Battling Relative for Custody of Son

[NC Aggie]

(New York State) Close friend of mine has been battling with family member regarding custody of her son for approximately 5 years now. The dilemma started when the child was removed from the home of my friend who at the time was living with an abusive boyfriend. To prevent her son from being placed into foster care, she allowed a relative to take physical custody of her son who was approximately 8 years old at the time. This relative lived in another state (NY).

Eventually, this friend left the abusive relationship and attempted to regain physical custody of her son. However, the aunt gave her resistance, which ultimately turned into a court battle. Because the child had now been living in another state for an extended period of time, the aunt filed a petition in her home state in which the case was scheduled. My friend, however, was not able to afford an attorney or travel to New York state herself. She attempted to obtain assistance from legal aid but ultimately the court case came and went and my friend was not able to attend or answer the petition to appear in court. The judge granted the relative joint legal custody, with the relative also retaining physical custody.

Since the court's ruling, the relative has made it difficult for my friend to communicate with her son who she technically still share's custody of. The aunt is refusing to allow her to contact her son until she apologize for some of the verbal exchanges that the two of them participated in. What long term remedy or avenue should this friend pursue to first force the aunt to allow her to communicate with her son and ultimately regain full custody?

 

[Proserpina]

(New York State) Close friend of mine has been battling with family member regarding custody of her son for approximately 5 years now. The dilemma started when the child was removed from the home of my friend who at the time was living with an abusive boyfriend. To prevent her son from being placed into foster care, she allowed a relative to take physical custody of her son who was approximately 8 years old at the time. This relative lived in another state (NY).

Eventually, this friend left the abusive relationship and attempted to regain physical custody of her son. However, the aunt gave her resistance, which ultimately turned into a court battle. Because the child had now been living in another state for an extended period of time, the aunt filed a petition in her home state in which the case was scheduled. My friend, however, was not able to afford an attorney or travel to New York state herself. She attempted to obtain assistance from legal aid but ultimately the court case came and went and my friend was not able to attend or answer the petition to appear in court. The judge granted the relative joint legal custody, with the relative also retaining physical custody.

Since the court's ruling, the relative has made it difficult for my friend to communicate with her son who she technically still share's custody of. The aunt is refusing to allow her to contact her son until she apologize for some of the verbal exchanges that the two of them participated in. What long term remedy or avenue should this friend pursue to first force the aunt to allow her to communicate with her son and ultimately regain full custody?

She needs the assistance of an attorney.

There is rarely a reasonable reason to NOT attend a court hearing for custody.

 

[NC Aggie]

She needs the assistance of an attorney.

There is rarely a reasonable reason to NOT attend a court hearing for custody.

Well her current financial state makes it impossible for her to afford to pay an attorney and the issue she's run into with using legal aid is that she resides in one state and her aunt and son reside in another. So the legal aid services in her state have not been resourceful. Many of the legal aid services in New York state require you to be a resident of New York.

She earnestly did not have the financial resources to travel to New York state for the court hearing. She doesn't have a car or license and was unemployed at the time.

 

[Proserpina]

Well her current financial state makes it impossible for her to afford to pay an attorney and the issue she's run into with using legal aid is that she resides in one state and her aunt and son reside in another. So the legal aid services in her state have not been resourceful. Many of the legal aid services in New York state require you to be a resident of New York.

She earnestly did not have the financial resources to travel to New York state for the court hearing. She doesn't have a car or license and was unemployed at the time.

Did she request a continuance? Did she ask if they'd allow a telephonic appearance?

She didn't, did she?

I'm sorry, but her problems are far beyond the scope of a message forum. Does she WANT her child back, or not? If she does, she's going to have to find a way.

And she needs to be able to answer the question of why it's in the CHILD'S best interest to be removed from the only home he's known for what - over 5 years now?

 

[wavehopper27]

The courts are going to look at what's in the chil's best interest. Is it to stay in the home that he's know for 5 years or get removed and relocated back to wherever mom is?

 

[Antigone*]

Aggie, why isn't your friend asking these questions?

 

[janM]

And, the usual unanswered question...where is Dad? Was he involved in the legal procedings?

 

[NC Aggie]

Proserpina, sorry I wasn't clear in the previous posts, but she did participate in at least 2 initial hearings via telephone. She supposedly was working with an attorney she was referred to via legal aid but the attorney failed to make themself available on the date of the last court proceeding in which the relative was awarded joint custody.

I share your opinion that she's definitely going to have to be able to convince a court that it's in the best interest of the child for him to be returned to her physical custody and I think she realizes she has an uphill battle. I've also stressed to her that she needs the assistance of an attorney, whether it's a hire attorney or one she obtains through some type of legal aid. However, I think her previous experience with the last attorney she was referred to has diminished her trust in using an attorney through legal aid and she doesn't have the money to hire an attorney of her own.

Antigone, she has asked these questions, just not on the messageboard. She's reached out to several family members and friends, like myself, to get guidance and is why I made the original post in hopes I might be able to share some new strategies and advice to her. Trust me, so far you guys haven't said anything I haven't told her already or asked when I found out the details of her situation.

janM, the dad as you probably assumed is not in the picture.

 

[Proserpina]

Proserpina, sorry I wasn't clear in the previous posts, but she did participate in at least 2 initial hearings via telephone. She supposedly was working with an attorney she was referred to via legal aid but the attorney failed to make themself available on the date of the last court proceeding in which the relative was awarded joint custody.

I share your opinion that she's definitely going to have to be able to convince a court that it's in the best interest of the child for him to be returned to her physical custody and I think she realizes she has an uphill battle. I've also stressed to her that she needs the assistance of an attorney, whether it's a hire attorney or one she obtains through some type of legal aid. However, I think her previous experience with the last attorney she was referred to has diminished her trust in using an attorney through legal aid and she doesn't have the money to hire an attorney of her own.

Antigone, she has asked these questions, just not on the messageboard. She's reached out to several family members and friends, like myself, to get guidance and is why I made the original post in hopes I might be able to share some new strategies and advice to her. Trust me, so far you guys haven't said anything I haven't told her already or asked when I found out the details of her situation.

janM, the dad as you probably assumed is not in the picture.

I appreciate and understand your concern but this really is NOT your legal battle.

Let her do it herself.

 

[NC Aggie]

I appreciate and understand your concern but this really is NOT your legal battle.

Let her do it herself.

Well in all due respect, everyone isn't equipped with the knowledge or resources to "do it themself". Actually, most people have to lean on someone in some regards in areas that they have limited knowledge or understanding of. Hence, the reason why most lay people hire attorneys in matters of law. With that said, this individual is a friend who's reached out to me for help and that's what I intend on doing. More than likely she's going to have to obtain professional assistance but at least I can share with her the opinions of others on how she may proceed. I think it's pretty obvious she's going to have to use an attorney to petition the court to regain full custody, but in the interim I think we're trying to determine how she could force the relative to open the lines of communication with her son and what grounds does the relative have in preventing her from contacting her son.

 

[Proserpina]

Well in all due respect, everyone isn't equipped with the knowledge or resources to "do it themself". Actually, most people have to lean on someone in some regards in areas that they have limited knowledge or understanding of. Hence, the reason why most lay people hire attorneys in matters of law. With that said, this individual is a friend who's reached out to me for help and that's what I intend on doing. More than likely she's going to have to obtain professional assistance but at least I can share with her the opinions of others on how she may proceed. I think it's pretty obvious she's going to have to use an attorney to petition the court to regain full custody, but in the interim I think we're trying to determine how she could force the relative to open the lines of communication with her son and what grounds does the relative have in preventing her from contacting her son.

You have a computer and internet access. Let your "friend" use that. Or help your "friend" pay for an attorney.

You're welcome.

 

[NC Aggie]

You have a computer and internet access. Let your "friend" use that. Or help your "friend" pay for an attorney.

You're welcome.

I am not certain your motivation in even responding to the thread, but as a long time poster on this board I think too many desktop pundits have infiltrated the board to debate or go back and forth about issues presented by people who are genuinely seeking USEFUL opinions, advice, or just feedback. I think the mature thing to do is to offer something of substance or ignore the post.

 

[TheGeekess]

I am not certain your motivation in even responding to the thread, but as a long time poster on this board I think too many desktop pundits have infiltrated the board to debate or go back and forth about issues presented by people who are genuinely seeking USEFUL opinions, advice, or just feedback. I think the mature thing to do is to offer something of substance or ignore the post.

Alrighty then.