Can harassment charges be filed?

[Neal1421]

Disregard the smile to the left, I must have hit the button by mistake. This is not a laughing matter. If you know how I can remove it please let me know.


What is the name of your state? TN

Some of you know my fiance's situation, if not you can read up on it in the link below if you choose.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=324337

Anyway my fiance sent a letter to his ex a little over a month ago expressing when he would be taking his last 2 weeks of the summer with his child. The dates on the letter stated that he would get the child on Monday, July 23rd to begin the 2 weeks.

Well, his regularly scheduled weekend was that Friday so he picked the child up and tried to return her that Sunday and then pick her up again Monday however the mother said just keep her. He kept her.

During the whole time that he had his daughter, she called and harrased him about things that had nothing to do with his daughter just calling because she had nothing better to do. From what he says, she didn't really mention their daughter. She sent him text messages with immature jokes like, "What do you call a 36 year old man with two kids by two different mothers and isn't married to either of them? Damaged goods"

He let them go but told her that he will have his cell phone provider to send him the records of all phone calls and text messages.

Fast forward to this Friday. She called him after 6pm telling him that she was waiting him him to bring his daughter back. He told her calmly, knowing how she blows up about any little thing he didn't want to argue since he had the child in the car with him, that he was scheduled to have his child until that Monday as stated in the letter that he sent her.

She said that he picked her up Friday and that he was to return her Friday and that she didn't care what his letter said, he picked the child up on Friday and needed to return her that Friday. He told her that he wouldn't as it was still his time with his daughter and the mother proceeded to start yelling and using profanity so he hung up.

She kept calling him, but he refused to pick up as he knew that it was his scheduled time with his child and she wasn't calling to talk to their daughter. The funny thing is that even if this wasn't a scheduled part of his two week time with his daughter, it was still his weekend and she wouldn't have been home until Sunday at six.

Anyway, she finally left a message saying that she was calling the police saying that he kidnapped their daughter. The police showed up at his mother's house asking where he and the child were as they do not know where I live which is where he and the child were.

When we finally showed up his mother was having panic attacks, which she has a condition that he, I and everyone else in the situation knows about. She was freaking out and had to be taken inside and calmed down. When it was all said and done, the police said that there was nothing that he could do about it as my fiance showed him the letter that he sent her and that if she had a problem with it, she needed to take it up with the family court.

Now after all of that, can he file harrassment charges against her for this? I know it may not be possible, but I just think it's crazy that after all of the court dates and arguements that have come and gone, that she is still this way.

Can anything be done?

Thanks for reading my novel!What is the name of your state?

 

[BS Spotter]

What does their order state regarding communications?

 

[Neal1421]

What does their order state regarding communications?

It says nothing in regards to her being able to call him or the child when she is with him, although he does allow her to talk to the child if she asks to speak to her.

It does stipulate that he is to have two unimpeded (sp) phone calls with the child when she is with her, Tuesdays and Thursdays and 7pm.

 

[BS Spotter]

Have him send a certified letter w/return receipt to immediately cease the harassing phone and electronic communications. Then he should cite exactly what was said and when (date and time). He should also state that if this continues, he will take additional legal action against her where she will be paying his attorney's fees, along with significant financial damages which will be determined upon filing of the suit. Also cite appropriate statutes in the state as they apply.

Then if she continues, go to the police station, file a report and then the court and file a restraining order.

 

[Neal1421]

Ok, thanks.

Any other suggestions or does everyone else agree?

 

[Neal1421]

Is it petty?

Ok, so since he returned his daughter last week my fiance has not been able to talk to his child.

According to the court order, the mother is responsible for the child calling her father every Tuesday and Thursday at 7pm. This is in the court order due to the fact that she is constantly changing her number and never giving the new number to him even though the court order also says that she is to notify him of all changes to personal info regarding the child such as address and phone number.

Anyway, my fiance wants to file contempt of court for those missed phone calls. This isn't the first time it has happened. It has occurred probably once a month since the order, but he would just let it go but he is to the point where he knows that she will continue with this behaviour unless something is done.

Do you all think it would be petty of him to go to court for the missed phone conversations? He has written certified letters in the past when she has done this and told her that if he misses his conversations he will file contempt, but she just doesn't care.

Thanks!

 

[BS Spotter]

Anyway, my fiance wants to file contempt of court for those missed phone calls. This isn't the first time it has happened. It has occurred probably once a month since the order, but he would just let it go but he is to the point where he knows that she will continue with this behaviour unless something is done.

Do you all think it would be petty of him to go to court for the missed phone conversations? He has written certified letters in the past when she has done this and told her that if he misses his conversations he will file contempt, but she just doesn't care.

Thanks!

YES...He should file a show cause for contempt on this. And when he files a show cause, he should list EACH DENIAL as an individual violation, since each denial of a phone call is a separate incident/violation. So if she is found guilty of missing 6 calls (for example), she is penalized the equivalent of her 6th violation. In some states, that could cost her over 4k in fines and/or almost a year in jail since more than 3 violations gets the offender $1k per violation. He should motion the court to view each denial as an individual violation (instead of violating ONE provision) and she should be penalized according to statutes for ___ violations.

He should make sure he's very detailed in his memorandum in support of addressing previous contact with the ex about this, which further indicates her WILLFUL denial of phone calls.

 

[Neal1421]

Ok, so I will admit first that my fiance has been sitting on his ass about this until now. He is now about to file the contempt of court charges against her. In all, he has 10 instances since the beginning of August where she has not had the child call when she is ordered by the court to do so.

Now, this is his plan and I totally disagree with it. He wants to file for contempt, but only list 3 or 4 or the instances but word it in a way to say that those are not the only times that it happened. He says he wants to do this so that she won't be able to see the dates and try to make excuses for each of the times that she hasn't called before they get to court. I have told him that it would be best to just go ahead and list them all so that she can be charged with each time. Even if she does try to come up with an excuse, the dates show that she is totally disregarding the order. The dates are shown below and he can supply the phone records to prove them

August 9, 2007 No call
August 14, 2007 No call.
August 16, 2007 No call.
August 21, 2007 No call.
August 28, 2007 No call.
August 30, 2007 No call.
Sept. 04, 2007 No call.
Sept. 11, 2007 No call.
Sept. 13, 2007 No call.
Sept. 18, 2007 No call

I have told him that if the judge sees all of the dates listed, there is no way that she will be able to come up with an excuse especially when she has time to call and leave threatening messages on his voicemail which he plans to take into court. There are also several instances before the ones listed from this year, I just chose not to list them and only concentrate on these.

What do you all think? Should he list them all and risk her being able to come up with an excuse for them or only list a few and then bring the others up to show a pattern?

 

[Silverplum]

I say list them all.

Ok, so I will admit first that my fiance has been sitting on his ass about this until now. He is now about to file the contempt of court charges against her. In all, he has 10 instances since the beginning of August where she has not had the child call when she is ordered by the court to do so.

Now, this is his plan and I totally disagree with it. He wants to file for contempt, but only list 3 or 4 or the instances but word it in a way to say that those are not the only times that it happened. He says he wants to do this so that she won't be able to see the dates and try to make excuses for each of the times that she hasn't called before they get to court. I have told him that it would be best to just go ahead and list them all so that she can be charged with each time. Even if she does try to come up with an excuse, the dates show that she is totally disregarding the order. The dates are shown below and he can supply the phone records to prove them

August 9, 2007 No call
August 14, 2007 No call.
August 16, 2007 No call.
August 21, 2007 No call.
August 28, 2007 No call.
August 30, 2007 No call.
Sept. 04, 2007 No call.
Sept. 11, 2007 No call.
Sept. 13, 2007 No call.
Sept. 18, 2007 No call

I have told him that if the judge sees all of the dates listed, there is no way that she will be able to come up with an excuse especially when she has time to call and leave threatening messages on his voicemail which he plans to take into court. There are also several instances before the ones listed from this year, I just chose not to list them and only concentrate on these.

What do you all think? Should he list them all and risk her being able to come up with an excuse for them or only list a few and then bring the others up to show a pattern?

 

[Zephyr]

me too, and the more excuses she has, the worse she looks so it doesn't matter that she will have excuses

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

List them all ... it shows a pattern.

In determining which parent should be primary, it includes:
Each parent's past and potential for future performance of parenting responsibilities, including the willingness and ability of each of the parents to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent, consistent with the best interest of the child

 

[Silverplum]

me too, and the more excuses she has, the worse she looks so it doesn't matter that she will have excuses

Yes! The Zeph is on it!

 

[Neal1421]

I will tell him to list them all, hopefully he will listen.

The sad thing is that since the court, well one judge in particular, always seems to side with her, she thinks she is invincible.

When he did talk to his daughter on one of the rare times that she called, he asked his daughter why she hadn't called. She then asked her mother who then in return said, "He'll get over it".

Then this past weekend when we took her back, after she tried to get us to rear end her while we had her child in the car, he told her to try to make sure that his daughter calls this week. She told him, "I don't have to do sh*t."

There was a verbal exchange after that in which she verbally attacked myself and my child. Words were said by both parties and then we left. As we were leaving her apt complex, she decided to follow us. She sped to get in front of us and then slammed on her brakes trying to get her to hit her. Let me remind you that her child was in the back seat of her car at the time. My fiance got into the other lane and tried to pass her and at this point she started throwing things from her vehicle as we were driving down the street. She continued to follow us and we eventually stopped to get dinner. She stopped there too got out of the car and spit on him. At this point, I told him to just get in the car before something really happens and we ended up going to his mother's house. She stopped following us after we left.

We have filed a police report about what happened, but I am sure without real evidence nothing will happen. Should this be mentioned the court papers also, or should he just leave it alone?

Sorry for so much, this woman is just crazy and has no regard for the safety of her child or anyone else's for that matter.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

While he is at it, he might want to consider a change that has the exchange of the child in a public place.

 

[StampGirl]

You can always exchange the child at the local police department or have an officer present when you do the exchange. That is what my ex and I do. That way there is a witness if anything happens and its safe for the child as well. How scary that must have been for his little girl.