Can I be kicked out of the house by only one parent?

[B218]

So I'm 18 and living with my parents, and my father constantly threatens to kick me out. Can he do that without my mom agreeing to it? They both own the house, are legally married, and are both on the deed as far as I know.

I live in Illinois, and don't know if he has a legal basis for this. He's been threatening since I was 16.

 

[quincy]

So I'm 18 and living with my parents, and my father constantly threatens to kick me out. Can he do that without my mom agreeing to it? They both own the house, are legally married, and are both on the deed as far as I know.

I live in Illinois, and don't know if he has a legal basis for this. He's been threatening since I was 16.

If your mom wants you to stay - and if she is not intimidated by your father - you can stay, even if it is against your father’s wishes. Have you graduated from high school?

 

[Taxing Matters]

The basic rule in real estate law is that any owner who is in possession of the property (which would describe your parents' situation) may invite another to come onto the property and other owners of the property may not kick the invitee out. So if your mother says you may stay, your father can't take any legal action (like an eviction/ejection action) to force you out. So the question is whether your mother would back him up or instead side with you to stay. What's causing the trouble between you and your father? If the problem is something like abiding by house rules, you might want to consider following those rules even if dislike them to keep the peace. Lowering the tension in the house would benefit everyone, especially your mother whom I'm guessing doesn't want to have to be in the position of taking sides between you and your father. In the meantime, start planning for living on your own. The sooner you do that, the better off you'll be if both your father and mother say it's time for you to get out.

 

[adjusterjack]

my father constantly threatens to kick me out.

Bring your father here and let's get his side of the story.

 

[B218]

If your mom wants you to stay - and if she is not intimidated by your father - you can stay, even if it is against your father’s wishes. Have you graduated from high school?

I have graduated from high school

 

[B218]

The basic rule in real estate law is that any owner who is in possession of the property (which would describe your parents' situation) may invite another to come onto the property and other owners of the property may not kick the invitee out. So if your mother says you may stay, your father can't take any legal action (like an eviction/ejection action) to force you out. So the question is whether your mother would back him up or instead side with you to stay. What's causing the trouble between you and your father? If the problem is something like abiding by house rules, you might want to consider following those rules even if dislike them to keep the peace. Lowering the tension in the house would benefit everyone, especially your mother whom I'm guessing doesn't want to have to be in the position of taking sides between you and your father. In the meantime, start planning for living on your own. The sooner you do that, the better off you'll be if both your father and mother say it's time for you to get out.

I'm working on getting a job while my mom tries to get an apartment for me... but neither venture is going well.

 

[quincy]

I have graduated from high school

I'm working on getting a job while my mom tries to get an apartment for me... but neither venture is going well.

Thanks for answering my question, B218.

As a high school graduate, you should have a good chance of finding a job that can at least cover future rent and necessities. A landlord might require a co-signer on your first time apartment lease but it sounds as if your mom might be willing to help you out here.

Your parents cannot simply “kick you out” of their house, by the way, even if they actually agree you need to leave. You have “tenant rights” so they would have to legally evict you. Usually this is not an action most parents will consider or take, and adult kids generally will leave without forcing the issue, if they have somewhere else to settle.

Are you thinking about going to college, or are you still mulling over your after-high-school options?

As a note: Tension between sons and dads isn’t uncommon, especially as sons start asserting their independence in their teens. It’s a major transition for everyone.

 

[B218]

Thanks for answering my question, B218.

As a high school graduate, you should have a good chance of finding a job that can at least cover future rent and necessities. A landlord might require a co-signer on your first time apartment lease but it sounds as if your mom might be willing to help you out here.

Your parents cannot simply “kick you out” of their house, by the way, even if they actually agree you need to leave. You have “tenant rights” so they would have to legally evict you. Usually this is not an action most parents will consider or take, and adult kids generally will leave without forcing the issue, if they have somewhere else to settle.

Are you thinking about going to college, or are you still mulling over your after-high-school options?

As a note: Tension between sons and dads isn’t uncommon, especially as sons start asserting their independence in their teens. It’s a major transition for everyone.

I'll have to look at my tenant rights, and see what I can do. Dad's been threatening this for almost a year now, before I turned 18 (and forced me out of the house at some points, forcing mom to rent a hotel room for the night for me)

I went to college for a bit from when I was 17, but it didn't work out. Sadly all the places I've talked to about a job haven't hired me yet. I was homeschooled and graduated early.

 

[quincy]

I'll have to look at my tenant rights, and see what I can do. Dad's been threatening this for almost a year now, before I turned 18 (and forced me out of the house at some points, forcing mom to rent a hotel room for the night for me)

I went to college for a bit from when I was 17, but it didn't work out. Sadly all the places I've talked to about a job haven't hired me yet. I was homeschooled and graduated early.

If this will be your first job, don’t set your sights too high. Fast food restaurants, for example , have been starting jobs for many successful adults. Billionaire Jeff Bezos worked the grill at McDonald’s, Lin-Manuel Miranda worked at McDonald’s, Pharrell worked at McDonald’s (although he was also fired 3 times from McDonald’s ) - and both Barrack Obama and Julia Roberts scooped ice cream at Baskin-Robbins.

The main thing is to get any job and do it well (or, as in Pharrell’s case, well enough to gather inspiration for songs).

Good luck.

 

[adjusterjack]

My first job as a teenager was as an assistant janitor in an apartment building.

And look where I am today.

Uh, no, don't use me as an example after all.

 

[cbg]

Mine was taking tickets at the local swim club.

 

[LdiJ]

Mine was taking tickets at the local swim club.

I was a counter girl at a pizza parlor

 

[commentator]

In reality it will be very difficult for this young person to find a job, any job, that pays them enough to have their own place unless they have roommates to help them. They also need transportation of their own, and most low level jobs just do not pay enough or give you enough hours to manage this easily. Have you considered entering the military services? With no familial support sometimes that's a good option.

It sounds as though your father has come up with a favorite phrase, "I'll throw you out!" and he says it a lot. It also sounds like your parents are battling each other through you and about you. This is absolutely no fun. Since you have a ways to go, and it appears, the anticipation of very little familial support in the future, you really need to lie low and not cause a lot of problems until you have secured some back up. You need, for example, friends who will help you find temporary lodgings, transportation, and enough money to get into a place of your own.

Continuing on with a day to day "I'll throw you out of my house!" and "This is my house too, and you can't throw him out!" and "Here's money to go to a hotel" is a really poor place to spend your 18th year. I hope you can get yourself established and independent soon. You have a high school diploma and hopefully a clean criminal record, maybe something will come up for you soon and you can start serious plannning for the rest of your life.

 

[quincy]

In reality it will be very difficult for this young person to find a job, any job, that pays them enough to have their own place unless they have roommates to help them. They also need transportation of their own, and most low level jobs just do not pay enough or give you enough hours to manage this easily. …

The specific area in Illinois where B218 lives of course will make a difference in rental costs but studio and one-bedroom apartments can be found for as low as $700/month. And starting wages for fast food workers have increased substantially recently, with pay between $18 to $23 per hour.

In other words, fast food jobs are not (necessarily) the $7.25/hour jobs of the past.

That said, having a roommate can help to cut costs and living where public transportation is available or walking and biking is possible is another way to cut costs.

 

[commentator]

I hope this is true of where the OP lives, but the parts of that state I am familiar with, and in my state that I am familiar with it would be very tough to find something for $700 a month. And while $23 an hour may sound tremendous to us, as opposed to $7.25, the cost of things is pretty ridiculous to my old ears as well. The employers also very much tend to give fewer hours to accomodate the higher wages,. Almost no one gets enough hours to require the employer to provide health insurance. The idea of walking to work or bicycling in an Illinois winter is hard. Cost of vehicle insurance for an 18 year old is huge.

I have watched my young ones struggle enough in the current times to see that becoming completely financially independent is not an easy thing these days. I see parents who are helping more and more in a very different economic structure than they grew up with. If a young person has zero financial support from anyone, they need friends, or a structured support system such as the military. Sometimes people who have been home schooled are sheltered and do not have a lot of friends or adult mentors who are able to help them.

I'm personalizing this a bit because I grew up with a parent who liked to threaten me this way, and I did step out on my own quickly, but it was lots easier then from what I see. In our state we have had the habit of dumping foster care children out completely on their own at eighteen, and that has been shown to go very badly in almost all cases. To the point the system is now making at least a passing effort to keep giving them support and counseling for a little while after they age out of the system. I hope this OP does find this sort of help somewhere.