after the ex gets re-married does me child support change?

[scott 6466]

You are falling into a trap that many parents fall into.

You are resenting the fact that she, specifically, doesn't have to go out to work to support the children. You are acting as though her husband's contribution isn't credited to her.

Unfortunately, some of the posters on this board tend to feed into that sentiment....but it has no validity on a legal level.

Mom and her husband are an economic "unit". As long as the children are being provided for, (and you admit that they are provided for generously) then you can't claim that your support pays for her hair and nails.

Think about it seriously? If they spend 2k a month on the kids support. (just an example) and mom spends 400.00 a month on hair and nails....how can anyone ever prove what specific money paid for what? Even if she uses the money from support as her "spending" money, the only reason that she is doing that is simplicity and convenience.

Otherwise, the money could be spent directly on the children and her husband could give her an allowance for her spending money....but it wouldn't change anything. She would still be spending the same amount on hair and nails, and the children would still be provided for just as generously.

However....I can understand you being against any CS coming out of your pay, at least as long as the children still receive disability payments based on your account. However if you are going back to work its probable that your disability will eventually end, and you will have to be directly responsible for contributing to your children's support.

You should certainly make sure that an income is "imputed" to mom so that your child support is calculated fairly. Other than that, as long as your children are provided for generously, you have no legal or moral basis to complain or even care about what mom spends money on.

I promise I don't have any resentment providing child support for my kids, although I do have an issue with my ex currently controlling my life. Prior to 2004 I was in a potisiton to control myself, both cognitively and financially, now I'm limited and just getting back to my old self.
I've been doing my best not to cause any problems between my ex and I, I feel that if there are any negative issues between the ex and I it will effect my kids. I hate the fact of going back through the court for two main reasons, one how it may effect the kids, two financial limitations. I realize I'll eventually have to go to court just to get the paper work updated, right now I'm not in a position to afford it. I haven't started work yet, I'm suppose to start at the end of this month after that I move into my house in June. I'm just trying to figure out how to benefit my kids while taking care of myself while keeping a sound relationship with my ex.
Try to imagine being limited to your house for two plus years, when you got your kids all you can do is stay at home and play or watch movies. Any time your ex wanted to run erronds without the kids she would just call and drop the kids off-I was always home as I couldn't leave. Now things are a little different, my physical health is better and with the med reduction my cognitive abilities are much better. I can do things on my own now but me ex still wont permit me to take my kids anywhere. I'm not in a financial position to have the divorce paper updated so I have to propose things to the ex and she can say yes or no, usually no. It will all change for the better I just have to wait.