Can I get alimony for life?

[JuJu3858]

What is the name of your state?
I am from Pennsylvania.
I have these illnesses....colitis where I can spend up to 8 hours in and out of the bathroom making it impossible to promise any employer that I would be at work every day that I am scheduled........I have nerve damage to both arms and doing repetitive work makes them go numb......I have depression, OCD and panic disorder...which tonight had me calling my husband and freaking on the phone.....I have too many compulsions to list here plus any time I talk to my lawyer or get a letter about the divorce I freak and go into an OCD attack...I can't see how I could work and support myself ...who would hire me? Do I have a chance at alimony for life?

 

[nextwife]

How long have you been married? And out of the work force?

FYI- I have a good friend with severe panic disorder, she got her RE appraisal license and does fee appraisal work. Nothing you've stated precludes you being able to get some rehabilitative alimony and doing something like that (notetaking can be via microrecorder and voice recognition software) Nor was she tied to a desk or in an office, she researched her appraisals from her home PC.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

And were the conditions pre-existing the marriage?

 

[nextwife]

And were the conditions pre-existing the marriage?

Right, that too.

 

[JuJu3858]

Answer to questions

Pennsylvania

We have been married for 19 1/2 years.....I hurt my one arm before we were married they other one after....I got colitis after the birth of our only child...due to a very hard labor.....I had no idea that I had OCD until the day my husband said divorce....I have been in a mental hospital twice so far....I have contamination issues which prevent me from cleaning anything that my OCD says will make me contaminated. I have checking compulsions that take up time....I can't fill out a form unless someone tells me that it is right. I had to ask my lawyer if the check I first gave him was written right...if I make out a check put it in the envolpe to be mailed have to open it back up to check to see if it is right..I can't drive in any big city....I can't even help teach my daughter how to drive...I can't drive in the snow...I cannot go back to school due to the fact that I can't retain things that I read I must go back and reread things over and over... I won a settlement from the place I worked for the damage to my arms ...this was signed with the given that I had a husband that would take care of me. I stayed home and took care of our mentally ill daughter...sometimes I slept on a baby crib mattress on the floor in her room because she could not sleep in the room by herself....while I took care of our daughter my husband went and did what he wanted whenever he wanted to sleeping with whomever he wanted to sleep with....I have not worked in over 16 years....some days I can't leave the house because if I have one pain in my colon OCD says that I will be sick and not make it back home....I get intrusive thoughts...like seeing myself cutting my hand off with a butcher knife...beating up my husband misstress with a bat...jumping out the upstairs window.....I have a skin picking compulsion I pick at my skin sometimes without knowing until I see the blood on my hands...doing research would be the death of me....I have the need to find things..and when I have a hobby like I do with the sims I have to find and download everything....I now have over 6 cds with just sim stuff on them the sims take up over 20 GB of my hard drive and when I am done here I will be back downloading more....I have collecting compulsions I have over 200 rings...I can't tell you all that OCD has me do...it is very hard to explain it to people.

 

[stealth2]

It's entirely possible that you'll be awarded alimony.

How old is your daughter?

 

[nextwife]

And if you are that unable to function, it sure sounds like the child might be better off with Dad.

 

[stealth2]

That was my thought - it is entirely likely that Dad will end up with custody.

 

[JuJu3858]

daughter

Pennsylvania

Our daughter is 17 her dad did not fight me to get her she was 14 when he left 16 when he filed for the divorce after he had a baby with his girlfriend. He lives with this woman and now seems more concerned about her children (she is still married and has 2 children from her husband) then his first child. Before my husband moved in with his girlfriend our daughter would not stay at his place unless someone else stayed too she told me that her father gives her the creeps. The one time she did stay there without anyone else being there she locked the door on him. She has told me that he has not done anything to her, this could be some form of her OCD for she has told me that she is afraid of men. Our daughter has OCD and depression too she has a lot of the same compulsions that I have therefore I understand what she goes through. She can take meds I am the 1% of people that get all the side effects and I am still trying to find one that works for me. I am not a violent person having been abused as a child I vowed never to be like that. I hate the intrusives thoughts that I get. My daughter gets them too. People with OCD do not like to hurt others. I know that these are thoughts brought on by OCD and I have never done any of them. My husband mentally abused both of us. I was not allowed to show any emotions in front of our daughter, yet he will call her up crying saying he is sorry for whatever. He is a compulsive lair and has broken so many promises that he made to our daughter. The one that has hurt her that most is that we had to move out of the house and sell it. He had promised her that she could stay there until she was out of high school. He lied about his girlfriend telling our daughter that she was not the same woman that he cheated on me with that she just had the same name. Our daughter was not very happy when she found out that he lied once again. She will not live with this woman she calls her a garden tool (as in hoe) Sorry just makes me mad to think about all my husband had done that has hurt our daughter.

 

[Whyte Noise]

Have you applied for SSI?

Since you've been out of the workforce for 16 years and have had no income of your own, you wouldn't qualify for SSDI as you have to have a certain amount of quarters of "coverage" in the last 10 years (which generally translates to having worked 5 out of the last 10 years). You haven't worked in 16, so that puts you out of the 10 year time frame for SSDI.

If you haven't applied already, you may want to look into doing that.

(Just throwing out another option, besides depending totally on alimony.)

 

[JuJu3858]

Ssi

PA
Yes I did for both me and my daughter we both get more right now from my husband then SSI would give us. As long as you get more then the $581 they give out a month you cannot get the SSI. The lady told me that if in the future I get less money to call back and reapply. Right now all my daughter and I could get is section 8 housing.