child doesn't want to visit

[stealth2]

The point, confused, is that not sending either child for ordered visitation is contempt. However, the only one who can start the ball rolling is you (in re your son) or him (in re your daughter if she doesn't go). As IAAL said - it's a question of who files first. Since you've not done anything wrt your son not visiting you, a judge will see your not forcing your daughter to go as a vindictive move. It's also likely s/he will consider that you may have encouraged her to not want to go. If I were in your shoes? I would get that girl on the plane, and then file agains the ex for contempt wrt the boy.

You have an order for visitation. It is your responsibility to get the child there. Until such a time as there is a modification that says she doesn't have to go. It really is as simple as that. Barring abuse (in which case you should be calling the authorities AND filing a modification), there are no "legitimate" reasons. And even in that situation - you'd be best advised to not refuse visitation unless advised to do so by an attorney.

 

[confused45]

The point, confused, is that not sending either child for ordered visitation is contempt. However, the only one who can start the ball rolling is you (in re your son) or him (in re your daughter if she doesn't go). As IAAL said - it's a question of who files first. Since you've not done anything wrt your son not visiting you, a judge will see your not forcing your daughter to go as a vindictive move. It's also likely s/he will consider that you may have encouraged her to not want to go. If I were in your shoes? I would get that girl on the plane, and then file agains the ex for contempt wrt the boy.

You have an order for visitation. It is your responsibility to get the child there. Until such a time as there is a modification that says she doesn't have to go. It really is as simple as that. Barring abuse (in which case you should be calling the authorities AND filing a modification), there are no "legitimate" reasons. And even in that situation - you'd be best advised to not refuse visitation unless advised to do so by an attorney.

i'm thinking i might need to change my attorney. he is stating that since my oldest can make up his mind then my youngest ought to be able to do the same with no consequenses?? she is also suppose to be enrolled for summer school that starts in two weeks. i sent all of the paperwork as requested by her father but he hasn't bothered getting back with me?? it is just a total mess this year. thanks for your advice

 

[stealth2]

Yeah - I'd be looking for a new attorney like yesterday.

 

[OnlyOneVoice]

Okay here's the low down.

1. Put your daughter on the plane come hell or high water.

2. Get thee to a lawyer and file for contempt of custody orders and visitation.

3. No one will do this for you. If you don't persue it with a lawyer things will continue as they are even though your ex is already in contempt of an order of custody and support.

File your show cause petition and demand that your son be either returned or the order modified so that your visitation can be enforced.

you may run in to some trouble because you didn't persue with diligence the return of your son, but follow through.

Tell your daughter she doesn't have a choice and if she doesn't go her dad can and probably will have you put in jail for contempt.

It's that clear cut.

 

[ellencee]

Isn't it strange that parents don't post looking for advice on how to get kids out of doing things they don't want to do like cleaning their rooms, studying, going to Aunt B's on Sunday afternoon, etc.?

Seems parents are only concerned when the kids don't want to vist Mom or Dad.

 

[hexeliebe]

That's exactly why I would do the Solomon solution...cut the kid in half then there's no argument.

Oh well, maybe someday parents will grow up along with their kids. Maybe

 

[ellencee]

My solution is for it to be mandatory when parents ask the court to assign visitation and child support, show cause for contempt, etc., that each parent be incarcerated at his or her own expense. Then, once a day, they will be allowed to pass a note (offer) to the other parent. Once they reach an amicable agreement, they will serve an additional 5 days, then be released.

Wonder how many parents could work things out between themselves instead of hitting each other with expensive legal 2 X 4s?!

 

[Norsewife]

You see what is sad is some parents are willing to cut the kid in half (at least emotionally). Some are willing to discount the other parets and act as if the NCP is disposable. Then they wonder why we have young men who try to walk away from their kids. It is also amazing how many young mothers make poor choices for their babies fathers and then gripe because these guys want to be Fathers.

 

[hexeliebe]

Probably the same number as do now. Unfortunately, ego plays way too much a role in situations like this.

 

[fried eggs]

Isn't it strange that parents don't post looking for advice on how to get kids out of doing things they don't want to do like cleaning their rooms, studying, going to Aunt B's on Sunday afternoon, etc.?

Seems parents are only concerned when the kids don't want to vist Mom or Dad.

Actually, I've heard that exact complaint, but it's always in regards to chores or tasks the child is assigned at the other parents house... LOL

 

[DustyO]

I feel For Ya

I know what it's like to have these guys jump on your ass because they have jumped on my ass too. And it royally pissed me off too. Because the way they go about it is more like coming down on us than helping us. But deep down they are only trying to help. And honestly I don't think they realize how rude they are being. But Hun the advice they are giving you is right. You have to follow the order as it states or you'll be in more trouble and court sessions than you want. Go through the court system and try to get things worked out there. And if you and your ex can't work it out with the court referee then it'll be refered to the judge. And he'll decide it.

Hope it all works out for you.