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can he take my baby away?

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new2this

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Massachusettes

i am 8 months pregnant and i have left the father of my child because of abusive reasons. he says he is going to have the baby by the time "its all done and over with" because i am unstable. only am i unstable because i have gone back to him and left him 2 times since i have been pregnant, going back because of promises he could not keep. can he get custody because i have moved from his house back to my mothers a few times during pregnancy?
 


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rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Did you make any police reports of the abuse or get a restraining order?
When you have the child the father has some choices, he can do nothing and wait for you to do something, he can sign an Acknowledgement of Paternity, petition the courts for paternity custody and visitation. If and or when there is a petition to the courts, the judge will decide based on the facts. We cannot decide that here or evaluate your stability. Generally if both parents are fit they are awarded joint legal custody and some visitation, just because both parents are awarded some form of custody doesn't mean they automatically have possession of the child. If you are on state aid, the state will bring a paternity case against the father, DNA test and a jusge will order child support back to the date of application for services. Either one of you may file to establish patenrity and child support will go back to the date of application. It is up to dad to file for custody and visitation. Just because there has been domestic violence or stress doesn't mean the other party will be found unfit. I strongly suggest you call the DV hotline and get some counseling.
 
S

snostar

Senior Member
The fact that you moved while pregnant will have no relevance in court. The reasons for your move, may. Nothing can be done in court until the child is born, focus on providing a safe, stable environment to bring the child home to.
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
new2this said:
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Massachusettes

i am 8 months pregnant and i have left the father of my child because of abusive reasons. he says he is going to have the baby by the time "its all done and over with" because i am unstable. only am i unstable because i have gone back to him and left him 2 times since i have been pregnant, going back because of promises he could not keep. can he get custody because i have moved from his house back to my mothers a few times during pregnancy?
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No, the fact that you moved back and forth between his home and your mother's home does not make you unstable....nor would that give him grounds for custody.

However, if he has any hard evidence that you are unstable or legally unfit for other reasons (and you moving back and forth could be a symptom) that could help him.

I am going to give you the same advice that I would give any pregnant woman in your situation. The dude is an abuser. Accept that and don't go back to him again, no matter what he promises or threatens. If he harms you again, CALL THE POLICE. If he threatens you with physical harm, CALL THE POLICE.

Stop communicating with him entirely. Don't answer his calls. Don't tell him when you go into labor, don't put him on the birth certificate or allow him to sign a paternity affidavit, and don't file for child support if you can possibly avoid it.

However, also accept the fact that he is the father, and if he wants to be a part of the child's life then you are going to have to eventually deal with that. However you shouldn't make it easy for him if he has been abusing you.
 
J

jslopez711

Member
LdiJ said:
No, the fact that you moved back and forth between his home and your mother's home does not make you unstable....nor would that give him grounds for custody.

However, if he has any hard evidence that you are unstable or legally unfit for other reasons (and you moving back and forth could be a symptom) that could help him.

I am going to give you the same advice that I would give any pregnant woman in your situation. The dude is an abuser. Accept that and don't go back to him again, no matter what he promises or threatens. If he harms you again, CALL THE POLICE. If he threatens you with physical harm, CALL THE POLICE.

Stop communicating with him entirely. Don't answer his calls. Don't tell him when you go into labor, don't put him on the birth certificate or allow him to sign a paternity affidavit, and don't file for child support if you can possibly avoid it.

However, also accept the fact that he is the father, and if he wants to be a part of the child's life then you are going to have to eventually deal with that. However you shouldn't make it easy for him if he has been abusing you.
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L, the average number of times an abused spouse leaves before she/he leaves for good is seven (7). OP is on two and pregnant.
 
Z

Zephyr

Senior Member
jslopez711 said:
L, the average number of times an abused spouse leaves before she/he leaves for good is seven (7). OP is on two and pregnant.
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that doesn't mean op shouldn't tbe repeatedly told to leave and stay away from him :)
 
B

betterthanher

Guest
jslopez711 said:
L, the average number of times an abused spouse leaves before she/he leaves for good is seven (7). OP is on two and pregnant.
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And how many of those factored in were KILLED? What the f kinda stat is THAT?! :rolleyes:
 
J

jslopez711

Member
betterthanher said:
Just as long as you don't quote stupid stats like that .
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There you go again. If you don't like the stat then that is cool dude. Chill out!!! You don't hold the moral high-ground becuause you think the stat stupid.
 
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