Custody

[CanIWIN]

What is the name of your state? OKLAHOMA

Im going through a visitation case right now. Court will continue in Nov. Over the weekend i had my children 11 & 12. Im married and have a step-daughter as well. My step-daughter told her mom(my wife) while i was taking my children back home. That my son stated to her he had been having sex in SCHOOL (oral sex) my daughter also confirmed his statement by saying she told him not to be doing that. First thing in the morning im headed to the school along with a call to my childrens mother. Ive been telling her for the past year,that my son's hormones have been raging..Now with this information surfacing im looking to ask for custody .

Ill be looking into some counseling classes for my son along with some discipline

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? OKLAHOMA

Im going through a visitation case right now. Court will continue in Nov. Over the weekend i had my children 11 & 12. Im married and have a step-daughter as well. My step-daughter told her mom(my wife) while i was taking my children back home. That my son stated to her he had been having sex in SCHOOL (oral sex) my daughter also confirmed his statement by saying she told him not to be doing that. First thing in the morning im headed to the school along with a call to my childrens mother. Ive been telling her for the past year,that my son's hormones have been raging..Now with this information surfacing im looking to ask for custody .

Ill be looking into some counseling classes for my son along with some discipline

You want to get custody based on your son having oral sex in school? Did your mom know every time you had sex? Should your mom have been deprived of custody because of YOUR behavior?

 

[LdiJ]

Ditto what Ohiogal said....no way is that a basis for a custody change.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state? OKLAHOMA

Im going through a visitation case right now. Court will continue in Nov. Over the weekend i had my children 11 & 12. Im married and have a step-daughter as well. My step-daughter told her mom(my wife) while i was taking my children back home. That my son stated to her he had been having sex in SCHOOL (oral sex) my daughter also confirmed his statement by saying she told him not to be doing that. First thing in the morning im headed to the school along with a call to my childrens mother. Ive been telling her for the past year,that my son's hormones have been raging..Now with this information surfacing im looking to ask for custody .

Ill be looking into some counseling classes for my son along with some discipline

And how do you know that Mom even knows about it? Maybe instead of fighting over custody, you and Mom should consider working together to help keep your son from being a teenage Daddy.

 

[GrowUp!]

What is the name of your state? OKLAHOMA

Im going through a visitation case right now. Court will continue in Nov. Over the weekend i had my children 11 & 12. Im married and have a step-daughter as well. My step-daughter told her mom(my wife) while i was taking my children back home. That my son stated to her he had been having sex in SCHOOL (oral sex) my daughter also confirmed his statement by saying she told him not to be doing that. First thing in the morning im headed to the school along with a call to my childrens mother. Ive been telling her for the past year,that my son's hormones have been raging..Now with this information surfacing im looking to ask for custody .

Ill be looking into some counseling classes for my son along with some discipline

This is a joke...right?!

So you honestly believe that IF Jr. comes and lives with you, that his hormones will stop raging? And what miraculous thing will you do? Cut Mr. Happy off? Are all the girls in your town fugly? You mean to tell me you never went through this as a pre-teen (well kids are going through it early, like girls do with development because of all the hormones and crap being put in food today...but that's not the point). I noticed how you immediately talk about filing for a change in custody and scolding the school.

How about taking some responsibility and sitting Junior down and having that father-son talk.

 

[stealth2]

How about taking some responsibility and sitting Junior down and having that father-son talk.

Have a father-daughter one while you're at it.

Lord - we've been having those talks for years now. What the consequences are of all types of sex. From all possible perspectives. LOL My son (nearly 15) takes loooooooooong showers. One day we were at my parents and he was having one after a game and my mom said to me "My GOd, he takes a long shower! What is he DOING up there?" Ma - he's 14, almost 15 - what do you THINK he's doing up there? (Yes, she also had a son.) Sure, raging hormones - it's our job as parents to help our kids through it.

 

[GrowUp!]

Have a father-daughter one while you're at it.

Lord - we've been having those talks for years now. What the consequences are of all types of sex. From all possible perspectives. LOL My son (nearly 15) takes loooooooooong showers. One day we were at my parents and he was having one after a game and my mom said to me "My GOd, he takes a long shower! What is he DOING up there?" Ma - he's 14, almost 15 - what do you THINK he's doing up there? (Yes, she also had a son.) Sure, raging hormones - it's our job as parents to help our kids through it.

You got that right. I also forgot to add that the OP better just isolate the kids from outside civilization completely because sexual images are on magazines, the TV adn the internet. Clearly he's more interested in pointing fingers that realizing he's growing up and experiencing normal feelings.

 

[CanIWIN]

No im not interested in pointing fingers as i said im going through visitation right now for more time. She doesnt allow for me to have more time. Just maybe if i had more time this could of been prevented also maybe if my son was at another school this could of been prevented. I have talked to their mom about changing schools countless of times because the school isnt an average school. Its a below average school and they were suppose to close down two years ago. This is why im scolding her,the school & my son. Again i only have 4 days a month & when there in an enviroment like that for the remaining month my influence is very little

 

[CanIWIN]

And how do you know that Mom even knows about it? Maybe instead of fighting over custody, you and Mom should consider working together to help keep your son from being a teenage Daddy.

Stealth2 Ive been trying to work things out with there mom. Again its not possible thats why im in court fighting for more visitation

 

[olliesnotwell]

And how do you know that Mom even knows about it? Maybe instead of fighting over custody, you and Mom should consider working together to help keep your son from being a teenage Daddy.

Ive read THOUSANDS of stealth's post and on this one i totally agree

 

[Ohiogal]

No im not interested in pointing fingers as i said im going through visitation right now for more time. She doesnt allow for me to have more time. Just maybe if i had more time this could of been prevented also maybe if my son was at another school this could of been prevented. I have talked to their mom about changing schools countless of times because the school isnt an average school. Its a below average school and they were suppose to close down two years ago. This is why im scolding her,the school & my son. Again i only have 4 days a month & when there in an enviroment like that for the remaining month my influence is very little

You would get a lot further if you showed that you have tried to be reasonable and speak to mom about the situation and offer constructive solutions rather than walking into court and having a hissy fit. The court would respect you more as a parent and not look at you as a controlling jerk which is how you will come across if you walk in and start blaming mom for juniors hormones.

 

[LdiJ]

No im not interested in pointing fingers as i said im going through visitation right now for more time. She doesnt allow for me to have more time. Just maybe if i had more time this could of been prevented also maybe if my son was at another school this could of been prevented. I have talked to their mom about changing schools countless of times because the school isnt an average school. Its a below average school and they were suppose to close down two years ago. This is why im scolding her,the school & my son. Again i only have 4 days a month & when there in an enviroment like that for the remaining month my influence is very little

Dad....I do understand how you feel, but you have to realize that sexual issues are going to be a factor whether you have more time with the child or not. Changing schools also isn't likely to make a significant difference either. If your child is failing academically then you have a basis to argue that changing schools might be in his best interest. Otherwise, no.

Believe me, a judge is NOT going to change custody over something like this. You may believe that you could do a better job raising your son and preventing him from engaging in this sort of activity, but what this really needs is both parents on the same page...and communicating.

"Scolding mom" is NOT communicating. Blaming mom because your son is taking advantage of sexual opportunities is not co-parenting either. Even scolding the school may not be the wisest move, because it has the potential to really humiliate your son.
You shouldn't even be scolding your son either....you should be seriously talking to him about sex.

If you live close enough that its feasible for you to have more time with your children than every other weekend, then by all means continue to fight for that. However you are not going to get a custody change over this. Its just not going to happen.