Childs Last Name Changed?

[MTHRaye]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

I am not sure if this is the right area since I could only find similar questions in the archieves. Sorry it is so long.

My daughter was born in Spring 2007. Her dad signed AOP. We were together until she was 7 months. On her Birth Certificate she was given MY last name. When she was 2 weeks old I agreed (if he came back from girls house he slept with and moved in and out with 6 times while I was pregnant - So, yes, I was being stupid) that I would have her last name changed to his. Here is where is gets confusing...

I went and paid the $50 and took the paperwork. They said it would take about 9 months. In the meantime I had to get help for baby through WIC, medicaid and currently a daycare voucher since dad has not paid any support. When I set all of this up the only birth certificate and SS card had my last name. I was required through that system to complete all paperwork this way, enroll her in daycare that way, make doctors appointments that way, etc. Everything that is associated with munchkin has my last name on it... EXCEPT our custody order. When NCP filed he put his last name as her last name and frankly it didn't even occur to me until I got the perm order in the mail.

About a month ago I got a letter in the mail from the Clerk of Courts that our request had been granted (to change her name) and that I had to come to the courthouse to pay $50 to get the order signed and a new birth certificate. Dad has not had much contact with daughter and was given a 6 month phase in period (this is after the initial phase in period of 6 months from temp where he missed 80% of visits) that will either lead to more or no visits at the end of 6 months depending on his actions (that is what the judge said, not me). In the meantime munchkin has been using my last name b/c that is all we have on birth certificate and SS card.

My question is: What is the law about last names for the munchkins? I would prefer for at least the meantime since I can not afford the name change and would like to see if dad is going to be involved to keep her name as it is. Is her name officially changed because I paid the $50 and signed the paperwork? Am I required to go pay the additional money and get the new birth certificate with his last name and get her a new social security card, change medicaid, WIC, doctor and daycare?

I have been to the clerk of courts to ask and no one seemed to know. They said I could list her as having my last name since the current birth certificate I have and SS card have her with my last name. They said the only time she will need it is when I take her to register for school but as long as I have a BC and SS card that match I will be fine.

HOWEVER, I do understand that the people working the desk at the clerk of courts are not our custody judge SO, is there any legal reason that I must complete the process (requires another $50 and more paperwork I think)? Is it already done and legally her name is already changed? And/or can I just leave it the way it is? If I leave it the way it is do I need to do anything to make the judge aware that she is using this last name since it doesn't match what is in the order? Not sure if it matters but I do have sole legal custody of munchkin.

Thanks for any and all help!

 

[Ohiogal]

The court may require it. You need to talk to a local attorney.

 

[MTHRaye]

How would I know if the court is going to require it? Is there any way to search the law in NC on "partial" name change process? (of course I realize I am making up a term, I just don't know what else to call it) Sorry again for the long post.

No one in my local family court, special proceedings, vital records, or clerk of courts could answer. I can not afford an attorney or the extra $50 to complete order and get new certified birth certificate and the time off work to go to DSS and change Medicaid, WIC and daycare stuff. Her doctor and daycare center would be no problem changing (should I be required to). If I have a choice I want to leave her name as given at birth which is mine at least until we figure out if dad is going to be around.

There is nothing in the order stating I have to complete the process of changing her name that was initiated, but the order refers to her by his last name. He brought it up that she was going by my last name in our custody trial as just a point blank statement but the judge never asked him to elaborate nor did she ask another question about it and did not address it in our final order. We were both pro se and frankly I forgot about it until later that day (boy was there a lot I forgot/didn't know to address now that I am reading this site. Guess that is what the attorneys are for) I wish I would have been able to afford one but it really was not possible and I hunted options.

I am really confused and want to leave her name the way it is. If I have already changed it then I am stuck with that. I do know that once the change is complete the only way to change it back is to get dad to sign.

I guess my question is Have I already changed her name according to NC law if I paid the first $50 and signed the application to change it? If I never get a new certified birth certificate and/or change her social security card her name then officially not changed?

Finally, Who really cares? Is it Social Security, IRS, Schools, Courts? IOW If you have a SS card that refers to child as something does that over rule what is on the "new" birth certificate. What would a punishment be for referring to your child by what they were born as if you applied for a name change?

Obviously this might be easier to go get the silly BC and make the changes everywhere, but if dad doesn't step up and instead steps out I don't want her to have some random last name. Before I get jumped on keep in mind that I will always allow him to have a relationship with her if/when he wants one. The judge is the one threatening to take that right away not me. I just think it would be best to wait and yes, it would make my life a little easier for the moment (And boy do I need a break from the court house after CS and Custody court trips over the past year)

 

[janM]

IMO, whether dad is involved or not, you should just leave her name alone. Even if he is dad of the year, it's ok for his daughter to have a different last name. He'll still be her father.

Can you file something to "cancel" your request for a name change? Like dismissing a case?

 

[MTHRaye]

I guess maybe that is my question. Is there a way to cancel it/dismiss the request?

OR if I never go to get the signed order and/or new birth certificate paying the $50 is it not finalized?

And if it WAS finalized through courts once I handed the application over regardless of if I ever come back and pay the $50 to get the order and new Birth Certificate.

Then, if it was finalized changing her name on her birth certificate amd I required to go to the SS office and other places to to change it or can I just let her keep going with my last name. That is what I would prefer, I just want to make sure I am not going to get served with something from him that I am in contempt or something like falsifying information... I really have no idea of the legal terms, I just want to know if I can get in trouble for leaving all her information as it is WHILE we have a custody order that has her listed by a different last name.

I do have sole legal custody if that has any bearing? I assume a name change is a legal thing and if I am able to make legal decisions would this fall under that?

 

[LdiJ]

How would I know if the court is going to require it? Is there any way to search the law in NC on "partial" name change process? (of course I realize I am making up a term, I just don't know what else to call it) Sorry again for the long post.

No one in my local family court, special proceedings, vital records, or clerk of courts could answer. I can not afford an attorney or the extra $50 to complete order and get new certified birth certificate and the time off work to go to DSS and change Medicaid, WIC and daycare stuff. Her doctor and daycare center would be no problem changing (should I be required to). If I have a choice I want to leave her name as given at birth which is mine at least until we figure out if dad is going to be around.

There is nothing in the order stating I have to complete the process of changing her name that was initiated, but the order refers to her by his last name. He brought it up that she was going by my last name in our custody trial as just a point blank statement but the judge never asked him to elaborate nor did she ask another question about it and did not address it in our final order. We were both pro se and frankly I forgot about it until later that day (boy was there a lot I forgot/didn't know to address now that I am reading this site. Guess that is what the attorneys are for) I wish I would have been able to afford one but it really was not possible and I hunted options.

I am really confused and want to leave her name the way it is. If I have already changed it then I am stuck with that. I do know that once the change is complete the only way to change it back is to get dad to sign.

I guess my question is Have I already changed her name according to NC law if I paid the first $50 and signed the application to change it? If I never get a new certified birth certificate and/or change her social security card her name then officially not changed?

Finally, Who really cares? Is it Social Security, IRS, Schools, Courts? IOW If you have a SS card that refers to child as something does that over rule what is on the "new" birth certificate. What would a punishment be for referring to your child by what they were born as if you applied for a name change?

Obviously this might be easier to go get the silly BC and make the changes everywhere, but if dad doesn't step up and instead steps out I don't want her to have some random last name. Before I get jumped on keep in mind that I will always allow him to have a relationship with her if/when he wants one. The judge is the one threatening to take that right away not me. I just think it would be best to wait and yes, it would make my life a little easier for the moment (And boy do I need a break from the court house after CS and Custody court trips over the past year)

Technically, if a judge has signed off on a last name change, then the last name change is "legal".

Practically, until its changed on her BC and changed with the Social Security Administration, its not legally recognized. Practically, if the BC and the Social Security Administration match, that's the only last name that is going to be recognized by the government. Practically, only the last name shown by the Social Security Administration is going to be recognized.

However, dad could also complete the process of changing her last name if it has been signed off on by a judge. You are not the only person who could complete that process.

 

[MTHRaye]

You guys are GOOD at getting to the real question!! I am going to have to get better at shorter posts

How would I know if a judge signed off on it? I handed a lady behind a desk a piece of paper and $50 and to the best of my memory she said "thanks have a nice day, they will send your something in the mail."

What I have/gave her is called order and certificate of name change that is signed by her (the assistant CSC) confused and has a seal on it dated over a year ago. THEN 9 months later (3 months ago) I got a letter from vital records that says my request has been granted but I have to come in and pay the $50 to get the order processed and a certified copy of birth certificate.

HOWEVER, you answered another one of my questions If dad stirs up the desire to go ahead and complete the process, pay the money, go to SS, DSS for WIC and Medicaid and have her doctor and daycare records change I think that would be awesome and would not fight it, I'm just wondering if I have to facilitate and fund it

BUT, Let me be fair in saying that I don't think dad knows/understands. Of course that is because we have NO communication. I had tried to discuss it several times prior to court and he just says STFU, she is a **** (his last name). If I even opened my mouth beyond that he hung up. Now I would prefer to leave it alone so I don't want to bring it up.

He signed the application over a year ago and like with everything that happens with baby he thinks "whamo, it's done because mom is going to take care of it" When he filed for custody he stated her last name to be his and I never corrected/addressed it because like I said we were both pro se and I was more focused on making my points clear, not crying and not passing out

SO, I know get the point that the only way to be recognized as his last name by the government (ie school, medicaid, WIC, daycare voucher) I am/he is going to have to get the new BC and SS card.

THEN, am I doing anything illegal by having a custody order naming her one thing and enrolling her in school, Medicaid, doctor, daycare etc as something different? It is not surprisingly not addressed in the order so I am not forced to do anything. But am I "lying to/misleading" the judge to not clarify it in our order? I just don't want to have to deal with it with dad. If/when he finds out he is going to demand that I take care of it and I don't have the time, money nor the desire The only person I want to make sure to keep happy in this situation is the judge

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Did the judge order EITHER of you to get the name changed? Did the Judge say, Mom, YOU go get the order change? If not, dad plays just as much a part in this as mom.

But from what I can gather, dad ASSUMED that his name was on the BC. You know what happens when we assume.

OP, you can also just save a couple of bucks at a time to gather up the $50.00. Then, if your employer gives you vacation, just cover all the ground in one day. Or see if any of these places can have you handle it by mail once you have the BC.

It really boils down to what you had agreed to.

 

[MTHRaye]

Did the judge order EITHER of you to get the name changed? Did the Judge say, Mom, YOU go get the order change? If not, dad plays just as much a part in this as mom.

No, judge didn't say we had to change the name, but I do know that judge has no idea that the name is/has ever been different from what is in the order.

But from what I can gather, dad ASSUMED that his name was on the BC. You know what happens when we assume.

Yes, dad gathered once he signed the paper I gave him last year that I took care of it and followed up on whatever needed to happen.

OP, you can also just save a couple of bucks at a time to gather up the $50.00. Then, if your employer gives you vacation, just cover all the ground in one day. Or see if any of these places can have you handle it by mail once you have the BC.

I am sure if it was something I wanted to do that I could find the time and money. But, I don't want to change her name. I want it to stay mine, but don't want to get in trouble for anything if I leave her name as mine without addressing it in our court order.

It really boils down to what you had agreed to.

I do really understand that. I did agree to change it if he came home from girl he moved in and out with 6 times while I was pregnant and helped me raise her (yeah, I was dumb). He did come home for 6 weeks. Now he spends little to no time with babykins and refuses to pay support (which I understand will eventually happen). So, yes I agreed, but in this case like him, changed my mind. I'm really not trying to be a b****. If he were taking even half the time the judge offered him with baby or making 10% of his support payment I might feel different. Right now I just want to make sure that he is going to even be in her life before I make the change official technically.

At this point babykins has no idea what her last name is. So, in a year or two if dad step up and she knows who he is and he seems like he will be sticking around then I really won't have a problem with changing it and she will be none the wiser. I'm just trying to figure out in the meantime if I have any legal issues not telling the judge that our order is incorrect.

However, Ldij I think is correct that her name has legally been changed to X, therefore makng the order correct. Just technically according to government records her last name is Y.

Is there a legal issue here? Is there anything in NC family law that requires a parent have to refer to their child by their legal name and/or to change their technical name to their legal name? If so within what time frame after permission to change name would that technical change have to occur?

Thanks for your help on what I recognize compared to most questions on here is petty

 

[Just Blue]

No, judge didn't say we had to change the name, but I do know that judge has no idea that the name is/has ever been different from what is in the order.



Yes, dad gathered once he signed the paper I gave him last year that I took care of it and followed up on whatever needed to happen.



I am sure if it was something I wanted to do that I could find the time and money. But, I don't want to change her name. I want it to stay mine, but don't want to get in trouble for anything if I leave her name as mine without addressing it in our court order.



I do really understand that. I did agree to change it if he came home from girl he moved in and out with 6 times while I was pregnant and helped me raise her (yeah, I was dumb). He did come home for 6 weeks. Now he spends little to no time with babykins and refuses to pay support (which I understand will eventually happen). So, yes I agreed, but in this case like him, changed my mind. I'm really not trying to be a b****. If he were taking even half the time the judge offered him with baby or making 10% of his support payment I might feel different. Right now I just want to make sure that he is going to even be in her life before I make the change official technically.

At this point babykins has no idea what her last name is. So, in a year or two if dad step up and she knows who he is and he seems like he will be sticking around then I really won't have a problem with changing it and she will be none the wiser. I'm just trying to figure out in the meantime if I have any legal issues not telling the judge that our order is incorrect.

However, Ldij I think is correct that her name has legally been changed to X, therefore makng the order correct. Just technically according to government records her last name is Y.

Is there a legal issue here? Is there anything in NC family law that requires a parent have to refer to their child by their legal name and/or to change their technical name to their legal name? If so within what time frame after permission to change name would that technical change have to occur?

Thanks for your help on what I recognize compared to most questions on here is petty

Yes..You are being petty. Having your last name doesn't mean squat. It's a name. Just a name. Lots of people share names. You are courting a court action just to be a b****. How do you think a judge will feel when this case appears before him? And you are require to use your child's LEGAL name for insurance, doctor and other records.

So stop being a petty jerk and finish the process.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes..You are being petty. Having your last name doesn't mean squat. It's a name. Just a name. Lots of people share names. You are courting a court action just to be a b****. How do you think a judge will feel when this case appears before him? And you are require to use your child's LEGAL name for insurance, doctor and other records.

So stop being a petty jerk and finish the process.

I have to disagree. Dad wanted the name change and normally the person who wants it, (or their attorney) is expected to do the legwork, not the other way around. It is a big pain in the butt and there is no legal or moral reason why mom should be the one responsible to do it.

However, MTHRaye, if the "order" is already at the vital records department, then its signed off on by the judge, and may already be processed (or partially processed) as far as the BC is concerned.

For example, if you were to order a copy of her BC now, it might come back with the changed last name. That will cause her problems in the future if her BC doesn't match her name with the SSA. At a minimum you had best speak with the people at vital records to find out exactly what the status is.

 

[Just Blue]

I have to disagree. Dad wanted the name change and normally the person who wants it, (or their attorney) is expected to do the legwork, not the other way around. It is a big pain in the butt and there is no legal or moral reason why mom should be the one responsible to do it.

However, MTHRaye, if the "order" is already at the vital records department, then its signed off on by the judge, and may already be processed (or partially processed) as far as the BC is concerned.

For example, if you were to order a copy of her BC now, it might come back with the changed last name. That will cause her problems in the future if her BC doesn't match her name with the SSA. At a minimum you had best speak with the people at vital records to find out exactly what the status is.

Disagree all you want...The fact is the OP is the one to initiate the process and has created this mess by not following through. In court SHE will have to be accountable to the Judge. The child name is Smith but Mom is using Jones on records...not good. She needs to finish the process and get the heck over the importance of the child's last name. I would bet she thinks she has more "power" if the child shares her last name...she doesn't.

Dad wanted the name change and normally the person who wants it, (or their attorney) is expected to do the legwork, not the other way around

 

[LdiJ]

Disagree all you want...The fact is the OP is the one to initiate the process and has created this mess by not following through. In court SHE will have to be accountable to the Judge. The child name is Smith but Mom is using Jones on records...not good. She needs to finish the process and get the heck over the importance of the child's last name. I would bet she thinks she has more "power" if the child shares her last name...she doesn't.

I just went back and re-read her original post....and its looks like this wasn't even something she agreed to do in court (change the child's last name). Apparently it was a non legal agreement made with dad.

Otherwise, the judge would have ordered it on the spot and she wouldn't have had to pay a filing fee for that.

Her concern about getting in trouble with the judge is that she didn't correct the child's last name when dad filed his paperwork using his last name for the child.

If it was a non legal agreement made with dad, she cannot be held in contempt for not following through.

 

[MTHRaye]

Yes..You are being petty. Having your last name doesn't mean squat. It's a name. Just a name. Lots of people share names. You are courting a court action just to be a b****. How do you think a judge will feel when this case appears before him?

So stop being a petty jerk and finish the process.

Bay; I didn't say I was going to keep her from her dad... and I said I would be happy for dad to complete the process should he be so inclined. If I wanted power over dad it would be to make him show up for visits or to be more involved. What more power can I get?? I already have sole legal (and I know you know that means dad was not "up to par" b/c it takes a lot, at least in NC, to not get joint legal and I don't even want to go there!)

I understand it is only a name, because I had/have "only a name" since I got put in foster homes at age 11. I would have loved to grow up from that point with my foster family's last name, but my parents would never agree even though they left all 4 of us with DSS (so no, I wasn't a delinquent). I just would like my daughter to grow up with a last name that she is at least associated with. No, I'm not attached to my last name and yes, I get that sperm associates. I also know what it is like to have a last name of a parent(s) that have nothing to do with you and I want to shield my daughter from the same feeling. As an adult, yes it is only a name, as a child it is your identity and affiliation with the ones that are suppose to love you! Of course, this is just my opinion through experience and has nothing to do with the law.

I just went back and re-read her original post....and its looks like this wasn't even something she agreed to do in court (change the child's last name). Apparently it was a non legal agreement made with dad.

Ldij; Correct, this is an agreement made one night while begging him to come home when baby was 3 days old. It was certainly a non-legal agreement made with dad. But, I did take it to the courthouse and start the process. There was never an official agreement between dad and I on how it was to be carried out. I did tell him how the process worked when I initially started it and like I said had tried to bring it up before court. He just thinks that when I say her name on paperwork is Y if you need to gather any information from school, doctors or elsewhere that I am just trying to make him mad. Keep in mind that not once has he called the doctor, asked the daycare, etc. to confirm. He just responds with "Yeah right, STFU" when I try to discuss it verbally. I do have 3 emails that I have sent each about a month apart prior to court that said "If you want or need to contact "baby's" doctor, obtain insurance information (medicaid) need any information from daycare please remember that her last name on her paperwork is Y". He never responded to them, but I have always kept them.

Her concern about getting in trouble with the judge is that she didn't correct the child's last name when dad filed his paperwork using his last name for the child.

If it was a non legal agreement made with dad, she cannot be held in contempt for not following through

This is exactly my concern. I am certain it was a non legal agreement with dad and the judge has not said boo about the last name. But, is there any trouble with not bringing it to the judges attention and correcting the paperwork dad filed with his last name? Our order refers to her as X and I am referring to her as Y.

However, MTHRaye, if the "order" is already at the vital records department, then its signed off on by the judge, and may already be processed (or partially processed) as far as the BC is concerned.

For example, if you were to order a copy of her BC now, it might come back with the changed last name. That will cause her problems in the future if her BC doesn't match her name with the SSA. At a minimum you had best speak with the people at vital records to find out exactly what the status is.

Ldij, are you psychic as well That is exactly how the clerk of courts and vital records put it to me. They said it was going to be really important that I keep her BC (that has my last name) in a safe place because if I ever needed another it WILL have the new last name on it. So then we will run into trouble and HAVE to get a new SS card and make the changes. Other than that they said there was not a legal problem using what I have.

Leads me straight back to my original question... Do I have to notify the family court judge/office that she is referred to as Y according to government and technicalities and see if they make me change it and not X as stated in the order or is that just another "technicality" and if he wants to persue it he is welcome to go through the hassles of making all the changes?

How do you think a judge will feel when this case appears before him?

Judge is a female. All but one (the toughest one on men) in our district is a she. God Bless America for equal rights And guys out there, I just mean that they got as far as being a judge not that they then can use that to show any favortism because they don't!

 

[sometwo]

You said the judge never signed off on it yet so therefore it wouldnt be an order yet. So it wouldnt be changed yet. So seems to me she just needs to dismiss it . Just dont know how to do that though.