What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TN
I will try to make a long story short but still include all information I feel is pertinent to my situation. Please bear with me as I am new to any type of forum.
First and foremost let me say, I was an idiot. Plain and simple. If I could kick my own butt, I would. For the most part, I am a pretty intelligent man but I royally dropped the ball on this.
Divorced July 2009. Two children. One of those children turned 18 in 2012. Per the original parenting plan I was ordered to pay X amount in child support. I paid said amount, each month, every month. I did pay less for 2 months, due to hours at work being cut, but I made that up once my hours went back to 40 per week. I was ordered to pay my ex wife directly. I have all the carbon copies of the checks I wrote along with bank statements. In 2012 when my oldest turned 18 my ex wife approached me (we were still on good terms & even working on a reconciliation) about what was I going to do about modifying the support since the oldest had turned 18 and graduated. I told her I was going to file for a modification with my local chancery court. She told me I could pay her X amount her month because she didn't want to "fool with court" and "all the hassle". I went to the chancery court office to inquire about a modification. The lady working looked at my parenting plan and said "well you need to hire a mediator because that's what your plan says you have to do if you all disagree on something". I explained to her it wasn't a disagreement but I simply wanted to modify. She again told me I'd need a mediator. Having never dealt with this & knowing this woman was a clerk for the courts, I assumed she knew what she was talking about. She gave me a list of mediators & I made the calls. They were very pricey to say the least. I truly did not know what to do at this point. Again, the ex and I were on great terms, had been dating, etc. trying to work things out. So (here comes the I'm an idiot part) I agreed to pay her X amount. So from July 2012 when my oldest turned 18 until June 2015, I paid her X amount. Nothing was ever said, she never asked for more, she cashed the checks and life went on.
The first of July I received a letter from Child Support Enforcement stating they were going to garnish my check which I was perfectly fine with. As long as she got her money, I didn't care how she got it. But the order was for the amount which I was ordered to pay when we divorced in July 2009. When I called to ask about this they informed me that because the original court order was for X amount that that is what they have to enforce. That's when it hit me. What an idiot I was!! They informed me I could file for a modification to reflect the one child. So, I go to the chancery court, asked for the form to file & walked out. I filled out the form & returned it to the clerks office and was told they would contact me with a court date. I haven't been contacted yet.
A couple of days ago I received another letter from CSE stating I owed her X amount in back child support. I had paid her every month & only missed the 2 payments I spoke of earlier. The amount they say I owe her in back pay is based on the # of months since we divorced in 2009 per the original order. The amount in which she signed a sworn affidavit stating I had paid her isn't even close to what I have actually paid her. Again, I understand they can enforce the original court ordered amount on both children. But my questions are this....
1- Because I did not have it modified when the oldest aged out, will they consider what I did pay her (through verbal agreement) a gift and it not count towards anything?
2- Can someone come kick my a** for me?
3- Will a Judge not wonder why she waited 3 years, after the oldest aged out, to try and collect back pay?
4- Would a Judge consider what I did pay her as child support but if I should have been paying her more make me back pay just the difference?
I can't stress enough how mad I am at myself. She and I remained on good terms, we did decide we simply wouldn't work out as a couple & both of us went on to date other people & up until last week, we were still friendly to one another. I never saw this coming. If I owe back pay, that's fine. I would never not support my child (the one I still owe support on will be 18 next year). But the amount they are saying I owe her in back pay is an amount that will take me until 2020 to pay. I just find it so hard to believe that a Judge wouldn't consider what I did pay as support. I know they can do whatever they like but to know that a man paid his support, didn't try to get out of paying it, who truly did make an effort, who wasn't/isn't a dead beat & who is not trying to get out of paying anything that the Judge would still not count anything I paid as support. Maybe because I'm new to all of this is why I don't get it.
Can someone please help me? Do I hire an attorney? Is one really needed for this?
Thank You all in advance for your time. I hope I included all the info needed to possibly answer some of my questions.
I will try to make a long story short but still include all information I feel is pertinent to my situation. Please bear with me as I am new to any type of forum.
First and foremost let me say, I was an idiot. Plain and simple. If I could kick my own butt, I would. For the most part, I am a pretty intelligent man but I royally dropped the ball on this.
Divorced July 2009. Two children. One of those children turned 18 in 2012. Per the original parenting plan I was ordered to pay X amount in child support. I paid said amount, each month, every month. I did pay less for 2 months, due to hours at work being cut, but I made that up once my hours went back to 40 per week. I was ordered to pay my ex wife directly. I have all the carbon copies of the checks I wrote along with bank statements. In 2012 when my oldest turned 18 my ex wife approached me (we were still on good terms & even working on a reconciliation) about what was I going to do about modifying the support since the oldest had turned 18 and graduated. I told her I was going to file for a modification with my local chancery court. She told me I could pay her X amount her month because she didn't want to "fool with court" and "all the hassle". I went to the chancery court office to inquire about a modification. The lady working looked at my parenting plan and said "well you need to hire a mediator because that's what your plan says you have to do if you all disagree on something". I explained to her it wasn't a disagreement but I simply wanted to modify. She again told me I'd need a mediator. Having never dealt with this & knowing this woman was a clerk for the courts, I assumed she knew what she was talking about. She gave me a list of mediators & I made the calls. They were very pricey to say the least. I truly did not know what to do at this point. Again, the ex and I were on great terms, had been dating, etc. trying to work things out. So (here comes the I'm an idiot part) I agreed to pay her X amount. So from July 2012 when my oldest turned 18 until June 2015, I paid her X amount. Nothing was ever said, she never asked for more, she cashed the checks and life went on.
The first of July I received a letter from Child Support Enforcement stating they were going to garnish my check which I was perfectly fine with. As long as she got her money, I didn't care how she got it. But the order was for the amount which I was ordered to pay when we divorced in July 2009. When I called to ask about this they informed me that because the original court order was for X amount that that is what they have to enforce. That's when it hit me. What an idiot I was!! They informed me I could file for a modification to reflect the one child. So, I go to the chancery court, asked for the form to file & walked out. I filled out the form & returned it to the clerks office and was told they would contact me with a court date. I haven't been contacted yet.
A couple of days ago I received another letter from CSE stating I owed her X amount in back child support. I had paid her every month & only missed the 2 payments I spoke of earlier. The amount they say I owe her in back pay is based on the # of months since we divorced in 2009 per the original order. The amount in which she signed a sworn affidavit stating I had paid her isn't even close to what I have actually paid her. Again, I understand they can enforce the original court ordered amount on both children. But my questions are this....
1- Because I did not have it modified when the oldest aged out, will they consider what I did pay her (through verbal agreement) a gift and it not count towards anything?
2- Can someone come kick my a** for me?
3- Will a Judge not wonder why she waited 3 years, after the oldest aged out, to try and collect back pay?
4- Would a Judge consider what I did pay her as child support but if I should have been paying her more make me back pay just the difference?
I can't stress enough how mad I am at myself. She and I remained on good terms, we did decide we simply wouldn't work out as a couple & both of us went on to date other people & up until last week, we were still friendly to one another. I never saw this coming. If I owe back pay, that's fine. I would never not support my child (the one I still owe support on will be 18 next year). But the amount they are saying I owe her in back pay is an amount that will take me until 2020 to pay. I just find it so hard to believe that a Judge wouldn't consider what I did pay as support. I know they can do whatever they like but to know that a man paid his support, didn't try to get out of paying it, who truly did make an effort, who wasn't/isn't a dead beat & who is not trying to get out of paying anything that the Judge would still not count anything I paid as support. Maybe because I'm new to all of this is why I don't get it.
Can someone please help me? Do I hire an attorney? Is one really needed for this?
Thank You all in advance for your time. I hope I included all the info needed to possibly answer some of my questions.
