Basic questions about custody law

[mommyanme]

I hate to play devil's advocate here, but if they haven't moved, why in the name of everything holy is mom willing to relocate with Dad, if she knows a divorce is inevitable? Why did she move if she knew a divorce was inevitable? If they haven't lived in Washington for 6 months doesn't the divorce that is taking place in a couple of months need to be done in New Mexico? Or are the OP and wife going to put false information on legal documents to meet the residency requirements?

Oh and either OP is lying about his knowledge or he is actually clueless, but in his 2nd post he says he doesn't know what Primary parent even means, then states they will both argue that they should both be the primary parent.

 

[Just Blue]

I hate to play devil's advocate here, but if they haven't moved, why in the name of everything holy is mom willing to relocate with Dad, if she knows a divorce is inevitable? Why did she move if she knew a divorce was inevitable? If they haven't lived in Washington for 6 months doesn't the divorce that is taking place in a couple of months need to be done in New Mexico? Or are the OP and wife going to put false information on legal documents to meet the residency requirements?

Oh and either OP is lying about his knowledge or he is actually clueless, but in his 2nd post he says he doesn't know what Primary parent even means, then states they will both argue that they should both be the primary parent.

Sometimes it is best to not "think to hard" with trolls...

 

[francero]

When did you move from New Mexico?

If it's only been a couple of months and Mom moves very soon, she will be allowed to do so. If it's been more than 6 months since you moved to WA, then Washington has jurisdiction but this doesn't help you at all - WA is pro-relocation, meaning you'd have to convince the court that the relocation is not in the child's best interest.

[/QUOTE]


I am sorry to appear dense and to be asking similar questions but I am an utter state of disbelief. What if the father has his house, friends, family and most of all business, livelihood in Washington. It just cannot be that he is expected to throw this all away including his lifelong career at the whim of the mother wanting to live across the country. I just cannot believe this. This would be beyond unfair and unjust and simply inconceivable. It might well destroy a person. And I do see your point of seeing a lawyer. Thanks everyone for your input.

 

[LdiJ]

I am sorry to appear dense and to be asking similar questions but I am an utter state of disbelief. What if the father has his house, friends, family and most of all business, livelihood in Washington. It just cannot be that he is expected to throw this all away including his lifelong career at the whim of the mother wanting to live across the country. I just cannot believe this. This would be beyond unfair and unjust and simply inconceivable. It might well destroy a person. And I do see your point of seeing a lawyer. Thanks everyone for your input.

What if dad convinces mom to move away from all of her family and friends, across the country and then decides to divorce her shortly after? Should she be forced to remain where she has no family support just because dad was dishonest when he convinced her to move away? That might well destroy a person also.

 

[Proserpina]

I hate to play devil's advocate here, but if they haven't moved, why in the name of everything holy is mom willing to relocate with Dad, if she knows a divorce is inevitable? Why did she move if she knew a divorce was inevitable? If they haven't lived in Washington for 6 months doesn't the divorce that is taking place in a couple of months need to be done in New Mexico? Or are the OP and wife going to put false information on legal documents to meet the residency requirements?

(Everybody : please switch pronouns if you want)


If they haven't already moved from NM to WA, Dad will need to file for divorce in NM and request permission from the court to relocate the child. Given that there is no presumption for or against relocation, both parents will need to prove their case. So, when Mom is served, she can immediately file for an injunction to prevent Dad from taking the child before the matter is decided. She'll get it, as a rule, and contested divorces aren't going to be all done and dusted in 6 months...so if Dad moves anyway, Mom's got more than enough status quo to be considered the primary parent. It's a done deal.

If they have already moved, NM can't prevent Mom from relocating and WA won't prevent the relocation unless there's a reeeeeeally good reason.

From a purely strategic point, that's quite the genius move on her part.

Oh and either OP is lying about his knowledge or he is actually clueless, but in his 2nd post he says he doesn't know what Primary parent even means, then states they will both argue that they should both be the primary parent.

I wouldn't make such a leap.

But look at it from a WAY more cynical point of view. What I've posted makes sense - unfortunately.

 

[Proserpina]

One more thing:

The child in question is not yet two years old. I'd expect Mom to produce the Golden Uterus card and wave it loud and clearly.

 

[Astrolink]

I am sorry to appear dense and to be asking similar questions but I am an utter state of disbelief. What if the father has his house, friends, family and most of all business, livelihood in Washington. It just cannot be that he is expected to throw this all away including his lifelong career at the whim of the mother wanting to live across the country. I just cannot believe this. This would be beyond unfair and unjust and simply inconceivable. It might well destroy a person. And I do see your point of seeing a lawyer. Thanks everyone for your input.

What if dad convinces mom to move away from all of her family and friends, across the country and then decides to divorce her shortly after? Should she be forced to remain where she has no family support just because dad was dishonest when he convinced her to move away? That might well destroy a person also.[/QUOTE]

For many of us LdiJ, where custody and child rearing mean everything (as a male), I'd rather be in mom's shoes, in EITHER situation. It's the loss of daily parenting that is more devastating than everything else combined.

 

[LdiJ]

For many of us LdiJ, where custody and child rearing mean everything (as a male), I'd rather be in mom's shoes, in EITHER situation. It's the loss of daily parenting that is more devastating than everything else combined.

I was actually making a different point. The loss of daily parenting is devastating to either parent when there is a divorce. Neither parent will get to parent their children on a daily basis.

However, dad was ranting and raving about the unfairness of mom being able to move to another state with the child, and ignoring the fact that he appears to be either luring mom to WA or has already lured mom to WA under what seems like false pretenses.

I was trying to point out his hypocrisy.

And while Pro pointed out very cleverly that the move to WA might have even benefitted mom to some extent in the ability to live where she likes, I sincerely doubt that mom was/is knowledgeable enough about the nuances of relocation to even have a clue about that.

 

[cbg]

After coming late to the thread, I am reading this slightly differently.

It sounds to me as if the OP is saying, in effect, I am afraid that at some point in future, Mom may decide she wants to move back to NM. If she does, what happens?

 

[LdiJ]

After coming late to the thread, I am reading this slightly differently.

It sounds to me as if the OP is saying, in effect, I am afraid that at some point in future, Mom may decide she wants to move back to NM. If she does, what happens?

No, I read it that way as well. WA is relocation friendly therefore if mom has primary custody she is likely to be able to do that, particularly if she does it sooner rather than later...particularly if she tells the court that when he convinced her to move to WA, she had no idea that he wanted a divorce.

 

[Proserpina]

Mommyanme was expressing that she thought Dad was lying or clueless.

Well, when you're an immigrant, it's not in the least bit unusual that you don't quite get the nuances when it comes to family law in the US.

The rush to judgment is a bit quick even for here.

 

[Proserpina]

...deleted.

Sort it out between yourselves.