complicated custody question

[stevenslady]

the northeat u.s.-in nov 2002 i gave birth to a baby boy,the father at the time was thought to be deceased.his cousin stepped in and helped me raise him,at the time i was in college,and didnt feel i could go to school and raise a child at the same time,so i gave his cousin full custody of my baby.hes been a father in every way to my son,buying him clothes,spending timr with him,and treating him like he was his own.recently.i discovered that the bio father was alive,and i was happy about that,we recently got married.my problem is with my son,whos 2,and knows his fathers cousin as his daddy.will the bio father have to adopt him since he was thought to be dead.his cousin is willing to give us custody as long as he can still see him.how would this work?

 

[stealth2]

Was bioDad's name placed on the birth certificate?

And they ask you for your state for a reason. "Northeast US" isn't a state, but encompasses quite a number - each with different laws.

 

[stevenslady]

oops

im in ny state.no the bio dads name isnt on the bc,the cousins name is.ive told my son that the man i married is his bio dad,and hes seems to have taken it well.

 

[stealth2]

Oh Lord. So you've perpetuated fraud on top of this as well. What a mess. Your husband (I'm not even going to ask how, in the space of two years you think he's dead and now are already married to him) can file a paternity action. He'll be ordered to take a DNA test which will show whether he's the biofather or not.

Now, to make it more complicated (and less pleasant for you), you yourself gave this man full custody and pretended that he was the child's father. I would expect that you're going to have a hell of a fight if the child's DAD (and yes, at this point the man who stepped up to the plate when your husband apparently vanished without a trace IS DAD) puts up a fight. I hope he does. He, and your son, deserve to finish what you started - as father and son.

 

[stealth2]

ive told my son that the man i married is his bio dad,and hes seems to have taken it well.

and

my son,whos 2,and knows his fathers cousin as his daddy

Sheesh - I just saw the top quote. The kid is TWO! First you tell him the one guy is Daddy, now you tell him "oh no - this guy is Dad"? WTF is WRONG with you? "Oh, he seems to have taken it well." Christ on Crutches. I think I've now seen it all. You're a piece of work lady.

Lemme guess - you're related to Kelly, aren't you.

 

[casa]

the northeat u.s.-in nov 2002 i gave birth to a baby boy,the father at the time was thought to be deceased.his cousin stepped in and helped me raise him,at the time i was in college,and didnt feel i could go to school and raise a child at the same time,so i gave his cousin full custody of my baby.hes been a father in every way to my son,buying him clothes,spending timr with him,and treating him like he was his own.recently.i discovered that the bio father was alive,and i was happy about that,we recently got married.my problem is with my son,whos 2,and knows his fathers cousin as his daddy.will the bio father have to adopt him since he was thought to be dead.his cousin is willing to give us custody as long as he can still see him.how would this work?

Since it's already been addressed, I'll save you the input re; what a fine mess you've gotten yourself into

The bio dad will have to file to establish paternity through DNA testing. Then you both will have to file for custody- the cousin who has been "Daddy" will have to sign in agreement. I hope you are considering giving the cousin/Daddy very liberal visitation- at the least every other weekend so he can maintain his relationship with the child.