Dad getting to see kids finally after 3 years!

[feastervilee]

undefined What is the name of your state?ME
I'm Finally going to see me kids after three years, they are 5 & 7 now. They moved across country 3 years ago and mom would never agree with some sort of visiation. Finally i got approved for a loan and got a lawyer and modified visitations, at the same time my child support got reviewed and tripled, i'm left with a little over 200.00bucks a week to pay for my daily living expenses. I realize i have to pay support i'm not complaining. But I've requested to the mother that she provide ("help" is the word i used to her) clothes for them while they are here. She is sending 2 outfits and one pair of shoes, for a month visitation to me Here's a copy of what she EXACLTY said.


i will send a 2 outfits. You will need to purchase things for them while they are there. I will also be sending a pair of shoes. I simply do not have the money to go out and purchase all this stuff just for you. I have yet to receive the higher child support amount.

They do not wear pajamas at my house so I don't have any of those. Their feet have been growing too much to have multiple shoes right now. I also do not plan to carry movies or toys on the plane. It is too much of a hassle.

I'm i asking to much i've ask for stuff they already have never once did i request she go out and buy stuff. With the money situtation i'm in now i can't provide much to them either, so what harm is it? Can i get some advice on how to answer this to her without being a jerk?

 

[MomInNE]

???

In my state Nebraska
My husbands lawyer said that the custodial parent is to pack a bag of clothes for the visitation.
We have clothes her for my husbands daughter. Just because CP packs 3 shirts and no pants and 5 pairs of socks.????? I don't understand that but we are able to provided clothes for her here.
I'd ask your lawyer

 

[feastervilee]

it wan't stipulated in any court papers to provide any clothing.... i was just asking her, with the new child support i can't afford to buy anything extra....court is making pay child support for the month i have them, so i'll have no extra money, family has bought most of their food for them while they are here.....
she's really a rotton person, anytime i try to ask a question i get snooty answers from her....
i just need help in responding to this last email from her...i've asked twice now if she'll send bathing suits and underwear she won't answer

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

Dear **selfish controlling bitch**

I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. I was not trying to imply that I want you to go out and buy the children a new wardrobe for their visitation. I am only requesting that you send their normal everyday clothes that they wear so they can be comfortable here and not have to wear the same two outfits for a month. They do have more than 2 outfits a piece, right? I think 5 outfits a piece along with underwear, socks, toothbrushes and a pair of shoes is not too much to ask. I will make sure they are washed and every article of clothing returned with the children. I am living on a very limited income as my child support has tripled and I do not have the means to go out and buy them a new wardrobe either.

The toys and movies are not really necessary but I wanted to make the transition from your home to mine to be as stress free as possible for the children since they haven't seen me in 3 years. I thought perhaps if they had some of their familiar items with them then they would feel more comfortable. This is all about the children and not about revenge.

I am sending a BCC of this email to my lawyer so there are no misunderstandings in the future.

Sincerely,
validated dad



If she refuses to send their clothes and belongings I suggest going to goodwill or the salvation army and picking up some things for them. You can get some stuffed animals and games, clothing etc for next to nothing. If she refuses there is not much you can do about this. Just keep plowing along and enjoy your time with the kids.

 

[feastervilee]

i copied and pasted that letter and here's her response: and i quote

I assumed you understood. I will be providing a couple outfits. This entails shirt, bottoms and underwear. I said I would provide a pair of shoes. That is one shoe for each foot per child. This is getting ridiculous. I am not going to itemize a list for you. If anything else comes with them, it comes with them. I do not know exactly everything that will be packed or forgotten at this time. When I get to Maine, I will be aware of what I have with me.

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

Well isn't she a freaking ray of sunshine. I don't envy you having to deal with the likes of her. Obviously she is more worried about pissing you off than making sure her kids are comfortable on their visit.

If I had clothes for that age bracket I'd be more than willing to send them to you but unfortunately I don't. I only have a toddler here. See if the lovely woman will tell you what sizes they wear and pick up some things from Good Will or you could even look around on Ebay or maybe some yard sales.

Good luck.

 

[butterfree]

I am real happy for you that you get to see your kids. Try not to worry about what they might not have when their with you because they have you, and just like "Smarty pants" said, you can buy cheap clothing at the Goodwill or even go to garage sales.

I even feel sorry for you dealing with her, even though some would say I am a malicious one.

When do you get them and for how long? Where do you live?

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

Oh geeez.....

 

[karma1]

Oy...

"I even feel sorry for you dealing with her, even though some would say I am a malicious one."



oh butternut....."SOME would say I (you) am a malicious one????"

wouldn't care to make that a poll would ya?

 

[frylover]

Oooh, oooh, oooh, can I vote?!?!?!

Hey feast, before you get all teary eyed at butterfrees kind words of support, someone should tell you she would make your ex look like Mother Theresa.

 

[feastervilee]

i will be getting them july 1st next thursday for a month....i haven't seen them in three years but i've stayed in constant contact with them.... i finally got a court order to see them every other weekend that went on for about one month then she took of to colorado, i live in maine and for the past three years she would not agree on any kind of visitation, seeing how she moved out there to keep them away from me...so we went back to court and now she has to bring them to my doorstep 5 o'clock next thursday....

i do have clothes for them now, it not so much that i want her to provide it, it's the principal of it....
i'm looking out for the kids, she's looking out to be as ignorant as possible never thinks how it might affect the kids......
this tuesday i have to go to a counlser with her, try to learn how to commuincate better , i really do try with her, but she's just so ignorant.....hopefully the counsler will see it and talk to her about it..
thanks everyone i'll keep you updated