It's interesting the way people give help here. I am grateful for the information given to me and it was helpful. But don't judge me at all. I haven't been perfect, but I've been trying. I'm not trying to avoid a program. I'm actually fine with it as long as I am able to keep my home and keep my job, and keep my car. I would be no help to my daughter if I wasn't able to provide.
As far as getting her to my parents, I am woman enough to say "hey I can't do this by myself right now" I have never missed a weekly visistation, panel meeting, failed a drug test, piss and hair, but I know what's best for her.
As of now my job is locating me to NYC, I've searched there programs and they have some that are in the neighborhood and fit my schedule.
I have been released from jail for 6 months and doing do well. Most people go back in a short time. I have a great paying job, I was able to succeed and I'm enrolled in a higher education course.
The reason for me asking my parents to do this favor was because I knew that I would have not been able to go to their drug treatment program. Is that not woman enough? Is that not being a Mom trying to make a choice for her daugher??
This foreum is set up to help, not insult. I'm at work now making calls sending out emails to whomever is listening. And I'm being a whiner? What are you guys doing? You're whining about me whining....how does that help or make this foreum positive.
This post may make anyone on this forum (if there even ARE any) who had ANY respect for me lose whatever they had, but I feel the need to post it.
I am not judging you. I WAS you. When I was 19, I had two children. Yeah, out of wedlock. Crappy, sinful, etc. whatever. I was living with a man who was very abusive. My mom called CPS. I told them EVERYTHING and asked them to help me. They removed my kids from my home and gave me a reunification plan. The guy kicked me out of his home for telling them everything and I had nowhere to go. In the court proceedings they ran my criminal record-I had been arrested at 15 for drug possession and they used that to prove I needed rehab, even though I hadn't even DONE any drugs since before I got pregnant with my first child. They told me to go to rehab. I refused. I lived on the streets of Hollywood for a while and whined and moaned about how unfair they were and it was everyone else's fault, that I couldn't POSSIBLY do the things they were asking. I tried rehab and got kicked out of countless programs for my failure to follow the rules.
My littlest child was 2 months old when he was taken. I was little more than a kid myself. I wasted WAY TOO MUCH time screwing off and complaining. It was painful. I cried about my kids on a daily basis but did nothing to complete my case plan because it was "too hard".
When my littlest was about ten months old, I came to my senses. Time was running out FAST. I didn't want to go to some crappy rehab and be told what to do, but in order to get my kids back, I had no choice. I had to
humble myself for the sake of my children. I stopped whining and complaining, and started actually DOING WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. I decided I would not make an enemy of my social worker, but use her as an ally. I BUSTED my rear end. My kids came home to me when my littlest was TWENTY TWO months old. Even afer THAT I was supervised for a year and a half. I went to a year long rehab, 52 weeks of counseling, parenting classes, AA meetings several times a week, plus all the court dates with social workers and surprise visits and pop drug tests etc.
My life was not my own.
Social services first came to my home in February of 96, when my littlest was 2 months old. They didn't completey leave my life until he was THREE AND A HALF YEARS OLD. Sometimes I felt like I would NEVER completely be finished, that the things they expeected of me were unrealistic, etc. I just kept on plugging. I didn't have a car or a job, or a house at first. Those things have to come LATER, if you really CARE about getting your kid back.
There is no easy way out of this. Seriously. You are playing with FIRE. They have very strict laws in place for adopting out children under 2 if their parents don't straighten their crap out in time. I got my kids back JUST IN TIME. A couple more months and they would have started the proceedings to terminate my parental rights. You may not get to choose your parents to take your kid-you might just lose all rights and never see her again. Is your car, job, house worth that? I know i'd rather have my kids with me every day and be able to love them and hug them and live on a budget, than have a great job and car, and my kids off with some strange people for me to never see again.
THAT'S why I worked with drug addicted moms for two years as a mentor. Because I was one of them, and came out on top through hard work, perserverence, and love for my children. It IS possible.
You need to rethink your priorities. 
