ohio, Me and my wife are currently seperated for about a yr now and getting ready to start the divorce process. We have 2 children together, girl age 5, boy age 10, and also she has a boy age 11, my stepson. My girl has gone back and fourth between us on a schedule we decided, its been 50/50. My boy has lived with me solely for about 5 months, she has shown little or no interest in him, and when he was with her in the beginning she had different men in and out of her life, and staying with her while the kids were there, now he dont want to be around her because she has always put herself first. I just found out that she has been letting my stepson stay over night at another mans house, i know i dont have any custody rights to him, but i want custody of my 2 with her only having visitation, I dont think this is right at this point and time because i am still his step dad. She has done to much to the kids to list, but was wondering will this help me in obtaining custody?
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- Thread starter RobE
- Start date
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Just Blue
Senior Member
What are you EXACTLY trying to imply? Who is this "other man" to her or to the child involved?
Just Blue
Senior Member
Hurt by WHAT? EXPOSED to WHAT?
Proserpina
Senior Member
Rob, here's the reality.
First, you have no rights or input regarding what Mom does with your stepson.
Second, unless there is a court order saying otherwise Mom is allowed to have overnight guests and she can take ALL of the kids to stay overnight to someone else's house.
First, you have no rights or input regarding what Mom does with your stepson.
Second, unless there is a court order saying otherwise Mom is allowed to have overnight guests and she can take ALL of the kids to stay overnight to someone else's house.
stealth2
Under the Radar Member
OP - YOU don't get to decide what she allows her son to do. Your (joint) son doesn't get to decide whether or not he wants to spend time with Mom - at least once there is a court order. And if you're the CP? You WILL be expected to facilitate that visitation.
Seriously - you don't get to dictate what she does on her time, unless you've proven to a court that it harms the children you share. Her son has nothing to do with that situation.
Seriously - you don't get to dictate what she does on her time, unless you've proven to a court that it harms the children you share. Her son has nothing to do with that situation.
So even though we are seperated, not legally, and are still married, and my son now has anger issues torwards her, and depression issues, because of her decisions and i do take him to counseling, and i try to facilitate time for him to see her, but she dont, and we have no number for him to call her and she has my little girl lie to me about what she(meaning my girl) does, which i have proof, so this is ok for mom to do and i have no say so,
stealth2
Under the Radar Member
Do you think you could actually take that horrendous conglomeration of random words and parse them into rational sentences like a semi-literate human being?
Proserpina
Senior Member
CJane
Senior Member
This might be another random paragraph generator user.
I shall try.
Rob, once a court order is in place, you will be required to ensure that Rob JR gets in the car to go see Mom as ordered by the court.
Based on your tone, I would infer that you may be having trouble controlling your feelings about Mom when you are around the kids. Perhaps you should secure some time with a counselor yourself......
Rob, once a court order is in place, you will be required to ensure that Rob JR gets in the car to go see Mom as ordered by the court.
Mom still has rights, and once a court order is in place, you are required to see that he is available for Mom to spend time with.
Good. Between you and the counselors, you should be able to help him realize that life isn't about what he wants, and life isn't always fair. He needs to eat green beans even if he doesn't want to, and he still needs to see his Mom even if he doesn't want to.
Doesn't matter. You will still be required to encourage the relatiohnship between them, regardless of whether or not Mom utilizes her rights to parenting time.
Then when you finally get to court, request that Mom be ordered to ensure that you are always provided current contact info. If Mom fails to do so, it could be grounds for contempt--later.
No one said that Mom's behavior is that of an ideal parent, nor is it even what I would call "ok" parenting. However, bad parenting is not illegal, and there isn't anything that you can do about that. What you can do is work with your (mutual) children to help them love and accept their Mom and encourage them to enjoy the time the do spend with Mom.
Based on your tone, I would infer that you may be having trouble controlling your feelings about Mom when you are around the kids. Perhaps you should secure some time with a counselor yourself......
Rob,
I dont tink the answers you have got here are of any value to you..
Yes there are a number of things you can do to correct the situation.
1) make a record of the enviroments your children are put in with date and
time, you know? (the who, what, when, and where.)
(if its an un healthy lifestlye your kids are being exposed to its a crime
emotionaly damaging to the children)
2) Once you have the evidence you may file for a temporary restraining order.
do this ASAP.. (remember the one who files first usualy wins if there ever
is a winner)..
3) file for the divorce and custody first, you probably wont get full custody
unless shes a crack head but it shows you are willing to take the lead
and responsibility..
4) Report every incedent to the police/child protective office and to the courts, get it documented.
5) always be the first to do something or you may end up with nothing?
I have seen many friends and their children loose because they wanted to be the nice guy... It dont work all the time.. you have to be firm and agreesive if you realy care for your children... have her seek counseling if you want her in the kids life.. it can be put in the orders...
even if its a no fault state there is something called sympathy its a human emotion and most people have it even judges know when something aint right... trust your gut.. if you think its wrong it probably is.
Hope this helps...
I dont tink the answers you have got here are of any value to you..
Yes there are a number of things you can do to correct the situation.
1) make a record of the enviroments your children are put in with date and
time, you know? (the who, what, when, and where.)
(if its an un healthy lifestlye your kids are being exposed to its a crime
emotionaly damaging to the children)
2) Once you have the evidence you may file for a temporary restraining order.
do this ASAP.. (remember the one who files first usualy wins if there ever
is a winner)..
3) file for the divorce and custody first, you probably wont get full custody
unless shes a crack head but it shows you are willing to take the lead
and responsibility..
4) Report every incedent to the police/child protective office and to the courts, get it documented.
5) always be the first to do something or you may end up with nothing?
I have seen many friends and their children loose because they wanted to be the nice guy... It dont work all the time.. you have to be firm and agreesive if you realy care for your children... have her seek counseling if you want her in the kids life.. it can be put in the orders...
even if its a no fault state there is something called sympathy its a human emotion and most people have it even judges know when something aint right... trust your gut.. if you think its wrong it probably is.
Hope this helps...
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Proserpina
Senior Member
And why would that be?
Nonsense.
COMPLETE and utter nonsense!
Nonsense. It shows that he made it to the courthouse first. NOTHING more.
You're new at this, aren't you?
Baloney.
No, this likely does not help seeing as it contains NO LEGAL INFORMATION WHATSOEVER.
Now I'm being rather gentle with you, because you're a newbie.
But I strongly suggest that you NOT answer posts unless you're able to offer legally accurate information.
Silverplum
Senior Member
According to you. Please post state-specific legal citations to back this up.monk36 said:
If your "advice" had any legal value whatsoever, it would be codified.monk36 said:
I know allot of people may not agree to what I said but its true... I have been through divorce and child support twice. I have proven to the courts what this man is trying to say.. It is not hard. I speak from experience..
while it may be legal for a woman or man to have multiple partners it can be damaging to children and in some cases considered to be emosionaly abusive depending on the circumstances if not confronted the right way..
"For a parent to have multiple partners is very confusing for the child/children and when it becomes emotionaly hard for a child to deal with, its a form of abuse.."
Thats what the judge in colorado said to my ex-wife. it was generated from a statement writen from the child psychologist who examined my boys..
The children would get to like a person and then the mother and him have a fight and hes gone and this would happen over and over. Until my children didnt want to meet anyone. They would cause her problems at home and in school then throw fits and pretend to be sick.. It was way out of control..
Dont let it get that far Rob..
How do any of your posts help him or his children? you tell him he and his children have no rights.. They do.. Everyone has rights and so does his children.
Definitions of Child Abuse and Neglect: Summary of State Laws
Email Print (PDF 665 KB) Share
Rate This 3.7/5, 3 Reviews Series: State Statutes
Author(s): Child Welfare Information Gateway
Year Published: 2009
Current through July 2009
This brief introduction summarizes how States address this topic in statute. To access the statutes for a specific State or territory, visit the State Statutes Search.
Child abuse and neglect are defined by Federal and State laws. The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) provides minimum standards that States must incorporate in their statutory definitions of child abuse and neglect. The CAPTA definition of "child abuse and neglect," at a minimum, refers to:
"Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker, which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse, or exploitation, or an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm"1
The CAPTA definition of "sexual abuse" includes:
"The employment, use, persuasion, inducement, enticement, or coercion of any child to engage in, or assist any other person to engage in, any sexually explicit conduct or simulation of such conduct for the purpose of producing a visual depiction of such conduct; or
The rape, and in cases of caretaker or interfamilial relationships, statutory rape, molestation, prostitution, or other form of sexual exploitation of children, or incest with children"2
(Back to Top)
Types of Abuse
Nearly all States, the District of Columbia, American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands provide civil definitions of child abuse and neglect in statute.3 As applied to reporting statutes, these definitions determine the grounds for intervention by State child protective agencies.4 States recognize the different types of abuse in their definitions, including physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. Some States also provide definitions in statute for parental substance abuse and/or for abandonment as child abuse.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is generally defined as "any nonaccidental physical injury to the child" and can include striking, kicking, burning, or biting the child, or any action that results in a physical impairment of the child. In approximately 38 States and American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands, the definition of abuse also includes acts or circumstances that threaten the child with harm or create a substantial risk of harm to the child's health or welfare.5
Neglect
Neglect is frequently defined as the failure of a parent or other person with responsibility for the child to provide needed food, clothing, shelter, medical care, or supervision such that the child's health, safety, and well-being are threatened with harm. Approximately 24 States, the District of Columbia, American Samoa, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands include failure to educate the child as required by law in their definition of neglect.6 Seven States specifically define medical neglect as failing to provide any special medical treatment or mental health care needed by the child.7 In addition, four States define as medical neglect the withholding of medical treatment or nutrition from disabled infants with life-threatening conditions.8
Sexual Abuse/Exploitation
All States include sexual abuse in their definitions of child abuse. Some States refer in general terms to sexual abuse, while others specify various acts as sexual abuse. Sexual exploitation is an element of the definition of sexual abuse in most jurisdictions. Sexual exploitation includes allowing the child to engage in prostitution or in the production of child pornography.
Emotional Abuse
Almost all States, the District of Columbia, American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands include emotional maltreatment as part of their definitions of abuse or neglect.9 Approximately 32 States, the District of Columbia, the Northern Mariana Islands, and Puerto Rico provide specific definitions of emotional abuse or mental injury to a child.10 Typical language used in these definitions is "injury to the psychological capacity or emotional stability of the child as evidenced by an observable or substantial change in behavior, emotional response, or cognition," or as evidenced by "anxiety, depression, withdrawal, or aggressive behavior."
Parental Substance Abuse
Parental substance abuse is an element of the definition of child abuse or neglect in some States.11 Circumstances that are considered abuse or neglect in some States include:
Prenatal exposure of a child to harm due to the mother's use of an illegal drug or other substance (14 States and the District of Columbia)12
Manufacture of a controlled substance in the presence of a child or on the premises occupied by a child (10 States)13
Allowing a child to be present where the chemicals or equipment for the manufacture of controlled substances are used or stored (three States)14
Selling, distributing, or giving drugs or alcohol to a child (seven States and Guam)15
Use of a controlled substance by a caregiver that impairs the caregiver's ability to adequately care for the child (seven States)16
Abandonment
Approximately 17 States and the District of Columbia include abandonment in their definition of abuse or neglect, generally as a type of neglect.17 Approximately 18 States, Guam, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands provide definitions for abandonment that are separate from the definition of neglect.18 In general, it is considered abandonment of the child when the parent's identity or whereabouts are unknown, the child has been left by the parent in circumstances in which the child suffers serious harm, or the parent has failed to maintain contact with the child or to provide reasonable support for a specified period of time.
(Back to Top)
Standards for Reporting
Generally speaking, a report must be made when an individual knows or has reasonable cause to believe or suspect that a child has been subjected to abuse or neglect. These standards guide mandatory reporters in deciding whether to make a report to child protective services.
(Back to Top)
Persons Responsible for the Child
In addition to defining acts or omissions that constitute child abuse or neglect, several States' statutes provide specific definitions of persons who can be reported to child protective services as perpetrators of abuse or neglect. These are persons who have some relationship or regular responsibility for the child. This generally includes parents, guardians, foster parents, relatives, or other caregivers responsible for the child's welfare.
(Back to Top)
Exceptions
A number of States provide exceptions in their reporting laws that exempt certain acts or omissions from their statutory definitions of child abuse and neglect. For instance, in 12 States and the District of Columbia, financial inability to provide for a child is exempted from the definition of neglect.19 In 16 States, the District of Columbia, American Samoa, and the Northern Mariana Islands, physical discipline of a child, as long as it is reasonable and causes no bodily injury to the child, is an exception to the definition of abuse.20
The CAPTA amendments of 1996 added provisions specifying that nothing in the Act be construed as establishing a Federal requirement that a parent or legal guardian provide any medical service or treatment that is against the religious beliefs of the parent or legal guardian (42 U.S.C. § 5106i). At the State level, 31 States, the District of Columbia, Guam, and Puerto Rico provide in their civil child abuse reporting laws an exception to the definition of child abuse and neglect for parents who choose not to seek medical care for their children due to religious beliefs.21 However, 16 of the 31 States and Puerto Rico authorize the court to order medical treatment for the child when the child's condition warrants intervention.22 Three States specifically provide an exception for Christian Science treatment.23 Five States require mandated reporters to report instances when a child is not receiving medical care so that an investigation can be made.24
Each state hase there own definition on abuse, you have to do your own homework of course to find out what is considered abuse but for california and colorado I know when my children were crying to me and their counselors at school about how many men were coming in and out of her life. It was heart breaking
while it may be legal for a woman or man to have multiple partners it can be damaging to children and in some cases considered to be emosionaly abusive depending on the circumstances if not confronted the right way..
"For a parent to have multiple partners is very confusing for the child/children and when it becomes emotionaly hard for a child to deal with, its a form of abuse.."
Thats what the judge in colorado said to my ex-wife. it was generated from a statement writen from the child psychologist who examined my boys..
The children would get to like a person and then the mother and him have a fight and hes gone and this would happen over and over. Until my children didnt want to meet anyone. They would cause her problems at home and in school then throw fits and pretend to be sick.. It was way out of control..
Dont let it get that far Rob..
How do any of your posts help him or his children? you tell him he and his children have no rights.. They do.. Everyone has rights and so does his children.
Definitions of Child Abuse and Neglect: Summary of State Laws
Email Print (PDF 665 KB) Share
Rate This 3.7/5, 3 Reviews Series: State Statutes
Author(s): Child Welfare Information Gateway
Year Published: 2009
Current through July 2009
This brief introduction summarizes how States address this topic in statute. To access the statutes for a specific State or territory, visit the State Statutes Search.
Child abuse and neglect are defined by Federal and State laws. The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) provides minimum standards that States must incorporate in their statutory definitions of child abuse and neglect. The CAPTA definition of "child abuse and neglect," at a minimum, refers to:
"Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker, which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse, or exploitation, or an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm"1
The CAPTA definition of "sexual abuse" includes:
"The employment, use, persuasion, inducement, enticement, or coercion of any child to engage in, or assist any other person to engage in, any sexually explicit conduct or simulation of such conduct for the purpose of producing a visual depiction of such conduct; or
The rape, and in cases of caretaker or interfamilial relationships, statutory rape, molestation, prostitution, or other form of sexual exploitation of children, or incest with children"2
(Back to Top)
Types of Abuse
Nearly all States, the District of Columbia, American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands provide civil definitions of child abuse and neglect in statute.3 As applied to reporting statutes, these definitions determine the grounds for intervention by State child protective agencies.4 States recognize the different types of abuse in their definitions, including physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. Some States also provide definitions in statute for parental substance abuse and/or for abandonment as child abuse.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is generally defined as "any nonaccidental physical injury to the child" and can include striking, kicking, burning, or biting the child, or any action that results in a physical impairment of the child. In approximately 38 States and American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands, the definition of abuse also includes acts or circumstances that threaten the child with harm or create a substantial risk of harm to the child's health or welfare.5
Neglect
Neglect is frequently defined as the failure of a parent or other person with responsibility for the child to provide needed food, clothing, shelter, medical care, or supervision such that the child's health, safety, and well-being are threatened with harm. Approximately 24 States, the District of Columbia, American Samoa, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands include failure to educate the child as required by law in their definition of neglect.6 Seven States specifically define medical neglect as failing to provide any special medical treatment or mental health care needed by the child.7 In addition, four States define as medical neglect the withholding of medical treatment or nutrition from disabled infants with life-threatening conditions.8
Sexual Abuse/Exploitation
All States include sexual abuse in their definitions of child abuse. Some States refer in general terms to sexual abuse, while others specify various acts as sexual abuse. Sexual exploitation is an element of the definition of sexual abuse in most jurisdictions. Sexual exploitation includes allowing the child to engage in prostitution or in the production of child pornography.
Emotional Abuse
Almost all States, the District of Columbia, American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands include emotional maltreatment as part of their definitions of abuse or neglect.9 Approximately 32 States, the District of Columbia, the Northern Mariana Islands, and Puerto Rico provide specific definitions of emotional abuse or mental injury to a child.10 Typical language used in these definitions is "injury to the psychological capacity or emotional stability of the child as evidenced by an observable or substantial change in behavior, emotional response, or cognition," or as evidenced by "anxiety, depression, withdrawal, or aggressive behavior."
Parental Substance Abuse
Parental substance abuse is an element of the definition of child abuse or neglect in some States.11 Circumstances that are considered abuse or neglect in some States include:
Prenatal exposure of a child to harm due to the mother's use of an illegal drug or other substance (14 States and the District of Columbia)12
Manufacture of a controlled substance in the presence of a child or on the premises occupied by a child (10 States)13
Allowing a child to be present where the chemicals or equipment for the manufacture of controlled substances are used or stored (three States)14
Selling, distributing, or giving drugs or alcohol to a child (seven States and Guam)15
Use of a controlled substance by a caregiver that impairs the caregiver's ability to adequately care for the child (seven States)16
Abandonment
Approximately 17 States and the District of Columbia include abandonment in their definition of abuse or neglect, generally as a type of neglect.17 Approximately 18 States, Guam, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands provide definitions for abandonment that are separate from the definition of neglect.18 In general, it is considered abandonment of the child when the parent's identity or whereabouts are unknown, the child has been left by the parent in circumstances in which the child suffers serious harm, or the parent has failed to maintain contact with the child or to provide reasonable support for a specified period of time.
(Back to Top)
Standards for Reporting
Generally speaking, a report must be made when an individual knows or has reasonable cause to believe or suspect that a child has been subjected to abuse or neglect. These standards guide mandatory reporters in deciding whether to make a report to child protective services.
(Back to Top)
Persons Responsible for the Child
In addition to defining acts or omissions that constitute child abuse or neglect, several States' statutes provide specific definitions of persons who can be reported to child protective services as perpetrators of abuse or neglect. These are persons who have some relationship or regular responsibility for the child. This generally includes parents, guardians, foster parents, relatives, or other caregivers responsible for the child's welfare.
(Back to Top)
Exceptions
A number of States provide exceptions in their reporting laws that exempt certain acts or omissions from their statutory definitions of child abuse and neglect. For instance, in 12 States and the District of Columbia, financial inability to provide for a child is exempted from the definition of neglect.19 In 16 States, the District of Columbia, American Samoa, and the Northern Mariana Islands, physical discipline of a child, as long as it is reasonable and causes no bodily injury to the child, is an exception to the definition of abuse.20
The CAPTA amendments of 1996 added provisions specifying that nothing in the Act be construed as establishing a Federal requirement that a parent or legal guardian provide any medical service or treatment that is against the religious beliefs of the parent or legal guardian (42 U.S.C. § 5106i). At the State level, 31 States, the District of Columbia, Guam, and Puerto Rico provide in their civil child abuse reporting laws an exception to the definition of child abuse and neglect for parents who choose not to seek medical care for their children due to religious beliefs.21 However, 16 of the 31 States and Puerto Rico authorize the court to order medical treatment for the child when the child's condition warrants intervention.22 Three States specifically provide an exception for Christian Science treatment.23 Five States require mandated reporters to report instances when a child is not receiving medical care so that an investigation can be made.24
Each state hase there own definition on abuse, you have to do your own homework of course to find out what is considered abuse but for california and colorado I know when my children were crying to me and their counselors at school about how many men were coming in and out of her life. It was heart breaking
Last edited:
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