any advice?

[dixygrl04]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? tn, but my stepdaughter lives in al, her mom went to jail last aug, which her maternal grandma, got her and her sister, she notified my husband(him and the child's mom were never married) about the whole thing, but let on like she had no type of custody, but the mom signed a paper for her to act for medical and school activity purposes, the dept of human resources is involved in the whole thing, but never calls my husband. he has no official visitation set up, we really try for every other wk end and all, sometimes they stick to it, etc. anyway, the mom is really strung out,etc, the grandma has really helped see after my step daughter and her sister all their lives.
the grandma gives us all these details, my husband offers for her to come live with us, etc and as long as he doesn't push it or act on it , she agrees, but like he talked with the caseworker, she said as long as the grandma didn't mind, she could stay with us until the mom was out or whatever, then the grandma said she was not forcing her to do nothing. he has called the dhs many many times, over 2 yrs, we have not been able to afford a lawyer, and he doesn't really want to take her from her mom or sister or the grandma, but things just aren't getting better.
the whole bunch is warped, they've got the child on 6 different meds and she's only 10 yrs old. she goes to all this counseling, if she goes to school with the slightest bruise on her, the dhs gets involved, it's all real dramatic. What i want to know is, should my husband -the child's father- be notified if the mom gets picked up or whatever the case is, where the kids have to be taken out of the home. the dhs never has once called him.
I thought grandparents don't even have rights, but parents do. I am so lost. I mean the mother went to rehab a month or 2 after she got put in jail, and came home in march, and of course she's back messed up, the kids are with the grandma, but really they were never supposed to be out of the grandma's care. also, if the mom is in jail or the dhs don't let her have them, do we have to have a lawyer to get the child ? I mean she's his daughter, why should he not be the one she comes to stay with?

 

[stealth2]

One of the problems when CPS/DHS get involved - they ARE involved. The kids' school is a mandatory reporter, so they will report the slightest thing that seems off, be it a scrape or a bruise - ESPECIALLY now that there is a history. One of the other problems is that Dad is out of state. A state agency now has control of the kids, and sending them out of state will require CPS to relinquish that control to a different state. That's very unlikely to happen absent a court order. If your husband wants the kids to live with him, he's going to need to petition for custody through the courts. It's that simple.

 

[dixygrl04]

it's me again

Today, my husband finally talked with a caseworker, she told him that in a situation like hers, which involves drug use mainly,that the parent who has custody chooses who the child lives with. He still asked why was not informed of any of these situations by the many caseworkers they've had. she blew him off on that. They invited us to some type of meeting and we can discuss our concerns, etc, but we would have to go through court for custody.
She also informed us that the mom still has rights, she has not lost custody of them and any decisions will still have to go through her. They told him he could sign a confidentiality form and get the child;s info.
What I'm asking about now, is in alabama, what would the chance be of us getting custody of his daughter, especially with all the strikes against mom right now? The lady also said that we could go before the judge and get a temp. custody order. All I know is, he has more rights than the grandma does. any advice, please let me know!!thanks a bunch.