Can I cancel immigrant visa petition without divorce?

[not2cleverRed]

She WILL. Shes already threatened me with that and she even called the cops on me once saying I grabbed her during an argument and when they got here they even told me that they knew it was a lie etc (no marks and fyi I would never put my hands on any women, specially in this situation)

Edit; Child support sucks but thats the least of my worries. Also, I dont think I would be able to get her for fraud.. Cuz we did have a normal relationship before marriage. But ever since we filed the petition its almost as if she hates me

Why would child support suck, if it's your child that you're supporting?

 

[Proserpina]

lil bro psycho sister what do you mean? I'm confused. and i'm not trying to get her for fraud. and no i didnt have a part to do with it. We were supposed to give the I-184 to our sponsor to sign. But instead, her mom signed it and actually went alone without my wife or I and handed it in to our lawyers office.

I dont want her in jail either. I just wanted to know if I can withdraw the petition right now while remaining married or not. Cuz I really dont have money for a divorce this moment. Im realizing I'm pretty screwed and will probably have to wait it out until I do have the money and just divorce.

Scram, what is your absolute end goal here? There's a bit of carousel-riding going on here, and I think that's been lost in translation. So to speak.

Do you want Mom to be deported? what's your goal?

 

[Scram716]

Why would child support suck, if it's your child that you're supporting?

That was a general statement I was making It sucks to be in that predicament period. But for me I dont care. I love my son and will support him forever no matter what.

 

[Proserpina]

That was a general statement I was making It sucks to be in that predicament period. But for me I dont care. I love my son and will support him forever no matter what.

It's in HIS best interest to have regular access to both of his parents.

 

[STEPHAN]

I love my son

One day you will have to explain to him what you did to his mother ...

I am sure you have as much to do with this situation as she has.


Greatness means to not pay back when you have the chance to do so and love people despite anything.

 

[Scram716]

I don't think the OP got married just to get her papers. I think she got married legitimately, but in haste, and is simply waiting to divorce until the paperwork goes through.

Exactly ^^^^^

I feel like she is just waiting to get her paperwork done so she can divorce me.

My end goal -- to get divorced. I dont want my son to grow in a household seeing mom and dad fight all the time. I've already tried all I can and she refuses to go to therapy. Im tired of her using my son as a weapon against me. Ever since we got married she's changed so much. I wanted to get her papers for her to help her out originally because I loved her and I also wanted us to grow together and be able to travel together, etc. Now we have a kid together and I got an apartment for all of us and its just worse. Fights every single day about small crap and she disrespects me so much. I need to get divorced, but Its going to be another few months before I have the money to do so. Cancelling the petition should be free right? So I wanted to cancel the petition in the meantime until then. I dont want to be used for paperwork. Which is somethin I shouldve realized along time ago when she didnt even want to move in with me, and when she didnt let me see my son for his first two weeks of life. And btw, I dont drink, I dont go out, I dont smoke, I dont cheat. I work and I come home and take care of my son with my wife. I clean, I cook, everything. She cooks once a week maybe and when we fight she just cooks for herself and usually just leaves the house with my son to her moms house (Because she knows that when I cant spend time with my son it hurts me the most.) I feel like I deserve more. And my son does too. And she does too but I dont want her to get her papers anymore. I want to see if I can withdraw the petition, and file for divorce later on.

 

[Scram716]

One day you will have to explain to him what you did to his mother ...

I am sure you have as much to do with this situation as she has.


Greatness means to not pay back when you have the chance to do so and love people despite anything.

I never thought about having to explain it to my son. Yeah that would be a tough one. So I should just stay with her and get her her papers and allow her to just use him against me every opportunity she can?

Im no saint. But honestly I havent really done any bad? I work and love her and I've gotten everything she wanted for our apartment. I dont even go out!! My focus is our family. But I'm telling you, she just doesn't love me like she used to. Everything is a fight. She wants to control everything and not even let me have a word. I pay all the bills but I cant even spend time with my son and my family? And everytime we fight she will take my clothes and throw it in the trash, or threaten me to break the flatscreen TV in our house that I paid 1500 for. Or better yet, two months ago we got into an argument and she ripped up my work clothes and bleached it and I didnt find out until I was getting ready for work! Now is that a household my son should be raised in? NO. I want to divorce and fight for custody.

 

[Proserpina]

Exactly ^^^^^

I feel like she is just waiting to get her paperwork done so she can divorce me.

What are you so scared of?

My end goal -- to get divorced. I dont want my son to grow in a household seeing mom and dad fight all the time. I've already tried all I can and she refuses to go to therapy. Im tired of her using my son as a weapon against me. Ever since we got married she's changed so much. I wanted to get her papers for her to help her out originally because I loved her and I also wanted us to grow together and be able to travel together, etc. Now we have a kid together and I got an apartment for all of us and its just worse. Fights every single day about small crap and she disrespects me so much. I need to get divorced, but Its going to be another few months before I have the money to do so. Cancelling the petition should be free right? So I wanted to cancel the petition in the meantime until then. I dont want to be used for paperwork.

And there we have it. She doesn't want you any more, so you want to cancel the immigration paperwork. That's lovely. Awesome way of punishing your son.

Which is somethin I shouldve realized along time ago when she didnt even want to move in with me, and when she didnt let me see my son for his first two weeks of life. And btw, I dont drink, I dont go out, I dont smoke, I dont cheat. I work and I come home and take care of my son with my wife. I clean, I cook, everything. She cooks once a week maybe and when we fight she just cooks for herself and usually just leaves the house with my son to her moms house (Because she knows that when I cant spend time with my son it hurts me the most.) I feel like I deserve more. And my son does too. And she does too but I dont want her to get her papers anymore. I want to see if I can withdraw the petition, and file for divorce later on.

You're behaving like a 4 year old who had his toy taken away. I was obviously right in my initial observation.

I never thought about having to explain it to my son. Yeah that would be a tough one. So I should just stay with her and get her her papers and allow her to just use him against me every opportunity she can?

You do understand that she may be able to move out of the country with your son ... right?

Im no saint. But honestly I havent really done any bad? I work and love her and I've gotten everything she wanted for our apartment. I dont even go out!! My focus is our family. But I'm telling you, she just doesn't love me like she used to. Everything is a fight. She wants to control everything and not even let me have a word. I pay all the bills but I cant even spend time with my son and my family? And everytime we fight she will take my clothes and throw it in the trash, or threaten me to break the flatscreen TV in our house that I paid 1500 for. Or better yet, two months ago we got into an argument and she ripped up my work clothes and bleached it and I didnt find out until I was getting ready for work! Now is that a household my son should be raised in? NO. I want to divorce and fight for custody.

I'm astonished that you'd actually type all of that. Don't you understand how that makes you look? You're presenting yourself as a spoiled little boy who is so mad and so bitter that hurting that little boy is just collateral damage and to hell with it.

Grow up, the both of you.

 

[Scram716]

What are you so scared of?



And there we have it. She doesn't want you any more, so you want to cancel the immigration paperwork. That's lovely. Awesome way of punishing your son.



You're behaving like a 4 year old who had his toy taken away. I was obviously right in my initial observation.





You do understand that she may be able to move out of the country with your son ... right?



I'm astonished that you'd actually type all of that. Don't you understand how that makes you look? You're presenting yourself as a spoiled little boy who is so mad and so bitter that hurting that little boy is just collateral damage and to hell with it.

Grow up, the both of you.

Ok. *grows up*

And yeah she MAY be able to take him but where to Venezuela? I dont think that would be in the best interest of my son thats a US Citizen

 

[Proserpina]

Ok. *grows up*

And yeah she MAY be able to take him but where to Venezuela? I dont think that would be in the best interest of my son thats a US Citizen

You certainly don't get to make that decision.

Your child has TWO parents. You ought to remember that.

 

[Scram716]

You certainly don't get to make that decision.

Your child has TWO parents. You ought to remember that.

I know that. You just dont get it . Youre just telling me to grow up when I came here for help. You say I demonize her and I look like a kid when in reality Im dealing w alot of BS, Today she quit her job and told me shes gonna try to make it impossible for me to see my son even if it means hitting herself and telling the cops I did it. IDK what to do anymore.

You say youre astonished that I type all this stuff but Im just being honest about everything. And remember... Yes I am young. Im 24 and shes 20.

 

[t74]

OP, you should not be alone with her lest she claim domestic violence. If she is damaging property, you need to be afraid for both yourself and your child. You need to obtain custody of your child and get sole possession of your apartment. She can move in with her mother. If someone can become so violent as to damage your personal possessions, she could also hurt a child. If she becomes violent, call the police immediately.

Contact legal aid in your area since you are not now able to afford an attorney; your local bar association may be able to refer you to attorneys who will take payments.

Others have cautioned that she may take the child to her home country. In as much as her mother lives in the US, I do not consider that to be a significant issue to worry about given the violence occurring in the house.

YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED TO BE AWAY FROM HER given the possibility of domestic violence.

 

[Scram716]

OP, you should not be alone with her lest she claim domestic violence. If she is damaging property, you need to be afraid for both yourself and your child. You need to obtain custody of your child and get sole possession of your apartment. She can move in with her mother. If someone can become so violent as to damage your personal possessions, she could also hurt a child. If she becomes violent, call the police immediately.

Contact legal aid in your area since you are not now able to afford an attorney; your local bar association may be able to refer you to attorneys who will take payments.

Others have cautioned that she may take the child to her home country. In as much as her mother lives in the US, I do not consider that to be a significant issue to worry about given the violence occurring in the house.

YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED TO BE AWAY FROM HER given the possibility of domestic violence.

Thanks t74,
I thought of buying a hidden tape recorder can I do that? I want to catch her saying that she will lie to the police about me hitting her. She says it all the time . Does verbal abuse help too? Today she told me she hopes my dad dies soon ( we just found out that he is terminally ill) and that she prays everyday that I die too. And for some reason she threw my mom, brother, sisters and nephews. My plan is to gather enough evidence and then divorce. How can I stay away? I been spending more time lately with my dad and family that came down to see my dad and shes now saying Im never home and that thats child abandonment...(Yet I pay all the rent and bills) is this true? What do you suggest so I can get custody too? I heard Florida its very hard to get custody from the mom.

 

[t74]

You need to see if you can record without her permission in your state. Doing so if her permission is required without obtaining it is a problem.

There is no way to predict 100% how a custody ruling would turn out. An attorney practicing in your courts is the best source of information.

IMO, getting out of your volatile relationship should be your first priority even if the court decides your child should remain with your wife. You are better able to protect you child if you have visitation if that is what is ordered rather than if you are in jail on a domestic violence charge. If at any time you feel your child is in danger, there are state agencies (child services, police, etc.) that can intervene. Do not permit your MIL to be your child's day care provider if one is used; these people are mandated reporters and will be alert to abuse and are required to notify authorities when it is noted.

I would expect that there is a domestic violence agency in your area. Men can be victims as well as abusers. Check with them on your options. If they tell you that they cannot assist you because of your gender, do not give up; find another source of help. Your employer may have an employee assistance referral program; make an appointment if they do.

While it may be possible to obtain a divorce without an attorney, your situation is critical given the potential for violence, and you cannot risk making a mistake. One option that may be open to you now that universities are returning to class is the legal clinic at your nearby law school.

Do not sign anything prepared on your wife's behalf without having an attorney review it.

My suggestions are practical rather than legal; there are many on this forum who are better able to give you strictly legal advice. My concern is the safety of you all while you sort through the legal issues.

 

[Scram716]

Update on whats going on
This morning she threatened me again saying she would call the cops and say i hit her . i left to my moms house (she lives in our complex) and i called the cops and told them. They came and spoke to both of us . Funny because she lied to the police and said i am never home to take care of him but anyway they told me to just stay away from her for a little and that if i go home later and she threatens me again to just leave the house again and stay away. And that i did the right thing today by calling the police