can the mother do this?

[l_x]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

The mother would make plans for my son on my weekends and tell him, and when I go and pick him up, he doesnt want to come with me. He want to stay with her and when I refuse, she will tell him to ask me if he can stay with her. He is five. When I refuse and take him with me anyway, he gets very mad at me and tells me that he doesnt like me. It's happened many times and I have told her not to make plans for him but she sitll does.

Is there anything I can do to make her stop doing this?

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

The mother would make plans for my son on my weekends and tell him, and when I go and pick him up, he doesnt want to come with me. He want to stay with her and when I refuse, she will tell him to ask me if he can stay with her. He is five. When I refuse and take him with me anyway, he gets very mad at me and tells me that he doesnt like me. It's happened many times and I have told her not to make plans for him but she sitll does.

Is there anything I can do to make her stop doing this?

Is this court ordered visitation?

 

[l_x]

Yes, it is court-ordered. I get my son thrusday-sunday at 5pm.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Yes, it is court-ordered. I get my son thrusday-sunday at 5pm.

As you already seem to know a child does not get to decide if he goes or not. Not until he is 18 at least. I would definetly bring this up the next time you are in court. Mom is very much so trying to alienate the child from you. Any chance you could slip a tape recorder in your pocket the next time you pick your child up so you have it on tape that she is doing this?

 

[l_x]

I dont think its legal to record her without her persmission. I'm not sure though.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

I dont think its legal to record her without her persmission. I'm not sure though.

From what I read if the exchange was in public then it would be ok but I could be reading it wrong. I would try bringing a witness with you during pick up. One of two things could happen, she could be calm because she doesn't want to look like a fool in front of the other person OR that person could witness her acting like a crazy lady and you could use them as a witness if need be.

 

[CJane]

The short answer is, no there's no way you can make her stop.

Sure, a judge can tell her to stop it, but I can virtually guarantee her behavior will not change.

You have kiddo EVERY Thursday-Sunday?

 

[Proserpina]

Of course if Mom leaves a message on an answering machine or voicemail these are - generally - not considered to be illegally obtained recordings and you could absolutely try to use these during a custody hearing (whether or not a Judge would deem them admissible is another question).

 

[l_x]

The short answer is, no there's no way you can make her stop.

Sure, a judge can tell her to stop it, but I can virtually guarantee her behavior will not change.

You have kiddo EVERY Thursday-Sunday?

No..every other thursday-sunday. I have told her before that if she have plans for him on my weekend, we can switch weekends if she talk to me first and not wait until I pick him up and have him ask me if he can stay with her. It hurts me when my son tells me that he doesnt like me because I make him go with me.

 

[CJane]

From what I read if the exchange was in public then it would be ok but I could be reading it wrong. I would try bringing a witness with you during pick up. One of two things could happen, she could be calm because she doesn't want to look like a fool in front of the other person OR that person could witness her acting like a crazy lady and you could use them as a witness if need be.

Ummm... he never said Mom is acting like a crazy person.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Ummm... he never said Mom is acting like a crazy person.

I was speaking about making child upset by making plans on dads day and basically trying to make dad out to be the evil man. To me that is crazy parenting. Making a child upset on purpose with the only reason being to hurt dad ect.. But I can see how what I said made it seem like more.

 

[l_x]

So I can't do anything about it. When I talk to her, all she said to me is that he would rather stay with her than me because she take more care of him. That is true because I only get him every other thurs-sunday but what she's doing is hurting my relationship with my son.

 

[mmmagique]

Yes, write down all the dates that this has happened and take her back to court for contempt.

 

[LdiJ]

No..every other thursday-sunday. I have told her before that if she have plans for him on my weekend, we can switch weekends if she talk to me first and not wait until I pick him up and have him ask me if he can stay with her. It hurts me when my son tells me that he doesnt like me because I make him go with me.

Dad, my almost 4 year old granddaughter tells me that she doesn't like me every time that she gets in trouble with me. I know that she loves me and that's just part of dealing with a child.

That does not discount the fact that mom is being a jerk for making plans on your time...but don't let the "I don't like you" hurt you.

 

[gatorfan1]

I agree with LDiJ, Dad. Kids will say things like that from time to time. My 7 year old daughter just the other day told my wife that "she is not a good mommy" and "she (my wife) doesn't care about her" all because my wife didn't take our daughter to the grocery store with her. Yes, it sucks but try to remember they are kids and show them the attention and love they need. Also, try planning some fun father/son things on your time. And document everything mom says/does. Documentation is a big help in court.