Cell phone issues

[tornado88]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

I have 2 daughters now aged 11 & 9. I have full physical and legal custody with their father having EOWE, alternate holidays, and 14 days of summer vacation. He lives about 2 hours away from us at this time.

My issue now is with cell phone problems. Since school has let out for the summer, I have been allowing my 11 1/2 year old daughter to stay home alone during the day , from about 8-4 with my husband going home for lunch as well to check on her. I take the 9 yo and their 3 yo step sister to the babysitter. Our home is just 3 blocks from my parents home so my oldest is close to help if she needs it.

To also help with safety I got her a cell phone. I added their dad's number as well as the parental grandparents. He knew they were getting the phone and started calling them the same night he dropped them off. During the first week he averaged 6 calls a day not counting the text messages as well. The seecond week was more of the same. He is running up the minutes used so fast that their alloted minutes was used in 2 weeks time. I have since blocked his number as well as the grandparents as he switched to using their phone.

He can still contact them at any time using my number as he has been able to since our divorce 8 years ago. He is now threatening me with lawsuits because I refuse to allow him access to the girls' phone. I tried to explain to explain to him he was using all of their minutes, that he was effectively ruining the main reason I got them the phone in the first place because their minutes are now used up for the month, and to limit calls to one call a day unless there is an emergancy and we wouldn't have any problems. He again told me I was trying to restrict his access to the girls. I then asked him to help pay for more minutes on the phone plan if he was going to be using so many minutes and he refused saying he paid child support to use it for that.

At this point I believe he will be filing another issue with the courts (he sues me an average 6-8 times a year for various things, mostly trying to build a case to change custody). Can I get in trouble for blocking his number on the girls' phone when he has access to them from mine? Another option I guess would be to just get rid of the phone, but I prefer my daughter have a way to get help quickly if she would need it.

Thank you for your help

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

Does your court order say anything about the children having telephone contact with the other parent?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

I have 2 daughters now aged 11 & 9. I have full physical and legal custody with their father having EOWE, alternate holidays, and 14 days of summer vacation. He lives about 2 hours away from us at this time.

My issue now is with cell phone problems. Since school has let out for the summer, I have been allowing my 11 1/2 year old daughter to stay home alone during the day , from about 8-4 with my husband going home for lunch as well to check on her. I take the 9 yo and their 3 yo step sister to the babysitter. Our home is just 3 blocks from my parents home so my oldest is close to help if she needs it.

To also help with safety I got her a cell phone. I added their dad's number as well as the parental grandparents. He knew they were getting the phone and started calling them the same night he dropped them off. During the first week he averaged 6 calls a day not counting the text messages as well. The seecond week was more of the same. He is running up the minutes used so fast that their alloted minutes was used in 2 weeks time. I have since blocked his number as well as the grandparents as he switched to using their phone.

He can still contact them at any time using my number as he has been able to since our divorce 8 years ago. He is now threatening me with lawsuits because I refuse to allow him access to the girls' phone. I tried to explain to explain to him he was using all of their minutes, that he was effectively ruining the main reason I got them the phone in the first place because their minutes are now used up for the month, and to limit calls to one call a day unless there is an emergancy and we wouldn't have any problems. He again told me I was trying to restrict his access to the girls. I then asked him to help pay for more minutes on the phone plan if he was going to be using so many minutes and he refused saying he paid child support to use it for that.

At this point I believe he will be filing another issue with the courts (he sues me an average 6-8 times a year for various things, mostly trying to build a case to change custody). Can I get in trouble for blocking his number on the girls' phone when he has access to them from mine? Another option I guess would be to just get rid of the phone, but I prefer my daughter have a way to get help quickly if she would need it.

Thank you for your help

Is there a house phone that he can reach the child if you aren't there?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

I have 2 daughters now aged 11 & 9. I have full physical and legal custody with their father having EOWE, alternate holidays, and 14 days of summer vacation. He lives about 2 hours away from us at this time.

My issue now is with cell phone problems. Since school has let out for the summer, I have been allowing my 11 1/2 year old daughter to stay home alone during the day , from about 8-4 with my husband going home for lunch as well to check on her. I take the 9 yo and their 3 yo step sister to the babysitter. Our home is just 3 blocks from my parents home so my oldest is close to help if she needs it.

To also help with safety I got her a cell phone. I added their dad's number as well as the parental grandparents. He knew they were getting the phone and started calling them the same night he dropped them off. During the first week he averaged 6 calls a day not counting the text messages as well. The seecond week was more of the same. He is running up the minutes used so fast that their alloted minutes was used in 2 weeks time. I have since blocked his number as well as the grandparents as he switched to using their phone.

He can still contact them at any time using my number as he has been able to since our divorce 8 years ago. He is now threatening me with lawsuits because I refuse to allow him access to the girls' phone. I tried to explain to explain to him he was using all of their minutes, that he was effectively ruining the main reason I got them the phone in the first place because their minutes are now used up for the month, and to limit calls to one call a day unless there is an emergancy and we wouldn't have any problems. He again told me I was trying to restrict his access to the girls. I then asked him to help pay for more minutes on the phone plan if he was going to be using so many minutes and he refused saying he paid child support to use it for that.

At this point I believe he will be filing another issue with the courts (he sues me an average 6-8 times a year for various things, mostly trying to build a case to change custody). Can I get in trouble for blocking his number on the girls' phone when he has access to them from mine? Another option I guess would be to just get rid of the phone, but I prefer my daughter have a way to get help quickly if she would need it.

Thank you for your help

YOu shouldn't have blocked HIS number. That shows that you are interfering with his contact with HIS children. Not a smart thing. You could get in trouble for blocking his number depending on how well he presents his case and what the judge believes was the purpose for blocking his number especially if there were other alternatives. You might consider getting unlimited minutes on her phone. That would solve the problem. By blocking the grandparents' phone, you are showing that you want to limit contact with HIS family. Not a smart move and it COULD backfire. Why don't you get a landline?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

YOu shouldn't have blocked HIS number. That shows that you are interfering with his contact with HIS children. Not a smart thing. You could get in trouble for blocking his number depending on how well he presents his case and what the judge believes was the purpose for blocking his number especially if there were other alternatives. You might consider getting unlimited minutes on her phone. That would solve the problem. By blocking the grandparents' phone, you are showing that you want to limit contact with HIS family. Not a smart move and it COULD backfire. Why don't you get a landline?

But dad CAN contact the child through mom's phone. I also have my child on a limited minutes plan due to costs. If there is a landline available, then the child should learn to say, "Dad, call me back on xxx-xxx-xxxx." That is certainly what my child does when dad calls.

The courts will NOT order mom to get a separate phone for the child. The deal is that dad is ABUSING the minutes on that particular phone.

 

[single317dad]

At this point I believe he will be filing another issue with the courts

My guess is it will be something along the lines of Right of First Refusal. Leaving an 11 year old home alone for 8 hours may or may not be OK, but the issue is certainly debatable. Dad may request that if the girl is to be left home alone, he be offered that additional time.

As far as the issue of using all the minutes, simply explain to Dad that he needs to pay half the bill for your daughter's phone. Once he gets nailed with a big bill for his overusage, he'll either cut it out or balk at paying it. Or, ask Dad to get his daughter a cell phone if he wants to talk to her at will.

Of course, this all depends on what your order states.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If it goes to court, mom can request that DAD provide a phone for his exclusive use to contact the child. I held out a very long time on getting my child a phone because I KNEW that dad would then use it to avoid talking with me on issues that need to be talked about. I was very correct on that.

Rather than block the number, she CAN have the child not answer the phone EXCEPT if it is mom. Mom's paying for it.

OR, just put the child in daycare too and take the sails out of dad's wind. Depending on the court order, dad may now land up paying for daycare costs due to his games.

 

[tornado88]

No, our order does not say anything about phone contact. He has always been able to contact them through my phone. I have NEVER kept them from him. They have made the first move and called him on my phone numerous times as well. The girls know they can call him at any time.

I am not trying to limit their contact with him or his family, just trying to find a way to provide a little safety for my daughters without it costing me a small fortune in phone bills. I will look into what it will cost for a land line. That would provide the safety I'm after for her. It would also put some of the cost on dad as it will be considered a long distance call. My thinking with the cell phone was that is was going to something they would be asking for soon anyway. Trying to kill 2 birds with one stone. Instead I caused more problems.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

check out Virgin mobile ... their costs were very reasonable on phones.

 

[tornado88]

"My guess is it will be something along the lines of Right of First Refusal. Leaving an 11 year old home alone for 8 hours may or may not be OK, but the issue is certainly debatable. Dad may request that if the girl is to be left home alone, he be offered that additional time."

I doubt this will be an issue simply because he lives 2 hours away and is required to do all transportation as he was the one who moved away. She also isn't left alone for 8 straight hours as my husband goes home for lunch from 12-1 everyday. My mother is also 3 blocks away (we are in a very small town) and goes to spend time with her at times as well.

My ex refuses to pay any extra for anything unless it is court ordered he do so, as is his right. I can and have asked until Im blue in the face for extra money for babysitter and even the phone with no success.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

then when he takes you to court, ask that your legal fees be paid, and that he be ORDERED to provide a phone for the child, and that the cost of daycare be split.

 

[tornado88]

then when he takes you to court, ask that your legal fees be paid, and that he be ORDERED to provide a phone for the child, and that the cost of daycare be split.

Finally figured out how to use the quote feature, and it was so simple.

I may just do this,Tinker. I will also check out the virgin mobile.

Thank you for all the suggestions surely we can come to a solution where we are all happy.

 

[Silverplum]

Finally figured out how to use the quote feature, and it was so simple.

I may just do this,Tinker. I will also check out the virgin mobile.

Thank you for all the suggestions surely we can come to a solution where we are all happy.

FYI--I'm paying $40 for virgin mobile, unlimited calls and I think 1000 texts/month. (Also unlimited internet, which you might not want for a child. )

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

my daughter's plan is $25.00 - 300 minutes with unlimited text and internet. When my contract is up, I'm also switching, but will go to the $40.00 plan which is 1200 minutes and unlimited text/internet.

 

[CJane]

FYI--I'm paying $40 for virgin mobile, unlimited calls and I think 1000 texts/month. (Also unlimited internet, which you might not want for a child. )

I have T-Mobile. Three lines (me and two girls), unlimited texting, unlimited minutes and unlimited web for myself and oldest child. It's $140/month.

I don't think Mom would be in any legal trouble at all for blocking Dad's number. She was under no obligation to GIVE Dad that number to begin with.