Army Adultress

[GlamGramm]

What is the name of your state ? CA

I have been married for 34 years and recently my husband (retired Army) informed me he has been having an affair for the past 6years with a woman still currently active in the US Army. She is 25yrs old - so the affair began when she was 18 and now she is pregnant! He wants to divorce so he can marry her and start his life over again...He is 64 years old. I have since seen on line both of them posting ads for sexual partners as individuals and as a couple on line on a number of sites.I find this behavior, the affair, the child, the age difference all to be disgusting. Is there any Army code of conduct that she and/or he is in violation of?

 

[Eekamouse]

What is the name of your state ? CA

I have been married for 34 years and recently my husband (retired Army) informed me he has been having an affair for the past 6years with a woman still currently active in the US Army. She is 25yrs old - so the affair began when she was 18 and now she is pregnant! He wants to divorce so he can marry her and start his life over again...He is 64 years old. I have since seen on line both of them posting ads for sexual partners as individuals and as a couple on line on a number of sites.I find this behavior, the affair, the child, the age difference all to be disgusting. Is there any Army code of conduct that she and/or he is in violation of?

He wants a divorce. Will trying to get her in trouble with the military change that?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state ? CA

I have been married for 34 years and recently my husband (retired Army) informed me he has been having an affair for the past 6years with a woman still currently active in the US Army. She is 25yrs old - so the affair began when she was 18 and now she is pregnant! He wants to divorce so he can marry her and start his life over again...He is 64 years old. I have since seen on line both of them posting ads for sexual partners as individuals and as a couple on line on a number of sites.I find this behavior, the affair, the child, the age difference all to be disgusting. Is there any Army code of conduct that she and/or he is in violation of?

The child is NOT "disgusting". His/her parents behavior may be... but do NOT blame an innocent child for the actions of his parents.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

There have been cases handled under the UCMJ that dealt single military personnel having affairs with civilians. The Lt. Flinn case.

But I'd bet that your case doesn't rise to the level required. There are three "Elements of Proof" for the offense of Adultery in the Military:

1. That the accused wrongfully had sexual intercourse with a certain person;
2. That, at the time, the accused or the other person was married to someone else; and
3. That, under the circumstances, the conduct of the accused was to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces or was of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces.

#3 likely isn't going to be met.

 

[not2cleverRed]

There have been cases handled under the UCMJ that dealt single military personnel having affairs with civilians. The Lt. Flinn case.

But I'd bet that your case doesn't rise to the level required. There are three "Elements of Proof" for the offense of Adultery in the Military:

1. That the accused wrongfully had sexual intercourse with a certain person;
2. That, at the time, the accused or the other person was married to someone else; and
3. That, under the circumstances, the conduct of the accused was to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces or was of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces.

#3 likely isn't going to be met.

It depends... He's retired now, but if he wasn't when they began the affair...

 

[Shadowbunny]

It depends... He's retired now, but if he wasn't when they began the affair...

If he was a coworker (or even supervisor) it could also be met.

That being said: OP, I understand your angst. But please, for your own peace of mind, don't attempt to get her in trouble. Getting revenge isn't going to make any of this better.

 

[not2cleverRed]

If he was a coworker (or even supervisor) it could also be met.

That being said: OP, I understand your angst. But please, for your own peace of mind, don't attempt to get her in trouble. Getting revenge isn't going to make any of this better.

Well, getting revenge this way will.

If she wants to stick it to the guy, she should get revenge by getting the best/most favorable financial settlement possible in the divorce, and be the nicest most wonderful person possible, so that everyone sees him for the cad he is. In particular, she should make sure she gets her share of his pension.

Yes, I understand that there is a lot of hurt, and there will continue to be a lot of hurt for a while, but stooping to his level or lower isn't worth it.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Correct that could affect the issue if she was in his chain of command. But if he were senior to her (in rank not age) it would be him that would have had the bigger issues.

But even in the Flinn case where there was no chain of command issues, it was Lt. Flinn's failure to follow the order to stop seeing the married person that actually caused the problem.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Correct that could affect the issue if she was in his chain of command. But if he were senior to her (in rank not age) it would be him that would have had the bigger issues.

But even in the Flinn case where there was no chain of command issues, it was Lt. Flinn's failure to follow the order to stop seeing the married person that actually caused the problem.

Yes. Which in turn could negatively affect OP.