Anyone in here have good success with counseling?

[stealth2]

You aren't the least bit interested in her explosive, violent, reckless and abusive temperment???

She's not here to tell us about it, so no.

 

[stealth2]

I got a problem with some of these posts. it doesn't matter HOW annoying OP is or says he is. That does not give ANYONE the right to physically abuse him. And by blaming his annoyance for the abuse -- why are we blaming the victim when if this were a woman we would say it was never her fault. Here is the thing -- wife has a violent nature if you believe the post. The one responsible for said violence is wife. Not OP. Adults are responsible for their own actions. They don't get away with abuse by saying that the other person annoyed them into decking them. That doesn't work.

I'm not blaming him at all - I was just curious what annoying traits he has.

The wife apparently realizes she has a problem and is interested in working at solving her issues, according to OP. And as I stated before, counseling in a relationship only works if BOTH parties are willing to do the hard work.

 

[LdiJ]

I'm not blaming him at all - I was just curious what annoying traits he has.

The wife apparently realizes she has a problem and is interested in working at solving her issues, according to OP. And as I stated before, counseling in a relationship only works if BOTH parties are willing to do the hard work.

Its sounds like the indications are that both people here want to work on their problems. That is a positive sign.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I got a problem with some of these posts. it doesn't matter HOW annoying OP is or says he is. That does not give ANYONE the right to physically abuse him. And by blaming his annoyance for the abuse -- why are we blaming the victim when if this were a woman we would say it was never her fault. Here is the thing -- wife has a violent nature if you believe the post. The one responsible for said violence is wife. Not OP. Adults are responsible for their own actions. They don't get away with abuse by saying that the other person annoyed them into decking them. That doesn't work.

I tend to be very annoying, and she has problems with her anger. So basically at times I am very annoying to her, in one way or another and she gets violent, or reckless, and abusive.

He doesn't come out and say that she is physically abusive to him, he talks around that, thus my observations and suggestions. If she wants to take an anger management class by herself, she should be allowed to do so and not be forced into couples counseling. If he has been working on this known problem prior to the marriage and it persists, it will be very difficult for OP (original poster) to change or for the marriage to survive. It also sounds like there is a lot of projection, so things may not be what they seem. I am not condoning physical violence no matter who is the abuser.

 

[justsomeguy]

i'm not sure if this matters or not, but it might be relevant. my wife is about 90lbs on her heavy days. she's 4'11. I'm 6'2 250lbs we actually met at a club I worked at as a bouncer. anything violent she does (outside of a vehicle) I really don't care about. I can replace what she breaks, and she's not going to seriously injur me.

She just hurts me emotionally.. sappy I know. the thing is it doesn't mean anything to her.. she tells me on days she's pissed at me that she hates me, that I'm a loser and I caused all the problems in our life. then the next day she tells me she's sorry and she loves me... I just dont' understand how someone can say those things and not mean them, or take them back like that.

She's probably the greatest thing that's ever happened to me in my life, I just want her to be happy with me, and to be happy with her.

i'm sorry I'm using this thread as my own private little diary and forum, hope you all don't mind.

 

[Ohiogal]

i'm not sure if this matters or not, but it might be relevant. my wife is about 90lbs on her heavy days. she's 4'11. I'm 6'2 250lbs we actually met at a club I worked at as a bouncer. anything violent she does (outside of a vehicle) I really don't care about. I can replace what she breaks, and she's not going to seriously injur me.

Dude, bullets can kill as can knives. Ever see the burning bed?

She just hurts me emotionally.. sappy I know. the thing is it doesn't mean anything to her.. she tells me on days she's pissed at me that she hates me, that I'm a loser and I caused all the problems in our life. then the next day she tells me she's sorry and she loves me... I just dont' understand how someone can say those things and not mean them, or take them back like that.

Most abusers do do that. At least she seems to think she needs anger management.

She's probably the greatest thing that's ever happened to me in my life, I just want her to be happy with me, and to be happy with her.

i'm sorry I'm using this thread as my own private little diary and forum, hope you all don't mind.

Actually we are not oprah.com or drphil.com but if you wnat to go on about it go ahead. Don't expect a lot of responses. And counseling definitely sounds like it would be necessary for you. You do not have to put up with it.

 

[justsomeguy]

Actually we are not oprah.com or drphil.com but if you wnat to go on about it go ahead. Don't expect a lot of responses. And counseling definitely sounds like it would be necessary for you. You do not have to put up with it.

Thanks for the reality check. LOL got it.

 

[Bali Hai]

I'm not blaming him at all - I was just curious what annoying traits he has.

The wife apparently realizes she has a problem and is interested in working at solving her issues, according to OP. And as I stated before, counseling in a relationship only works if BOTH parties are willing to do the hard work.

do you all think counseling will help, I think she's up for it, I know I am.

You and some others take that statement from OP and then try to infer that the violent, reckless and abusive wife is doing all the hard work at solving the issues.

Then you home in and ask the husband why he is so annoying, inferring that he is driving the wife to this unacceptable and illegal behavior? I don't get it.