Alimony and Social Security Retirement Calif

[Sw3tflower]

Married 30 years, ex stopped paying alimony 3 months ago and refuses to pay anymore. It is my sole income. I will start getting SS Retirement based on his income in March of $1085. My ex liquidated ALL my retirement, community assets, stocks, bonds and pension funds (about 2 mil) during divorce. In return he orally promised to pay me alimony the rest of my life to prevent contempt action. Should I bring him to court for arrears? Can he be forced to continue to pay me alimony? He says he is giving me spousal support by allowing me to have half of his SS.

 

[LdiJ]

Married 30 years, ex stopped paying alimony 3 months ago and refuses to pay anymore. It is my sole income. I will start getting SS Retirement based on his income in March of $1085. My ex liquidated ALL my retirement, community assets, stocks, bonds and pension funds (about 2 mil) during divorce. In return he orally promised to pay me alimony the rest of my life to prevent contempt action. Should I bring him to court for arrears? Can he be forced to continue to pay me alimony? He says he is giving me spousal support by allowing me to have half of his SS.

That is a big fat lie. In the first place, his benefits do not reduce one bit by you collecting SS on his earnings record. That is something that you are entitled to receive above and beyond what any divorce decree says. He has no say over it at all.

You should absolutely take him to court for contempt for him stopping the alimony payment.

 

[Zigner]

... he orally promised to pay me alimony the rest of my life to prevent contempt action.

Was this oral promise incorporated in to a/the court order?

 

[t74]

Married 30 years, ex stopped paying alimony 3 months ago and refuses to pay anymore. It is my sole income. I will start getting SS Retirement based on his income in March of $1085. My ex liquidated ALL my retirement, community assets, stocks, bonds and pension funds (about 2 mil) during divorce. In return he orally promised to pay me alimony the rest of my life to prevent contempt action. Should I bring him to court for arrears? Can he be forced to continue to pay me alimony? He says he is giving me spousal support by allowing me to have half of his SS.

How could he have had access to YOUR assets? Why do you not have SS of your own to draw from?

 

[Sw3tflower]

The promise was oral only. 40 years ago I worked in the UC Medical system for 3 years as an RN. I did not pay into SS. I then transferred to another hospital for 4 years. During this time I was supporting my husband until he got his Calif. license and bought his own practice. I then got pregnant.We both decided his salary was enough to support me as a stay at home mom. I do not have enough credits to qualify for SS on my own. We combined all our assets in both our names. I never withdrew from our retirement funds or life insurance. We did have separate checking accounts. I did not know he was liquidating all the funds. It gets complicated since he stole my identity and changed my address to his office address, I never saw any of our financial information. He was self employed. We divorced at 60. Too late to get back into nursing or fund a retirement plan from scratch. Spousal support is my only source of income and I need it to pay for my Medicare, as well as rent etc.

 

[t74]

Yours is a testament to why everyone needs to take charge of their own retirement. Unfortunately, at our age (I am a little older than you seem to be), women generally stayed home especially if married to a person with an unpredictable schedule.

I suggest you refer to these as "our" rather than "my" assets unless some were truly in your name alone. It is a better description of the actual situation. It appears you are in CA. "My" assets in a community property state might be interpreted as an inheritance from your family.

Our pension funds required a spouse's signature for withdrawals; while this is not always the case, it would be interesting to investigate whether there was any misrepresentation in accessing funds in various institutions. I am surprised your attorney did not suggest an accounting. (Please say you had your own representation during the divorce!)

I suggest you consult a divorce attorney specializing in estates similar to that you estimated to have to determine if there is any possibility of revisiting issues. There is something very wrong with the position you are now in.

I also suggest that since you appear to have children that you enlist one of them to assist you as you have to plan long term and need to make sure someone is up to speed to pick up your financial matters on short notice.

For the worst case, make contact with your senior services agency which can help you with affordable housing and programs available for low income seniors.

I hope others have legal advice for you. Good luck.

 

[stealth2]

Unless a court has ordered him to pay alimony, he is not compelled to, nor would he be found in contempt.

 

[LdiJ]

Unless a court has ordered him to pay alimony, he is not compelled to, nor would he be found in contempt.

I was under the impression that the alimony was court ordered...that its duration was the oral part. However you are correct, if he was never ordered to pay alimony at all (not even as part of a divorce agreement) then he cannot be held in contempt. If the issue was reserved it might still be possible to get a court order for alimony.

 

[stealth2]

I was under the impression that the alimony was court ordered...that its duration was the oral part. However you are correct, if he was never ordered to pay alimony at all (not even as part of a divorce agreement) then he cannot be held in contempt. If the issue was reserved it might still be possible to get a court order for alimony.

It is unclear, IMO....

 

[Sw3tflower]

I do not understand. Is it against policy to have needed legal advice more then one time? Especially when years have gone by between questions. When I got my divorce I was in need of legal advice and asked for help. When I had questions about my landlord I also asked about legal implications. This was 3 years ago and about 8 years ago.
As for alimony, it was court ordered. Getting a divorce when you and your ex are close to retirement had many more difficulties then I anticipated. Is having a 'history' a point against me? As I said, my questions were several years ago. My question now is about how to handle retirement after my divorce.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I do not understand. Is it against policy to have needed legal advice more then one time? Especially when years have gone by between questions. When I got my divorce I was in need of legal advice and asked for help. When I had questions about my landlord I also asked about legal implications. This was 3 years ago and about 8 years ago.
As for alimony, it was court ordered. Getting a divorce when you and your ex are close to retirement had many more difficulties then I anticipated. Is having a 'history' a point against me? As I said, my questions were several years ago. My question now is about how to handle retirement after my divorce.

It is when you never seem to learn.

Legally, an oral agreement is worth about the same amount as the paper it's written on.

Yes, at the age of 60 you could have argued that you should get permanent alimony upon the dissolution of a 30+ year marriage. If you had that, you'd have a legal leg to stand on.

But you didn't.

If it's not in a court order, he doesn't have to pay it.

 

[Sw3tflower]

Alimony WAS a court order. It was to last until either my ex or I died. I am sorry for not being more clear in my original question. My ex stated to get his Social Security he had to sign me up for it. Then he would not have to pay me spousal support anymore. That is what I didn't understand.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Alimony WAS a court order. It was to last until either my ex or I died. I am sorry for not being more clear in my original question. My ex stated to get his Social Security he had to sign me up for it. Then he would not have to pay me spousal support anymore. That is what I didn't understand.

What does the court order actually say? Because he may be misinterpreting it. (Big surprise.)

And no, unless the court order says that alimony stops when he starts getting Social Security, or some such thing, he's wrong.

 

[Sw3tflower]

I appreciate your reply. Social Security was not mentioned at all in the court order. In fact I appreciate all the replies I got. Thank you very much. I am going to court next week and start the arrears process.

 

[stealth2]

As for alimony, it was court ordered.

But for how long? You say he told you that he would pay for the rest of your life - what did the COURT order? That's what matters.