Child Living With Non-relative Caregiver Receiving no Support

[stealth2]

I'm less angry and depressed than I am feeling responsible for my friend going into debt because of my mother.



Correction: Extremely polite :^)

Note - your friend that you met two months ago. And ho you are still mooching off of. Seriously - where is your Dad?

 

[C-Vac]

My mother filed for sole custody shortly after I was born, forcing my father to make child support payments which ended up paying for smokes and drinks for my mother.

 

[justalayman]

My mother filed for sole custody shortly after I was born, forcing my father to make child support payments which ended up paying for smokes and drinks for my mother.

And?

Your father still has a responsibility to you.


But you need to wake up and face reality;

Nobody is going to do anything to help you. You are so close to being a legal adult that by the time anything was investigated you would already be an adult. It would be a waste of the states resources. Your only option is to move in with your mother or wait out your 18th birthday.

 

[Silverplum]

I *really* miss having signatures here.

And ho you are still mooching off of.

 

[Just Blue]

I *really* miss having signatures here.

But calling someone a "ho" is rather rude.

 

[C-Vac]

Thanks guys, I came here to check my own actions and it would seem the best course is to wait to turn 18 then continue living.

While I am okay with this compromise option (the extreme alternatives could have been better or worse), my friend seeks to take legal action against my mother. It would seem that anything further would only be done in spite, and not gain us anything. She is convinced she must sue and we will likely see a future court date.


*hijacking my own thread*

Now I need to come up with close to $200 to take the GED and get my driver's license. Uncle Sam currently does not want to help. I already applied for 15 jobs and went to 2 interviews. With no work experience and no education, nobody wants to hire, but I will continue submitting applications until I find work. If there is anywhere else I can go to get aid in the meantime please tell me.

 

[justalayman]

Tell your friend to save her money.
You chose to stay with her and your friend refused to contact child protective services to deal with an abandoned minor. In other words: the two of you chose to be in the situation you are in but for some reason now think everybody else should pay for your decisions. Sorry but take this a life lesson; you are responsible for your choices and the results of those choices.

 

[C-Vac]

the two of you chose to be in the situation you are in but for some reason now think everybody else should pay for your decisions.

We were told by the mother that she would pay my cost of living while I was staying here. We were told by DCF that we would receive support benefits. The mother lied (she is a chronic liar). The DCF worker said that she was sorry, then mocked me over the phone.

The way I explained it may have painted a foggy picture, since there are far too many details to explain in one post. I hadn't kept a journal or written down notes, or else I likely would have spent an hour spilling my guts over the Internet. If I was not wronged by anyone but my mother then I must be mad.

 

[Just Blue]

We were told by the mother that she would pay my cost of living while I was staying here. We were told by DCF that we would receive support benefits. The mother lied (she is a chronic liar). The DCF worker said that she was sorry, then mocked me over the phone.

The way I explained it may have painted a foggy picture, since there are far too many details to explain in one post. I hadn't kept a journal or written down notes, or else I likely would have spent an hour spilling my guts over the Internet. If I was not wronged by anyone but my mother then I must be mad.

You are a legal child. The "caregiver" or your parent(s) have the legal right to act on your behalf.

 

[Silverplum]

So let's recap:

Child support belongs to the receiving parent, not to the child.
You won't get to court before you're 18 and a legal adult.
At 18, you can do as you (legally) please.

 

[C-Vac]

You are a legal child. The "caregiver" or your parent(s) have the legal right to act on your behalf.

While the DCF's welfare program unofficially referred to my friend in a Notice of Case Action as the "non-relative caregiver", attempts to confirm this legal relationship were met with confusion. The representatives we spoke with had no idea what we were talking about and refused to acknowledge that this relationship is even possible. My parents cannot act on my behalf because one is 4000 miles away and the other is an irresponsible drunk and WILL not act for me.

However, we HAVE confirmed, through various channels, that the friend has no type of guardianship or custody of me, will never have guardianship of me, and is currently seen as a friend who I am living with for free. My father has no custody of me. My mother will not reveal her location to me. Attempts to contact my mother by the state have not been successful (she does not answer the phone to unknown numbers in fear of being reached by a debt collector). Therefore in the eyes of the state I have no legal guardians and have had none for over two months. My friend cannot take me to get a flu shot, see the doctor/dentist, sign for me at the DMV, etc.


Today I spoke on the phone with my DCF investigator. She was condescending and sarcastic in the way you expect someone who sits around all day doing nothing making $40k a year would be. I learned that if I were placed in foster care rather than with my friend, the foster parents would have temporary custody of me. To give my friend temporary custody would be extremely difficult then, as she would likely have to fill out an additional form.

The system is broken is all I'm saying. It is getting frustrating. Why not at that point simply recognize me to be an adult, so I can finally begin living my own life? Just because I have not existed for an arbitrary number of revolutions our planet has made? I could have filed for emancipation but that is broken on its own. You need to pay a filing fee and wait up to 2 months to process the order. Time and money. What child ready to become an adult can expend either of those resources? Something needs to change here. /rant

 

[Silverplum]

While the DCF's welfare program unofficially referred to my friend in a Notice of Case Action as the "non-relative caregiver", attempts to confirm this legal relationship were met with confusion. The representatives we spoke with had no idea what we were talking about and refused to acknowledge that this relationship is even possible. My parents cannot act on my behalf because one is 4000 miles away and the other is an irresponsible drunk and WILL not act for me.

However, we HAVE confirmed, through various channels, that the friend has no type of guardianship or custody of me, will never have guardianship of me, and is currently seen as a friend who I am living with for free. My father has no custody of me. My mother will not reveal her location to me. Attempts to contact my mother by the state have not been successful (she does not answer the phone to unknown numbers in fear of being reached by a debt collector). Therefore in the eyes of the state I have no legal guardians and have had none for over two months. My friend cannot take me to get a flu shot, see the doctor/dentist, sign for me at the DMV, etc.


Today I spoke on the phone with my DCF investigator. She was condescending and sarcastic in the way you expect someone who sits around all day doing nothing making $40k a year would be. I learned that if I were placed in foster care rather than with my friend, the foster parents would have temporary custody of me. To give my friend temporary custody would be extremely difficult then, as she would likely have to fill out an additional form.

The system is broken is all I'm saying. It is getting frustrating. Why not at that point simply recognize me to be an adult, so I can finally begin living my own life? Just because I have not existed for an arbitrary number of revolutions our planet has made? I could have filed for emancipation but that is broken on its own. You need to pay a filing fee and wait up to 2 months to process the order. Time and money. What child ready to become an adult can expend either of those resources? Something needs to change here. /rant

/rant, indeed.

 

[Zigner]

Impatience is a hallmark of immaturity.

 

[justalayman]

It's not that the system is broken. You have been told there is a means to assist you. It's simply that you seem to have an attachment to this friend that causes you to refuse to avail yourself of the assistance that is available to you.

In other words; your choice to stay with your friend has precluded you from recieving assistance. That is your choice.


I'm starting to think there is more to this relationship than you have revealed here. Why else would you continue to leach off a person you have known for only two months while whining about how much it is costing her to support you?

 

[C-Vac]

Impatience is a hallmark of immaturity.

I have waited almost 18 years without complaining. Now a time of happening comes and my mother benefits most from her friend's distress. She took advantage of us and evidently nothing can right that. I can become a better person than she will ever be but when does it start to become right?