don't want to give advice like I am but saying "further action will be taken" without reference to it being LEGAL action CAN be construed as threatening. For all she knows it means coming to her home with a baseball bat and beating the card out of her hand. (dramatic, but it's just to make a point)

And, um, not to split hairs here, but you are asking for a piece of cardboard back that you voluntarily gave her, and she needed to use. A court isn't going to force her to give it back to you. Your argument about her potentailly using the new wife's SS# won't hold water...all your ex needs is a pen and a piece of paper and would still have the number anyway. You can only take legal action if she DOES something illegal with it, you can't sue her on potential.

What exactly do you expect a judge to do to her anyway? Throw her in jail? Fine her? She can say she lost it, threw it away...it's useless now if the insurance has changed.

Oh, I can comment on the daycare issue. #1 that is normally a pre payment, not post attendance & #2 a care facility is not responsible for getting in the middle of your divorce problems. They are not going to accept money then have to go to the administrative trouble of refunding somone.

 

[denverb]

My wife and i both read it and neither of use thought the phrase "further action may be taken" sounded threatening. oh well, not much i can do about it now. I specifically said "may" instead of "will" but maybe that doesn't make a difference.

About the card - i didn't really expect the court to do anything other than to tell her to give it back. (which is why i wasn't going to do anything in the first place and used the word "may" in the letter) I doubt i'll include that section in the motion. I just thought by actually filing a motion for it would prove what my "further action" was. (the card may be useless but my wife's social security number isn't!)

The daycare for my child with my current wife is not prepaid. I just assumed that it isn't where she is either. I realize the daycare isn't going to want to get involved. That's why i'm asking if anyone has any suggestions about a way to do that since i didn't know if it would even work. The problem is that my ex is required by a court order to tell me and the cs officer if there is any change in job status within 10 days- she finally told the cs officer 5 months later when she started working but only because she wants daycare money and she sure as heck isn't going to tell either of us when she quits working because that's less money then. i have a feeling she will be taking 3 months off when she has her next child (or victim you could say- which will be within a couple months) and therefore will have no work related daycare. but if she actually goes back to work then there will be summer time daycare which will cost more. she claims her subsidized daycare is to run out in may but she'll have another kid by then and so her family size will increase and who knows? she'll probably qualify for all the assitance again. i don't want to go to court every other week because she keeps changing everything so what is a guy to do??? i seriously don't know.

 

[stealth2]

When our kids were in daycare, the judge ordered us to split the cost. I gave the center a copy of the order, and they arranged for us to be billed separately. However, when he quit paying his share, they expected me to pay it if I wanted the kid(s) to remain enrolled. You may want to ask if they can do something similar. (oh, he did eventually reimburse me.)