Daily Email Harrasement

[StampGirl]

What is the name of your state? California

I am not sure where to post this question so let me know if I need to move it.

I have been dealing with my Ex's emails everyday for almost 2 weeks now. He is attacking me, my mom watching the kids, the fact they don't go to daycare every single day (we pay by the day so its not costing him money by having them not go), the oldest ones grades and school she is attending, counseling (which he wont give permission for) and the fact the kids will miss one day in May because of my getting married. He thinks I have to send him a daily email letting him know if the kids went to afterschool care or not. This doesn't affect him as he doesn't pick them up. Is this something I need to do? There is no court order for payment of afterschool care. I asked him to help out and he agreed but I didn't know I would be subject to this kind of harassment.

It is a pretty well known fact that his Wifey is writing all the emails (he admitted to this a few times). There is nothing in our court order that I do not have to accept his email and as of this morning I have blocked his email address. Pls let me know if legally I can do this. He still has access to me by cell and work phones as well as my parents home phone if he needs me. I also am aware that he will try to access my email using various different email addresses and eventually resort to certified mail and/or dropping off letters at the pick-up/drop off of the kids.

I have been in and out of the dr office 4 times in the last 2 weeks since this began. I've been having severe nosebleeds (bleeding w/clots up to 30min) due to fluctuating blood pressure caused by the stress. I also have a red dots on my legs due to stress. Its ridiculous. I look like I have the measles!!

Can I file harassement charges or anything to get them to stop? I am fed up as it is affecting my health. He is maintaining that since he has legal joint custody that he is "entitled" to me giving him this daily information and notification.

Thanks for your help in advance.

 

[Zigner]

How about this -
If the email is from the ex, don't read it. Problem solved.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

What is the name of your state? California

I am not sure where to post this question so let me know if I need to move it.

I have been dealing with my Ex's emails everyday for almost 2 weeks now. He is attacking me, my mom watching the kids, the fact they don't go to daycare every single day (we pay by the day so its not costing him money by having them not go), the oldest ones grades and school she is attending, counseling (which he wont give permission for) and the fact the kids will miss one day in May because of my getting married. He thinks I have to send him a daily email letting him know if the kids went to afterschool care or not. This doesn't affect him as he doesn't pick them up. Is this something I need to do? There is no court order for payment of afterschool care. I asked him to help out and he agreed but I didn't know I would be subject to this kind of harassment.

It is a pretty well known fact that his Wifey is writing all the emails (he admitted to this a few times). There is nothing in our court order that I do not have to accept his email and as of this morning I have blocked his email address. Pls let me know if legally I can do this. He still has access to me by cell and work phones as well as my parents home phone if he needs me. I also am aware that he will try to access my email using various different email addresses and eventually resort to certified mail and/or dropping off letters at the pick-up/drop off of the kids.

I have been in and out of the dr office 4 times in the last 2 weeks since this began. I've been having severe nosebleeds (bleeding w/clots up to 30min) due to fluctuating blood pressure caused by the stress. I also have a red dots on my legs due to stress. Its ridiculous. I look like I have the measles!!

Can I file harassement charges or anything to get them to stop? I am fed up as it is affecting my health. He is maintaining that since he has legal joint custody that he is "entitled" to me giving him this daily information and notification.

Thanks for your help in advance.

Daily emails is ridiculous. I assume that there is NOTHING in the court order about this, right?

 

[StampGirl]

Daily emails is ridiculous. I assume that there is NOTHING in the court order about this, right?

No there isn't. There is nothing in the orders about communication whether it has to be written, telephone or email.

I have tried just ignoring the emails. It doesn't work. Someone told me that it would be better to block emails rather than allow them to go through. I can't remember who though, might have been my attorney when we got divorced.

 

[profmum]

You are giving him exactly what he wants by letting his emails affect your health. Save them and ignore them, he will stew, increase the frequency and then stop I promise you it is not worth it. I too have labile hypertension that used to sky rocket after emails with the ex, i finally realized, i dont even like my x, he is only important to me as a co-parent nothing more, why should anything he does be important enough to affect my health..? you should do the same! ps you can take meds to keep the hypertension stable during this stressful time. They help a lot

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

No there isn't. There is nothing in the orders about communication whether it has to be written, telephone or email.

I have tried just ignoring the emails. It doesn't work. Someone told me that it would be better to block emails rather than allow them to go through. I can't remember who though, might have been my attorney when we got divorced.

You can direct the emails into their own little folder that someone else can read.

 

[JacobJoel]

i was JUST going to tell you to block them.

and me, having the big mouth that i have, would TELL him "i know these are from your wife and i am blocking her emails."

but that would probably NOT be the thing to do.

 

[StampGirl]

i was JUST going to tell you to block them.

and me, having the big mouth that i have, would TELL him "i know these are from your wife and i am blocking her emails."

but that would probably NOT be the thing to do.

LOL I have done that before!!!

My other question is this: The sexual harrasement issue was dealt with through his police department (he is a cop) via my attorney of course awhile ago. Can I deal with this issue through them as well? Dropping a well placed phone call or email/letter etc? Or legally, can he send these and there isn't anything I can do about it?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

LOL I have done that before!!!

My other question is this: The sexual harrasement issue was dealt with through his police department (he is a cop) via my attorney of course awhile ago. Can I deal with this issue through them as well? Dropping a well placed phone call or email/letter etc? Or legally, can he send these and there isn't anything I can do about it?

What issue?

Now, this is not LEGAL advise. He can only get to you if you let him.

I know all about the email issue. I also have it. I can feel the heart palpitating just seeing the email address it comes from. So, I recommend getting yourself into a calm mood PRIOR to reading it and then saying .... will this matter in a week? year? ever? and let it go.

 

[momandsmom003]

LOL I have done that before!!!

My other question is this: The sexual harrasement issue was dealt with through his police department (he is a cop) via my attorney of course awhile ago. Can I deal with this issue through them as well? Dropping a well placed phone call or email/letter etc? Or legally, can he send these and there isn't anything I can do about it?

I don't know if they can prove that the e-mails are coming from HIM. Like you said, it is probably the nosey wife. If it's the same e-mail address, than either one of them could be sending them.

Block the e-mail address. The next time he calls or asks about afterschool care, etc. Tell him you will let him know on say, a every 2 week basis or something like that. Or better yet if the kids are old enough, he can ask them during his parenting time.

(Don't know how old kids are so if this last part doesn't make sense, that is why. I am trying to get to know everyone and their "status".

 

[StampGirl]

I feel the same way Ginny J. I cringe everytime I open my email account. Its gotten to where I don't do it at all over the weekends.

I would rather he use certified mail versus using email. Legally, can I block his email or do I have to accept it? With email, he and his Wifey have constant access. If he has to send regular mail, then he would have to go out of his way and might think before he sends it thus reducing the paperflood.

Or am I way off base with this one?

 

[StampGirl]

I don't know if they can prove that the e-mails are coming from HIM. Like you said, it is probably the nosey wife. If it's the same e-mail address, than either one of them could be sending them.

Block the e-mail address. The next time he calls or asks about afterschool care, etc. Tell him you will let him know on say, a every 2 week basis or something like that. Or better yet if the kids are old enough, he can ask them during his parenting time.

(Don't know how old kids are so if this last part doesn't make sense, that is why. I am trying to get to know everyone and their "status".

The kids are 12, 9 and 6. He does ask them every single day if they went. When the middle ones says "no" he asks why. She tells him "I don't know. Want to talk to Mom?" He then moves on to something else. That middle one is a smart cookie!!!

Ever since he got hammered by the mediator right before Xmas and didn't get what he wanted and lost time in fact, this has been a nightmare. Guess they have to have something to whine about. Its also been since he found out I was getting remarried. Ugh.

Btw, the after school care is for the two younger ones.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The only way to PROVE harrassment is to have the evidence in PRINT. Therefore, just have the emails directed right into their own little folder and open them whenever. If you can't handle the drama, have a disinterested party open them up for you.

 

[momandsmom003]

The kids are 12, 9 and 6. He does ask them every single day if they went. When the middle ones says "no" he asks why. She tells him "I don't know. Want to talk to Mom?" He then moves on to something else. That middle one is a smart cookie!!!

Ever since he got hammered by the mediator right before Xmas and didn't get what he wanted and lost time in fact, this has been a nightmare. Guess they have to have something to whine about. Its also been since he found out I was getting remarried. Ugh.

Btw, the after school care is for the two younger ones.

Thanks for helping me get a pic of who you are, nice to meet you!! So if he is asking them, then asking you b/c he want's to know why. My advice....Tell him what I tell my son when he asks me questions he doesn't need to know the answer to NUNA as in NUNA business, just know it isn't costing you and they were well taken care of, then of course wish him a nice day...

 

[JacobJoel]

Or

you could go totally opposite.

you could put a 'forward' on your email that sends them back to the husband's email (you can do this per email address in a lot of email programs now).

your 'forward' could include a note that says something like "just want to help you track the voluminous amount of email YOUR WIFE sends me"

and you can have both attorney's email addresses in the forwarding.

AND

you can set up a different email address, letting everyone you trust know about except him and his secretary/wife. only visit that email when you can stand it.

OR

you can do both.

Personally? i would do both.

cuzz i'm evil like that.

AND I WOULD LAUGH MY HEAD OFF WHEN DOING IT.

cuzz life is to blasted short.

you need to go rent any Tyler Perry Madea movie/play you can find. because his works are real life and have humor too. he's my new hero.