Dad wants Custody for 3 year old Daughter

[Silverplum]

okay thank you.

We'd be happy to help him. FA is open 24/7.

 

[stealth2]

still has to work swing shifts so he doesn't have enough time.

How is it that many other single parents have time to raise their kids, work F/T, sleep, AND deal with their own legal issues. Yet so many need their new SO to do the legwork for them?

I don't understand.

 

[mistoffolees]

I just love how DAD "allowed" her to have joint custody. Like the judge was out getting a mani/pedi....

We don't know the facts. Dad may have 'allowed' it by not contesting. If Mom was on drugs at birth and Dad got sole custody, there's no guarantee that the judge would have awarded Mom joint custody even if she remained clean, so it IS possible that he 'allowed' it by not contesting it.

I of course will leave the logistics to them however I am planning on being around for a while and just want to see what I can do to help him. I'm not trying to to get involved in the whole matter but I kinda already am because I am dating him. So like it or not it is my business. I am really just trying to figure out how to help him the best I can. Why can't anyone just please try to help me help him. I am aware that she is going to be around for the next 15 years and I want it to be in the best intrest of his daughter. I am not trying to bring the past back I was just giving some background on the matter to see if it would made a difference in court and what not.

Just to expand upon what you've been told.

We see stepmothers and girlfriends here all the time who interfere in custody matters. In extreme cases, interference by a girlfriend or new wife (or boyfriend or new husband) can cost the parent custody. No one is saying that you're going to mess things up for your BF, but there's always that chance - and I'm sure you don't want to be responsible for that.

That's one of the big reasons why most volunteers here only help the actual parents. Your involvement could lose custody for your BF - no matter how good your intentions.

(Plus, there are usually details that the new BF/GF/SM/SD doesn't know and the details are often critical to getting a good answer).

It shouldn't be that hard for you to point him to this site and have him sign up with his own account.

We'd be happy to help him. FA is open 24/7.

Unless the bar and grill is open. We might still help, but I'm not sure the answers would be as useful.....

 

[Silverplum]

Unless the bar and grill is open. We might still help, but I'm not sure the answers would be as useful.....

I considered that, and decided it was worth the risk.

 

[Antigone*]

I considered that, and decided it was worth the risk.

Does that mean you will be joining us at the B&G, girl.

If it does, then y'all drinks are on me tonight!!!

 

[stealth2]

If it does, then y'all drinks are on me tonight!!!

On my way!

 

[Antigone*]

On my way!

Unfortunately I'm still at the office, won't be home for another four hours, but after that it is on like donkey kong

 

[stealth2]

Hmmm... I can handle a couple of rounds in the mean time...

 

[anearthw]

does dannyt have a twin

No, dannyt does not have a twin Does my previous post to that and my posting history look anything like dannyt? Apologies if I sounded like him, but it was just a suggestion.

 

[WittyUserName]

We don't know the facts. Dad may have 'allowed' it by not contesting. If Mom was on drugs at birth and Dad got sole custody, there's no guarantee that the judge would have awarded Mom joint custody even if she remained clean, so it IS possible that he 'allowed' it by not contesting it.

I know you know this, but for the sake of random readers and the OP - I think it's important to clarify that ultimately parents don't make the decision about custody. The problem with "Dad allowed it" is that the corollary to that is that "Dad can now pull his approval", which isn't necessarily the case. (Especially when posters have a really nebulous idea of what will matter to a judge - i.e. the ex has a new SO/works weird hours/doesn't believe in breastfeeding/lets the kid watch too much TV/eats McNuggets every meal, etc.) Just to be clear - unless parents can agree it'll be up to a judge.

But it seems like OP is at least willing to listen to and respect the sticky. Very cool.
And I hear the B & G is open?? I'm in.

 

[mistoffolees]

I know you know this, but for the sake of random readers and the OP - I think it's important to clarify that ultimately parents don't make the decision about custody. The problem with "Dad allowed it" is that the corollary to that is that "Dad can now pull his approval", which isn't necessarily the case. (Especially when posters have a really nebulous idea of what will matter to a judge - i.e. the ex has a new SO/works weird hours/doesn't believe in breastfeeding/lets the kid watch too much TV/eats McNuggets every meal, etc.) Just to be clear - unless parents can agree it'll be up to a judge.

Obviously, I agree.

The ideal situation is when the two parents agree - and then submit their proposed custody situation to the court so it can be finalized and made enforceable.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well what do the court orders actually state about custody/visitation and parenting time?

 

[dannyt]

myob

I of course will leave the logistics to them however I am planning on being around for a while and just want to see what I can do to help him. I'm not trying to to get involved in the whole matter but I kinda already am because I am dating him. So like it or not it is my business. I am really just trying to figure out how to help him the best I can. Why can't anyone just please try to help me help him. I am aware that she is going to be around for the next 15 years and I want it to be in the best intrest of his daughter. I am not trying to bring the past back I was just giving some background on the matter to see if it would made a difference in court and what not.

unless you helped create this child( which you did not) it is NOT YOUR BUSINESS. this is between mom and dad, and dad's current bed warmer(you) needs to stay out of it. unless of course you want to help dad lose his case with your involvement and get a severe tongue lashing by the judge

 

[Lovingmom1]

I of course will leave the logistics to them however I am planning on being around for a while and just want to see what I can do to help him. I'm not trying to to get involved in the whole matter but I kinda already am because I am dating him. So like it or not it is my business. I am really just trying to figure out how to help him the best I can. Why can't anyone just please try to help me help him. I am aware that she is going to be around for the next 15 years and I want it to be in the best intrest of his daughter. I am not trying to bring the past back I was just giving some background on the matter to see if it would made a difference in court and what not.

As someone who is dating a man who is still fighting the custody battle of his young child, I understand your need to try and fix this for your boyfriend, but you can't. Just listen to him and try to lend a sympathetic ear. Don't take a side, his or hers. Don't even offer any advice that isn't legal, because it puts you in the middle of a situation you don't want to be in the middle of...between him and the mother of his child. Allow his attorney to doll out the legal advice or encourage your boyfriend to come here on his own.