sacrdhazel
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY
I am a 31 year old mother of twin 5 year olds. I have been seperated from my husband for about 4 years. During that time the children resided with me and there was no formal paperwork drawn up. In 2008 I was involved in a domestic violence relationship which resulted in me putting the man in jail. In 2009, my husband caught wind of this and dragged me to court for sole custody. At the time I was in no shape to care for the children so I did not fight and handed the children over with paperwork stipulating supervised visits and a very minimal visitation schedule. During the tie that happened (June 2009) and today.. I have made a complete change to my situation. I have been paying him child support bi-weekly by check with no formal order for over a year. I have worked steadily at my job for over a year. My husband had went against the order and started letting me see the girls 50% of each month since the end of last year. I had them practically the whole summer, paid $2500 for camp... paid for uniforms for school... split extra curriculiar activities with him... have taken them on vacations... and have just had an all around terrific relationship with my children. I am currently enrolled in nursing school, have a healthy loving relationship with a man who my children love.. have made an effort to successfully pay off all debts, and have basically made a complete come back from the sad place I was 16 months ago.
With that being said, in between all of this, my husband has maliciously used the girls as a leverage piece to get things from me. If he gets upset about something, he will block me from calling the children or he will refer back to the original paperwork and I will go days to weeks without seeing them. He borderline harasses me via text and phone whenever he feels like he needs to control a situation. This most recent incident, he wants me to sign divorce paperwork without a lawyer and I told him I will not and he has again not allowed me access to the children. It has been an ongoing roller coaster ride for the past 9 months. He has boxed me out of thier school.. making me look like a monster and the teachers wouldnt talk to me last year. The girls needed to bring in a note to say if I was picking them up. All in all.. I have been going above and beyond to please him so long as I can see the children. I am FAR from a bad mother, I was just in a bad spot at one time of my life and I admitted it in the best interest of the children. I feel at this point he is now just being a control freak to get what he wants and will use the children to get his way.
I hired a lawyer back in April and gave him a retainer. He has done NOTHING since then. I actually called him yesterday crying and begging him to finally do something because I can not live this way and the girls shouldnt either. The lawyer has informed me that because the divorce is pending in Supreme Court... Family Court wont see me... is this true? Please ... if anyone has any advice for me.. I can really use it.
Allison
I am a 31 year old mother of twin 5 year olds. I have been seperated from my husband for about 4 years. During that time the children resided with me and there was no formal paperwork drawn up. In 2008 I was involved in a domestic violence relationship which resulted in me putting the man in jail. In 2009, my husband caught wind of this and dragged me to court for sole custody. At the time I was in no shape to care for the children so I did not fight and handed the children over with paperwork stipulating supervised visits and a very minimal visitation schedule. During the tie that happened (June 2009) and today.. I have made a complete change to my situation. I have been paying him child support bi-weekly by check with no formal order for over a year. I have worked steadily at my job for over a year. My husband had went against the order and started letting me see the girls 50% of each month since the end of last year. I had them practically the whole summer, paid $2500 for camp... paid for uniforms for school... split extra curriculiar activities with him... have taken them on vacations... and have just had an all around terrific relationship with my children. I am currently enrolled in nursing school, have a healthy loving relationship with a man who my children love.. have made an effort to successfully pay off all debts, and have basically made a complete come back from the sad place I was 16 months ago.
With that being said, in between all of this, my husband has maliciously used the girls as a leverage piece to get things from me. If he gets upset about something, he will block me from calling the children or he will refer back to the original paperwork and I will go days to weeks without seeing them. He borderline harasses me via text and phone whenever he feels like he needs to control a situation. This most recent incident, he wants me to sign divorce paperwork without a lawyer and I told him I will not and he has again not allowed me access to the children. It has been an ongoing roller coaster ride for the past 9 months. He has boxed me out of thier school.. making me look like a monster and the teachers wouldnt talk to me last year. The girls needed to bring in a note to say if I was picking them up. All in all.. I have been going above and beyond to please him so long as I can see the children. I am FAR from a bad mother, I was just in a bad spot at one time of my life and I admitted it in the best interest of the children. I feel at this point he is now just being a control freak to get what he wants and will use the children to get his way.
I hired a lawyer back in April and gave him a retainer. He has done NOTHING since then. I actually called him yesterday crying and begging him to finally do something because I can not live this way and the girls shouldnt either. The lawyer has informed me that because the divorce is pending in Supreme Court... Family Court wont see me... is this true? Please ... if anyone has any advice for me.. I can really use it.
Allison