daycare expenses

[denverb]

What is the name of your state? minnesota

Has anyone had any experience with a situation like this at all? My ex just filed through dhs for me to pay daycare. ( apparently she has been working for a while but lied and said she wasn’t to try to get more cs out of me – it didn’t work). I filled out all of the paperwork and turned it in to the cs officer. I talked to her and she said that my ex is receiving a daycare subsidy. My child is in school and therefore is only in daycare for about 5 hours a week. However, my ex claims she is required to pay for 40 hours per week whether the child is there or not. The cs officer says she doesn’t feel it is fair for me to pay the entire amount of the subsidy since there is barely any actual daycare hours. She said she is setting the daycare amount that I am responsible for at $33/month. (fine with me!) But she did also say that she isn’t sure how exactly to calculate the amount and she is scheduling a hearing with the cs magistrate because she knows my ex will not agree to anything she decides (even if the cs officer had said that I have to pay the whole amount then my ex still would have taken it to court because she thinks that money needs to go directly to her even though it is required by law to go directly to the state to pay them back!)

Does anyone have any experience with this? Is it likely that the magistrate will overrule the cs officer and make me pay the whole amount even though the child is barely at the daycare?

The other thing is that my ex is the one who put herself in the situation where she needs to pay 40 hours per week of daycare for 5 hours of actual care. She moved last spring without telling me and refused to tell me where they lived other than which city. The courts let her get away with it because she claimed she was in fear of her life from her ex and was in safe housing ( a complete lie). I have joint legal custody. I am supposed to have some say in what is going on but I never do and the system just lets her do whatever she wants. If they hadn’t moved then I have someone who would be able to watch my child for that little time and there would be no daycare expenses at all. Don’t know if this makes a difference in the eyes of the law or not but just thought I’d mention it.

 

[VeronicaGia]

Not sure I'll be much help here, but she will need to prove her side of this.

She cannot just tell a judge this and expect a judge to believe her. Do you know the name of the daycare? Can you contact them?

 

[nextwife]

If her daycare provider will not make some adjustment in the price for half days, she needs a different daycare provider. My kid was at YMCA day care half days after K4, and they indeed charge differently for half days. Can YOU call this daycare and check it out, or other providers near her? Go to the hearing armed with a list of nearby provider's prices for half days.

 

[denverb]

that's what i think - she needs a different daycare provider! that's insane that she is wasting tax payers money by paying for 40 hours of daycare when she only needs 5! she refuses to answer any letters i send her about it (i refuse to talk to her on the phone - had to disconnect it to keep her from calling all day long and harassing my family). i will definitely look into getting a list of providors who charge for half days instead of whole days although i have heard from other sources that those are limited - at least private daycares anyway. thanks for the suggestion, i'll get right on that!

 

[VeronicaGia]

Also how old is the child? What about latchkey?

 

[denverb]

child is only 7 - too young for latchkey......although there is probably more maturity and responsibility on child's part than the mother's got!

 

[VeronicaGia]

child is only 7 - too young for latchkey......although there is probably more maturity and responsibility on child's part than the mother's got!

?? The child is in school. School has a latchkey I'm presuming. Are you saying the school only allows latchkey for certain ages? Hmmm, I thought latchkey was available to all school children?

 

[denverb]

sorry, i must have misunderstood you. i was thinking you meant for the child to be at home alone. i was going to look into what afterschool programs there might be but it's kind of hard to do when the mother refuses to tell me what school the child attends! (it's complicated - goes back to her "being in danger" from her ex - so they strip my rights because of her lies)

 

[nextwife]

VG, my kid's school does not have a latchkey program. They do offer programed activities at an extra cost certain days for a certain period of time. Ours does what I am sure many districts do, they have arraingments with several nearby daycare providers to have the school bus take them to afterschool daycare instead of home.

 

[bubbly602]

cheating the system

By daycare subsidy, do you mean state assistance with daycare? If so, and if your ex only has the kids in daycare 5 hours a week and the provider is getting paid for 40, you should report her to DHS. Daycare assistance is only supposed to pay what is absolutely necessary. Is the child in a center or a home daycare? My daughter goes to a home daycare. The provider's rate is $2.50 per hour. So if my child were in school and only attending the daycare for 5 hours per week, I would pay her 12.50 a week. On assistance, she would get paid $9 per day, the going part-time rate used by DHS for childcare assistance. And I have to prove to them every single hour that I need to have her in daycare. Just something you might think about looking into. Good luck.

(edit) also, I'm just curious whether daycare assistance has to be paid back out of child support? In Colorado, the only kind of public assistance that gets paid back is TANF(welfare) chilcare assistance, food stamps, and medicaid are not reimbursed to the state. (or at least, mine weren't.)

 

[denverb]

i don't know exactly what she is on. she was receiving either TNAF of MFIP (not sure which) but the cs officer told me she is no longer on that but she still has medical assistance and receives subsidized daycare. i am assuming that is state assistance because from what i have found about state assistance - once you're off of it you're still eligible for help with daycare. I believe that she is using home daycare - that's the impression that i got from her most recent ex - he said he talked to the provider himself and she doesn't give discounts for multiple children either. basically she makes you sign a contract that says whether the kids are there or not you pay for 40/week of daycare (a lot of places are like that - it's wrong but i suppose they have to make a living too). I talked to the daycare placement office and they are going to send me a list of all of the providers who offer part time daycare.

CSE already knows about paying for more than the kid is actually there - they are the ones who told me about it! They are the ones who said i shouldn't have to pay for when the child isn't there like the mother wants me to (she still doesn't understand the money goes to the state - not her!). i guess right now the county attorney is reviewing it and if she's doing something she's not supposed to then they will do something about it i would hope. i talked to a lawyer about it and he said that if cse and the county attorney agree that i should only pay a portion of the amount - since so little daycare is actually used - then that's most likely what the magistrate will decide since it is technically the county who is getting the money since it's a subsidy. he also said to bring a list of part-time providers to prove there are other options for her as was suggested here. i guess i'll have to wait and see what happens! i'm supposed to get the official papers either this week or early next week with cse's decision. The cs officer said she already scheduled a hearing for early march since she knows my ex is a complete nut and will disagree with everything she decides.

oh yeah, daycare is seperate from child support. in mn, 25% for one child for child support - and then daycare is on top of that amount depending on each parent's income. for regular anyways (i don't know about subsidized) 75% of the actual daycare costs are split between the two parents - the other 25% the cp is expected to pay because it is a write off on their taxes.

 

[bubbly602]

still cheating the system

When you say CSE, are you talking about Child support Enforcement, or are you talking about Social Services? They're two completely different agencies. If the CSE you're talking about is Child support enforcement, then you might want to consider going to the agency that handles daycare assistance where she's at and let them know they're being scalped. Social Services are generally very strict about how many hours they will pay. For example, If I am in school from 8 until 9 am, then again from 2 til 3:30 pm, I can only have my daughter in daycare for those hours. I have to work in between or withdraw her from daycare during those hours. Granted you're in a different state, but I'm sure the government won't appreciate the fact that they're paying more than is necessary, especially given the recent budget cuts most social services programs have had to make in their budgets. It may also be illegal for the provider to bill for full time care when she's only got the kids part-time. I know it is here. I really think that this is something you should check into because it may very well solve most of your problems with this issue. I wish you the best of luck and hope things work out for you.

 

[Grace_Adler]

It doesn't work the same here. As long as you are a full time student, they also allow you study time because otherwise, how will you pass school? You sure can't study when you have 2 or 3 little kids underfoot. It's impossible. So they will allow you a few hours for that.

I don't think all schools have latchkey. I have never heard of one and I have no idea what it is. I'm assuming some type of after school program. I'm pretty sure they don't have it here because if they did, I know a bunch of people would be using it. Also the some of the schools here will not bus your children to daycare and some daycares don't pick up. Everything is so spread out here, they just don't want send buses way across town to do that. Makes it really hard to send your child to daycare if you live outside the city limits and in a certain school district. I know a lot of people who have problems with this.

For me, full time daycare is $100 a week and part time/after school care is $60 a week if that helps give you any insight. The rest are about the same price.

 

[denverb]

Ok now I don’t know what the heck is going on for sure. I talked to the child care resource and referral in the town that she lives because apparently they handle the subsidized daycare. I told them the situation and they said that the state will only pay for daycare that is actually used. If she chooses to go to a daycare that charges for 40 hours no matter how much the child is actually there then she is responsible to make up the difference. I should have had them check to see what exactly she was doing but I didn’t. maybe I’ll have to call back. What I need to do also is see the numbers from the child support agency. The cs officer told me that she wasn’t going by the numbers that my ex gave because she doesn’t trust her. So she had to call the county that my ex’s other cs order is out of (2 other kids) to find out what info they had because apparently they had more accurate stuff. The cs officer said that my ex took the amount paid for daycare and divided it by 3 (there are 3 kids – only one is mine). The cs officer said that I shouldn’t have to pay that 1/3 because the child isn’t there for all of that time. So I’m assuming that whatever the state doesn’t pay my ex is paying? That’s very stupid on her part unless she thinks that I’m going to end up paying it all and she won’t have to pay anything. I’m hoping I’m going to be ok by bringing in the list of daycares that do part-time and show that she has other options and just wants to screw me over more than she already does! I don’t know how the heck she could pay for the extra daycare unless she’s using a credit card since that’s what she lives off of - $60,000 racked up in one year – can we say living beyond our means????

I pay $90 / week for full time daycare for the child my current wife and I have together but that’s cheaper than most places around here. The town that my ex moved to is even more expensive than that I’ve heard. I just don’t think the courts should make me pay for daycare that isn’t even being used when there are other options. Like I said before, I guess I’ll just have to wait and see when I get to court in march! I really hate waiting though. I’d just rather get it over with. Kind of like ripping a band aid off.

The bus company in the town where I live won’t drop kids off at daycare or anywhere else other than their designated drop off spot for where their home is. I haven’t quite figured out how I’m going to get my own child to school since her mother and I both have to be to work by 7 am. Good thing she’s only 5 months old and I have a while to figure that one out!

Thanks for the info and suggestions. The only thing that worries me is that the court is going to say I have to pay it all because my ex shouldn’t have to take her kids to different daycares (versus all 3 at the same one) but I say that’s not my problem because I’m not responsible for the other two kids! She chose to keep having kids (by the way – one more is due any day now - just what she needs - more child support and another kids life to screw up) she can deal with the consequences.