Child Sexual Abuse

[cyjeff]

No one said take the man out and shoot him.

In the spirit of openness, I did not say to take the man out and shoot him.

I wanted him drawn, quartered, burned at the stake, seed the ashes with salt and then scatter them.

Shoot him, no.

 

[Antigone*]

Well folks,

With very little time to spare I think we have found the most profoundly disgusting post of the year

 

[Proserpina]

Well folks,

With very little time to spare I think we have found the most profoundly disgusting post of the year

Actually no - there's one recently which makes this OP look like Snow White...I just have to dig it up...

 

[Proserpina]

In the spirit of openness, I did not say to take the man out and shoot him.

I wanted him drawn, quartered, burned at the stake, seed the ashes with salt and then scatter them.

Shoot him, no.

In the spirit of doing things right (or at least in keeping with tradition!), you omitted the word "hung" there.

Hung, drawn, quartered, etc., etc.

 

[joemccalistr]

WOW attack on folks, without even knowing all the facts. Just assume away and attack all the faults of a family in crisis. Here are more facts for you to go ahead and rip apart because I know how much it means to you.

My sister was "sexually abused" NOT raped. For a few years he would enter her room at night time and touch her inappropriately (not that this is not just as serious and hurtful)

As soon as my mother and I found out he was removed from our house and our lives. IMMEDIATELY.

My mother HAS 2 jobs and works her ass off to provide for my sister.
I have a job and go to school full time so I can graduate and take care of my family.

I talked to him and he agreed to confess when we turned him in.

Now that my sister is done with high school (which is a really big deal to her which is another reason why we waited) we are going to turn him in.

I want his money yes, because he has destroyed my sisters innocence and I think the court should rule that he get sent to jail forever and my sister be taken care of financially until she can take care of herself.

There is no pimping being done. If anyone has any other **** to talk about my sister I suggest you ask her, because she has been a part of every decision we have made, and while I can't wait to get her into therapy, I know she is doing very well at this stage for all the **** that has happened.

Thank you for attacking my families decisions as we go through a crisis.

 

[cyjeff]

WOW attack on folks, without even knowing all the facts. Just assume away and attack all the faults of a family in crisis. Here are more facts for you to go ahead and rip apart because I know how much it means to you.

My sister was "sexually abused" NOT raped. For a few years he would enter her room at night time and touch her inappropriately (not that this is not just as serious and hurtful)

As soon as my mother and I found out he was removed from our house and our lives. IMMEDIATELY.

My mother HAS 2 jobs and works her ass off to provide for my sister.
I have a job and go to school full time so I can graduate and take care of my family.

I talked to him and he agreed to confess when we turned him in.

Now that my sister is done with high school (which is a really big deal to her which is another reason why we waited) we are going to turn him in.

I want his money yes, because he has destroyed my sisters innocence and I think the court should rule that he get sent to jail forever and my sister be taken care of financially until she can take care of herself.

There is no pimping being done. If anyone has any other **** to talk about my sister I suggest you ask her, because she has been a part of every decision we have made, and while I can't wait to get her into therapy, I know she is doing very well at this stage for all the **** that has happened.

Thank you for attacking my families decisions as we go through a crisis.

And thank you for showing your sister that dad's money is more important than punishing the man that raped her.

Yes, raped.

Have you called the police yet?

 

[Ohiogal]

WOW attack on folks, without even knowing all the facts. Just assume away and attack all the faults of a family in crisis. Here are more facts for you to go ahead and rip apart because I know how much it means to you.

My sister was "sexually abused" NOT raped. For a few years he would enter her room at night time and touch her inappropriately (not that this is not just as serious and hurtful)

Touched her inappropriately how? Was there ANY insertion?

As soon as my mother and I found out he was removed from our house and our lives. IMMEDIATELY.

That is a lie. You accepted every dang dime he gave you. Basically hush money. Again, how much was that money and what is the price of a girl being sold?

My mother HAS 2 jobs and works her ass off to provide for my sister.
I have a job and go to school full time so I can graduate and take care of my family.

Then you are living above your means.

I talked to him and he agreed to confess when we turned him in.

Really? The man is a pedophile and you believe he is honest and trustworthy?

Now that my sister is done with high school (which is a really big deal to her which is another reason why we waited) we are going to turn him in.

When did she graduate? She could have graduated after he was sent to prison.

I want his money yes, because he has destroyed my sisters innocence and I think the court should rule that he get sent to jail forever and my sister be taken care of financially until she can take care of herself.

That excuse is pathetic.

There is no pimping being done. If anyone has any other **** to talk about my sister I suggest you ask her, because she has been a part of every decision we have made, and while I can't wait to get her into therapy, I know she is doing very well at this stage for all the **** that has happened.

SHE IS A CHILD. For crying out loud the adults in her life should have been making responsible decisions for her. Yet her mother -- who is supposed to protect her -- traded her for money. Why isn't she in therapy? OH because that doens't matter or you can't afford it or a hundred other reasons. Yet if it had been reportd therapy could have been arranged at little to no cost to help your sister deal. You sold her -- hope the money was worth it.

Thank you for attacking my families decisions as we go through a crisis.

The decisions you made can end up with your mother in jail, with your sister in foster care (unless she is now 18) and you as an accessory. Again, what was the cost of your sister? When did she graduate? What excuse was made for not reporting this? OH YEAH -- the MONEY.

 

[joemccalistr]

Since you seem unable to even make an attempt to understand my families plight, let me try and explain the other way.

My sister, 17, finally admits that for some years now she has been inappropriately touched by her stepfather.

We turn stepfather in immediately, and it goes to the courts.

Now here comes the fallout:

My sister, while attempting to concentrate on her final and most difficult semester of high school, is distracted and distraught by the law process by which he is being put away. Questioning, interviews, and statements in court all raise her anxiety and stress to a level where she cannot completely cope with school. Yes she gets therapy, but therapy is slow moving.

My mother, overcome with not only her bills, but also her soon to be ex-husbands bills, is left to try to take care of herself and my sister with a measly 20k a year income to cover bills that used to be handled by a 80k a year salary. The house is foreclosed upon. My mom most likely goes bankrupt due to the credit card bills and loans taken out on the house. Mom and sister are forced to move (who knows if they even got their stuff out) into a friends house if they are lucky, into a shelter, or out on the streets. Meanwhile, sister is dealing with all of this business, the court process, therapy, and trying to succeed in school.

They will have to live this way for a full year until I can get a good job to support them. Moving house to house, trying to make ends meet, living a really crappy life. Yes the perp was brought to justice, but with a little better timing their lives could have been improved greatly.

I understand this may be the worst case scenario, but most, if not all of it, probably would have happened. We receive no state help right now, I cannot take out any loans, neither can my mom, my "real" father (also a ****ty person) hasn't paid child support ever and won't change now.

So tell me, even though I discussed with my sister the option of turning him in immediately, and she, being grown up enough to discuss her thoughts and fears with us, concluded that we should wait a little, I and my mother are terrible people?

The perp is basically a cripple right now, going from surgery to surgery to fix his back and living in a chair at his house. Also, no children are ever present at that house, its basically a drug house. So I have had no worries about him being a threat to other children.

I came here seeking advice to learn about the transition, because WE ARE turning him in. If we could continue to have his "dirty/evil money" we can make sure my mom and sister don't end up in the streets living in poverty. It is not a necessity but something that would make things easier on my family.

Now I see why people don't like lawyers: they treat every case the same; why don't you try look at the situation and try to understand that I have done the best for my family.

Yes some nights I have gone to sleep crying because my sister hasn't seen that ******* behind bars yet and I want to punish him for what he has done. Now the time is here, which is why I came here for ADVICE, but thank you for showing me how inadequate of a person I am.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Since you seem unable to even make an attempt to understand my families plight, let me try and explain the other way.

You don't have to explain anything here. You have to explain it to the police and the D.A. and a judge and CPS. A child has been sexually abused. You don't wait to report the abuser. Ever. For any reason.

The officials you'll be dealing with are going to make this forum look like Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.

ETA: Oh, and ditto what OG said. He promised to turn himself in? Really? Did he pinky swear?

 

[>Charlotte<]

In the spirit of doing things right (or at least in keeping with tradition!), you omitted the word "hung" there. Hung, drawn, quartered, etc., etc.

In that same spirit: curtains are hung. People are hanged.

 

[Proserpina]

In that same spirit: curtains are hung. People are hanged.

I shall eat crow now. With an extra portion of crow

 

[thethemother]

Keep trying

I think that the people here are giving you a small "sample" of what the police investigator may say when and if you finally get around to reporting the sexual abuse of your sister. It will feel like they are attacking you, then they will really go for your mother. Your sister will have to explain every detail of the "contact" and how she finally got the nerve to tell you. That will feel like they are attacking her. It will be hell all over again...but the truth will set you free. Stay strong.

The police will interview the "crippled" stepfather who by now is more disabled and may have come up with a great story about your family making the whole thing up in order to live off his disability payments! He is now looking more likely to make you all look very stupid. Who will be more credible?

What it seems is that you are afraid. Your fear of house payments and bankruptcy is leading you to make deals with the devil! Do you have a minister? Grandparents? Aunts/uncles? Where is your biological father? Where are the strong relationships in your lives?

Cut your losses where you are.

If that house that you are trying to save is where the abuse took place...get rid of it...yesterday~

Call the police. File charges. Research places where there is affordable housing and find openings in whatever labor your mother does? You seem to be in college...what help is available there?

Think about how to get your family a fresh start!

 

[roxy152]

not right

I can't believe the way people are talking to you. As the victim of child sexual abuse, I understand what you did. I'm sorry I can't actually offer legal advice but I couldn't not comment- I'm so sorry that people are treating you this way. This is the last thing you need after what has happened to your family.

 

[Proserpina]

I can't believe the way people are talking to you. As the victim of child sexual abuse, I understand what you did. I'm sorry I can't actually offer legal advice but I couldn't not comment- I'm so sorry that people are treating you this way. This is the last thing you need after what has happened to your family.

And you signed up here..on the offchance..just to say that?

Come on.

 

[roxy152]

No, I was looking for a situation similar to my abuse experience. I signed up so I could ask if there was something I could do about the guy who molested me. But I'm starting to think there is no good advice on this forum.