Can I stay in rental while getting divorce?

[Theresalee]

California
Is there anyway to remove your spouse out of the home while going through a divorce? Or do we just have to wait for the judge to order who goes where? I would like to stay in this rental with my 17 year old daughter who wants to live with me and continues school close to here while I have to attend many Doctors and some court appearences for work comp case, the only place I could go is 2 hours away.
There is just to much fighting in front of the kids and I'm afraid it could turn to violence... It hasn't yet or I would get the cops to remove him. Is there a way for temporary orders? Like when It's done for support? He has hit me and choked me a long time ago but not in years, but I sure don't want it back again either and I'm afraid this could set him off again?
I plan on seeing attorney this coming week. Thank You again!!!!!

 

[nextwife]

Whomever is on the lease has legal rights AND obligations in accordance with their lease terms. Only a judge can order him out, if you are both on the lease you have no greater or lesser right to remain..

 

[Theresalee]

Retirement

Thank You, We are both on the lease.

 

[Theresalee]

about judge orders?

OK say a judge says my spouse or soon to be ex is responsible for the debts and I trade it for the retirment. Since the creditors are not a part of the case, what can or should I do to protect myself if this is ordered by the judge? Is their another form? Or anyway this can be taken care of and made sure it's followed? If he doesn't pay them and they come after me then i get his retirement b/c they re not a pat of the divorce either right?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Just wait until you meet with your attorney next week. In the mean time determine which bills are his and which bills are joint. Don't give him anything. Print out the DV100 forms in case you have to file for a DV restraining order, that will remove him from the house. This can be done by the police if this happens on a weekend, be sure to have the letters from your doctor stating that you are disabled ready for each and every one of your court petitions, remember DV in more than physical. Carry copy of the letter in your purse, otherwise the police may delay enforcing a restraining order while confirming your disability.

 

[LdiJ]

OK say a judge says my spouse or soon to be ex is responsible for the debts and I trade it for the retirment. Since the creditors are not a part of the case, what can or should I do to protect myself if this is ordered by the judge? Is their another form? Or anyway this can be taken care of and made sure it's followed? If he doesn't pay them and they come after me then i get his retirement b/c they re not a pat of the divorce either right?

You could have language written into the agreement that states that if he does not pay the bills or files bankruptcy against the bills, then the retirement fund would be divided between the two of you. That would be the safest way to ensure that he pays them.

If he doesn't pay the bills or files bankruptcy, then you will have no choice but to do so also....because you won't have the means to pay them and your credit will be trashed.

 

[Theresalee]

Not sure why I didn't think of that? So I should get this DV restraining order in case it happens on the weekend? guess i should ask anattorney about this? O.K I have to be more honest or give more info on this, He use to beat the crp out of me years go but!! I know this is not the way to go about it but I went after him with a frying pn and I have done things to him, nothing like the choking I got or the kicking in the crotch while pregnmt either but I was the stupid one to stay!! The other night he stole my purse with my keys and credit crds etc.. he doesn't know this but i hd a copy made and hidden else where... O>k How do I tell if I am responsible verses named on the bilss? meaning we have always used mostly his income to get what we wanted nd he is the main person on them but when the bill comes in the mail his and my name is on it? Also with the truck the loan was in both our name but he was always the holder the problem is we paid the loan to the bank off then he got nother lon against it for my son to go =to school. so this compny holds the title. I do believe his name is the only one on the registration though. Should i just call them all and ask? Wjhat do i ask?
I know it's a bad ide to try and say what a judge might order, I am temp disabled and have been for 4 years , I did file for Social security and it ws denyied but my attorney said that was pretty normal and we would file again.. I was told my chances for life time allimony are good nd with this info I was hoping to get his butt out and to tke the bills too!!! Other then that it will be for 10 years, I guess we wont know which.. He wants to go talk to an attorney together not to settle but to see what could happen or what we could ask for. also he has NO idea i can ask for the future raise that has been due to his department for years and it is a couple thousand month.. I'm afraid of what will happen when he finds out when I go see someone so thts why I m holding off until I find out some other stuff. Sorry for the ramble but i wanted to mke sure I gave you all the info, (stupid stuff too)... Hope I ws clear enough? If not let me know? Theres

 

[rmet4nzkx]

See your attorney first, don't let him go with you, you have to keep him from controlling your life. Smart move making copies, taking your purse is a form of abuse. And we are expecitng this man to save people's lives?

File for reconcideration on the social security disability claim.

 

[Theresalee]

OK I will, I m going to try an see an attorney today as he kicked me out lst night... He got md b/c I asked for the vehicle when his job provides him one? If it is sold we still have a note to pay on it then all thats left is a grnd a piece and Im suppose to buy a car with that? He is turning my son againstme b/c I want my own ttorney, I can only hpe he understands lter in life? Ths is getting very nasty?
Do you know if a judge considers credit card debt of ours against my spousal support? or is it just a case by case basis? Im asking now even though I plan on asking an attorney but in case I don't get in today i would like to know anyway if you do know... I am calling n attorney right away, I have had enough of this abuse and contro!!! Thank you for all your help.

 

[LdiJ]

OK I will, I m going to try an see an attorney today as he kicked me out lst night... He got md b/c I asked for the vehicle when his job provides him one? If it is sold we still have a note to pay on it then all thats left is a grnd a piece and Im suppose to buy a car with that? He is turning my son againstme b/c I want my own ttorney, I can only hpe he understands lter in life? Ths is getting very nasty?
Do you know if a judge considers credit card debt of ours against my spousal support? or is it just a case by case basis? Im asking now even though I plan on asking an attorney but in case I don't get in today i would like to know anyway if you do know... I am calling n attorney right away, I have had enough of this abuse and contro!!! Thank you for all your help.

If you are on the lease he cannot kick you out. You go right back and refuse to leave until you are ordered to do so by a judge.

 

[Theresalee]

I went to an attorney and she said the sme as you about leaving etc... but she couldn't take me without retainer, which of course i do not have but I can go to the facilitaters office and have them start the paperwork then they can get a kick out order, then they can give her the case to fight? She said it was hard to get them to just pay the attorney like that? Also should I keep calling around for an attorney to take me with out a retainer and charge him or should I mke the long wait with the facilitators office? I would love to have this lady she appeared to be a fighter too!! But if I don't have any $ then I don't... I do however have my disability to show as the reason why I am not and can not work right now, hopefully that will help? I haven't left b/c it would be cheaper for me and my daughter to live here period, I am only afraid of what will come of all the fighting? But I will do my best to keep my mouth shut... He hasn't hit me for a while so maybe I have nothing to worry about? Thanks...

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I'm sorry I missed this, I was out today.
Call the police, perhaps you can get an emergency order.
Go to the court house tomorrow morning.

Check the hours, Go to the DA's office, they will help you File for a DV restraining order because your ablebodied husband with a history of abuse is abusing his disabled wife. He stole your purse and access kicked you out. Did you have your other records in a safe place? Are you able to get back in the house? Has he changed the locks?

 

[Theresalee]

Things have changed just a bit...I was going to leave b/c the town we live in is small and he has to live in the district he works in so I figured I would leave, then I thought no the rent is cheap and my daughter lives with me so we will stay here.. I have a feeling the judge will have us leave b/c it is true he needs to live in this small area and since I wont have a vehicle I should probably live closer to were I can find job when that time comes and if it comes? I m on temp disibility but since this has drug on for 4 years they stopped paying b/c they say I have received the amount they feel I should have gotten for this injury? I do still go to my Dr's every month and they pay for it.. As for the truck he says he will sale it and get the 2 thousand equity in it and buy me a used car with my share, I am not sure if my name is even on the registration? I don't think it is?. If I try to take this house he has said he will charge me with hitting him and beat me to it? B/c when I use to get hit, kicked, choked etc...I finally grabbed a pan and went after him in self defence so my reaction is to be on the defensive, he hasn't hurt me like that in some time but he does do the things as discribed earlier takes my wallet, purse and keys,... I am afraid he will turn around and charge me with hitting him now?
This is what he wants and I'm tempted to do it? We have already split furniture etc... he wants our daughter but will go with her decition and she wants to live with me which he put a major guilt trip on her last night saying he cant afford it b/c he has bills!! So she asks me not to take this house and lets move? Of course a 17 yr old isn't going to make those types of desitions for me but she loves him and felt sorry,, I tried to expalain bancruptcy to her but he says it is something he just wont do and he will own a home some day? Anyway he says he can't afford to pay the 200.00 car payment monthly for me to keep it, so he has to sell the truck, Keep the house, keep the retiremnet and keep the bills? I do believe the retiremnet and bills are matched pretty good dollar for dollar but need to ck further.
I don't even care if I have to move any more b/c I wont have a car anyway from this remote town. So with all this said should I go to the affilliators office , give him what is said as in our list to seperate items, bill greement and have something wrote up tht he will have to give up half if he doen't pay his bills, Tell him I would like the vehicle < thats one thing I do need... He said he would pay for health coverge for me and my daughter. Then he said have them come up with the disomasters results for child support and spousal. What do you think? Should I make an appt or go down and request what we want now? Since I cannot find one lawer to take me without retainer? Please can anyone answer this for me? When you put down your debts and they do the disomaster do they consider credit card debt as necessity? s in taking awy from spousal support so he can pay those? I would think it would be yes for rent , car , gas and lights but credit cards? He says absolutely and I wont accept the offer of him taking the bils on for retiremnet then... Can anyone please answer that one? He has also said if he ends up working for nothing and paying me to much he will quit his job.. but I know he wont..... It is his life... I have no money and he is now trying to turn my kids against me thinking I m trying to get everything? Im only trying to work something out so I can be free for once in my life..... Thank you and I hope I mde some sence here?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Have you done the other things yet? It is ver important that you know who owes for what bills when you were not married and that you don't pay for his debt or lose your entitlement to your half of his retirement.
Call the police make your reports of his physical and mental abuse, then go to the DA's office, don't allow him to kick you out or take away your car, he can find a place to live. Don't let him threaten you. Get a DV Restraining order, then go to the family law facilitators office and file for divorce, custody, child and spousal support. Why should you go without so that he can someday get a house, he will never get a house unless after you are divorced he latches onto someone with a house already. Where are you now, at home? Have you called the DV hotline?

 

[Theresalee]

I called the facilitators office in my county and they couldn't see me until August!!!! As far as the bills He is listed on all but 2 debts as primary, I am listed as a card holder since I did all the shopping and purchases for the family..He doesn't want to claim bank ruptcy at all, He doesn't want bad credit, thts one reson he wants the debt? I stayed home nd rised 5 kids nd was stupid enough to listen to him!!!! I can't believe I can't get help but hey they don't work for free... Just don't know wht to do for now!!! I think I really just wnt to leve with my daughter and find something cheaper....Only I have to get the money from him LOL!!! I need to make money but my Dr said NO, so my daughter strts new job nd she wants to help!! How awful is that??