difference of interpretations - your input?

[angeleyzad]

What is the name of your state? ME

I knew our new schedule was going to be a pain. My ex had a motion to modify, one of the main things he was looking to do was swap the weekend schedule so that he had our boys on the same weekend as his step-daughter. I was against it because of the schedule of my step-son and my nephews. The judge ordered that our schedule swap 3 times throughout the year - after Christmas vacation, after his February or April vacations, and after Summer vacation. The judge also put in the provision that if his vacation time included any part of either a Saturday or a Sunday, that I get the next weekend, even if it was supposed to be his, and we continue our alternating schedule after that. So, we swapped weekends after Christmas, the kids were supposed to be with him the first weekend if we had followed our original schedule, but, since we had to swap weekends, it became mine. No matter what, it would have been my weekend anyway with the judge's provision. But, to continue on the new schedule, the second weekend was his, and so on. Now we come to February vacation. He had February vacation, including the weekend at the end of vacation. In order to swap weekends again, the next weekend (this weekend coming up) would now become his weekend. But, due to the provision of the judge, I now get this weekend. Next weekend is also mine, due to the again swapped weekend schedule. This is where the problem lies. He does not want to go 2 weekends between his time (which could happen anyway, in order to swap the weekends, plus other holidays could cause that, such as Memorial and Labor Day Weekends). He keeps insisting that where this weekend is mine, the next weekend is his. (which, if this were the case, the schedule does not adjust). He is only looking at one part of the new provision. He will not listen to anything I say. He insists that he is coming to pick up the kids, and if I do not give them to him, he will file contempt.

I want to get your opinion on this ruling, and how you interpret it. I could see where he interprets it his way, which would be correct if the first part of the paragraph is not there to adjust the schedule. But, I am trying to get him to realize that you need to take both aspects into consideration.

Also, I have 2 different e-mails from him talking about switching weekends, and when we're supposed to switch. Is it just me, or did he blow his supposed contempt charge right out of the water? He claims that he's going to file contempt for not giving him what he thinks is his weekend, yet he's e-mailed me twice about swapping weekends (basically I have to do it on his terms, not according to the new order)

This is the provision:
b. The weekend rotation will be adjusted at predetermined points throughout the year. These points are after the Defendant's February/April vacation, after the Defendant's Summer vacation, and after the Defendant's Christmas vacation. When the Defendant's vacation time includes a weekend* (excerpt from judge: *includes a weekend means it includes at least part of either a Saturday or Sunday), the Plaintiff will have the children the weekend following these vacations, regardless if it was the defendant's scheduled weekend, and the rotation weekend schedule will continue thereafter.


I know one thing that my ex was upset about was he lost the provision that he had before to have the kids on the day of or the day after their birthday, because of his long travel. Now he only has them on their birthday if it falls on his regular weekend, otherwise he already has them the weekend before or after because of the EOW. This weekend happens to be our youngest's birthday.

 

[stealth2]

That's a ridiculous schedule. IMO.

 

[angeleyzad]

That's a ridiculous schedule. IMO.

I know, our schedule is crazy now...I did up a yearly calendar to show the weekend schedule changes, and it is very confusing...but, that's what thejudge ordered, my guess is as to not show preference to his extended family, or to my extended family. Now, I'm dealing with the first weekend swap that actually affects what would have been his weekend, and he's balking at it. I can't work with him with anything, I've tried many times, he ends up insulting me, and he has refused many times to speak with me directly - not good coparenting at all. He's told me many times that he see's that it's me and he just doesn't answer the phone. My sons have to leave a message, then he'll call back. If I leave a message, he won't call.

 

[angeleyzad]

another aspect...

I guess here's another issue - my ex has his lawyer convinced that he's right on the interpretation of this new order - he even went as far as telling me that an actual change in the weekend schedule doesn't have to take place in order for there to be an adjustment (a bit crazy, since and adjustment is a change). I had a consult with my lawyer (not that I can afford her retainer, after what I went through last year), and she agreed with me, that both provisions need to be taken into count, so that the weekend schedule does change. So, I guess I'm back at square one - one lawyer says one thing, another lawyer say the opposite.

Anyone else want to chime in here, to give your interpretation? The way I see it now, majority will rule.

 

[mommyof4]

b. The weekend rotation will be adjusted at predetermined points throughout the year. These points are after the Defendant's February/April vacation, after the Defendant's Summer vacation, and after the Defendant's Christmas vacation. When the Defendant's vacation time includes a weekend* (excerpt from judge: *includes a weekend means it includes at least part of either a Saturday or Sunday), the Plaintiff will have the children the weekend following these vacations, regardless if it was the defendant's scheduled weekend, and the rotation weekend schedule will continue thereafter.

The judge really did strive to make this as complicated as possible in order to remain to appear fair, huh?

Anyhoo...

The provision is very clear in it's wording. If the defendant's time with the children includes all or part of a weekend day, the next weekend is yours, regardless of whether or not this will allow you two weekends in a row. I don't even see where he could conclude that it was otherwise.

 

[GrowUp!]

This is the provision:
b. The weekend rotation will be adjusted at predetermined points throughout the year. These points are after the Defendant's February/April vacation, after the Defendant's Summer vacation, and after the Defendant's Christmas vacation. When the Defendant's vacation time includes a weekend* (excerpt from judge: *includes a weekend means it includes at least part of either a Saturday or Sunday), the Plaintiff will have the children the weekend following these vacations, regardless if it was the defendant's scheduled weekend, and the rotation weekend schedule will continue thereafter.

I had to read it like 5 times...but as I read it, the Plaitiff gets the following weekend AFTER the vacation, regardless, if the Defendant's vacation time includes a weekend. Actually it would have been better if it said "any weekend day".

So for example:
If D's vacation was THIS week and included Saturday and D's weekend was ALSO NEXT weekend, then P would get that weekend instead and then the schedule would go back per the order after that (which could mean that P could get 2 consec. weekends). OR was it meant to read where the weekends would begin to alternate as is after the vacation? Good Lord...my head is spinning.

 

[angeleyzad]

I had to read it like 5 times...but as I read it, the Plaitiff gets the following weekend AFTER the vacation, regardless, if the Defendant's vacation time includes a weekend. Actually it would have been better if it said "any weekend day".

So for example:
If D's vacation was THIS week and included Saturday and D's weekend was ALSO NEXT weekend, then P would get that weekend instead and then the schedule would go back per the order after that (which could mean that P could get 2 consec. weekends). OR was it meant to read where the weekends would begin to alternate as is after the vacation? Good Lord...my head is spinning.

Yes, I know it's confusing. That's the problem. He's reading only the end of the provision, not the beginning. If we didn't have to swap weekends, then he would be right. But, wehere we have to swap weekends, it ends up that I have the kids 2 weekends in a row.

If I have the kids this weekend (because of the provision from the judge), and he has them next weekend, then there is no swap of weekends.

I'm happy to see that you guys think the same way as me - he keeps telling me that I'm delusional and not rational...all because I won't let him get his way. He feels that he won the last time in court, which he didn't really get everything that he wanted; but, he's let it go to his head, now he thinks that he's invincible. He keeps threatening that he's going to keep taking me back to court so that we loose all our money.

 

[mommyof4]

Okay, just a matter of logic...(I know. Logic, schmogic. ) You cannot "swap" alternating weekends without someone winding up with two weekends in a row. You just can't.

 

[Gemini]

I love a good puzzle but this is crazy!

Let's try it this way as an example. Your ex had visitation from Monday, Feb. 26th through this Sunday, March 4th and was scheduled under the "old" order to have had Friday March 9th. Since his February visit contained part of a Sat./Sun. now you have Friday March 9th weekend and continue on EOW from their leaving you with one weekend, not two in a row.

If his visit was Monday Feb. 26th through Friday, March 2, you would have Saturday March 3rd and Sunday, March 4th as your weekend under the "old" schedule. Since you have to swap then March 3-4th would become his again anyway leading right back to the above example.

Is this right??...or is my brain upside down this morning?

I think the question that needs to be answered is "after" the swap do you go back to the EOW schedule that was in effect "before" the visit or do you start EOW schedule new after each of the three visits. Because the judge wanted to adjust the schedule after the three visits giving each extended family some time, I interpret it as starting EOW schedule new. Meaning if you go back to the EOW schedule as it was before the swap then you would have March 16th making it 2 weekends in a row. If you start a new EOW schedule then after your March 9th weekend you would begin again with him having March 16th.

 

[angeleyzad]

Okay, just a matter of logic...(I know. Logic, schmogic. ) You cannot "swap" alternating weekends without someone winding up with two weekends in a row. You just can't.

oh, I know that...the issue is that he doesn't want to loose the weekend. It would be fine if he ended up with 2 weekends in a row, but that's not how the order is written. I willnot go against the order, however it is written is how I plan on doing the swap. I tried to reason with him about how this happens, it's basically the same as Memorial and Labor Day weekends, one of us may have the kids 3 weekends in a row because of the holiday weekend. He knows that. I tried to tell him that this is the same thing, but no, he won't listen to me.

His lawyer has him convinced (or he convinced his lawyer, not sure which - they're two peas in a pod) that a swap does not have to take place in order for an adjustment to take place. They're saying that the adjustment is me having the kids the weekend after his vacation, then him having the next weekend. Doing this, I tried to tell them both, does not change the weekend schedule, adn that was the order, that the weekend schedule change. It's like I'm trying to reason with a bag of rocks. They just won't listen to logic.

 

[mommyof4]

Okay, so essesntially what you are saying is that if he has part of the weekend during his visitation, then you get the next weekend and THEN start the new EOW schedule? And when that new EOW schedule begins, you get the first weekend of the new schedule? Dang, now I have turned myself inside out....

OP, you need to get the judge to clarify this order. This just makes no sense. I'm not saying that you are wrong. I'm saying that the judge must have had something other than coffee in his mug when he made this ruling. There is no reason that this has to be this convoluted.

If you want to leave it as is and are positive that your interpretation is correct, the only fair thing to do is to alternate who gets the first weekend of the NEW EOW schedule. Does anybody understand what I am trying to(although, it doesn't seem to be very well) say?

 

[angeleyzad]

Let's try it this way as an example. Your ex had visitation from Monday, Feb. 26th through this Sunday, March 4th and was scheduled under the "old" order to have had Friday March 9th. Since his February visit contained part of a Sat./Sun. now you have Friday March 9th weekend and continue on EOW from their leaving you with one weekend, not two in a row.

If his visit was Monday Feb. 26th through Friday, March 2, you would have Saturday March 3rd and Sunday, March 4th as your weekend under the "old" schedule. Since you have to swap then March 3-4th would become his again anyway leading right back to the above example.

Is this right??...or is my brain upside down this morning?

I think the question that needs to be answered is "after" the swap do you go back to the EOW schedule that was in effect "before" the visit or do you start EOW schedule new after each of the three visits. I interpret it as starting EOW schedule new.

We need to swap the weekends after vacation, so that where he had the 1st/3rd before vacation, he would now have 2nd/4th weekends. This is so the kids, where they had time with his extended family before vacation, now have time with my extended family after vacation.

Okay, this is what the week/weekends look like.

His Feb vacation was Feb. 19-25. the weekend the 23-25 was his weekend under the old rotation. We need to change rotations, so this weekend, Mar. 2-4 would technically be his weekend for the swapped rotation. BUT, due to the judge's order, I get this weekend, Mar. 2-4 because his vacation had part of a Sat. or Sun. He looses his weekend this weekend. Next weekend (Mar 9-11) is my regular weekend on the new rotation. So, I end up with the children 2 weekends in a row. He does not like that.

First he asked me when we swapped weekends. He didn't like what I told him, so he went off that no, we don't swap, because I have the first weekend after his vacation, and we go from there, with him having the next weekend. He went off on that for quite a while. I even went as far as sending him a yearly calendar for the next 2 years that show how we have to swap weekends (after I swore that I would no longer hold his hand with our court orders). No comments from him on those. Then he tells me that I had it planned all along so that I had our son on his birthday, since he lost the birthday provision that he used to have (which I hadn't even thought of that...I was just going by the order). He tells me that I can have the boys this weekend (Mar. 2-4), but he would get them for the next 2 weekends in a row so that we could swap. Then the last thing that he said to me was that he'd be here with the police to get the children on Mar. 9 (which is my weekend). I won't have the kids at my house, so at least they won't see the scene that their father will make.

So, as you can see, it has to be his way, or he's going to file contempt on me. We'll see if he follows through.

 

[Gemini]

His Feb vacation was Feb. 19-25.

His week contained Sat/Sun the 24/25th making it start all new or "adjust" to you having March 2nd because of it. Then carrying on from there he would have March 9th. I, again, interpret to begin new after the visit. Meaning that whether or not days during his visit were part of the old schedule, it readjust after the end of the visit.

 

[angeleyzad]

Okay, so essentially what you are saying is that if he has part of the weekend during his visitation, then you get the next weekend and THEN start the new EOW schedule? And when that new EOW schedule begins, you get the first weekend of the new schedule? Dang, now I have turned myself inside out....

OP, you need to get the judge to clarify this order. This just makes no sense. I'm not saying that you are wrong. I'm saying that the judge must have had something other than coffee in his mug when he made this ruling. There is no reason that this has to be this convoluted.

If you want to leave it as is and are positive that your interpretation is correct, the only fair thing to do is to alternate who gets the first weekend of the NEW EOW schedule. Does anybody understand what I am trying to(although, it doesn't seem to be very well) say?

See, to me, the order is abundantly clear. We alternate the weekend schedule 3 times throughout the year, after each of his 3 vacations. So, that is how the schedule changes take place. I started there with my calendar, and alternated the weekends after those 3 vacations. Then I went back, and if his vacation time included any part of a weekend, the next weekend becomes mine, even if it was his scheduled weekend. This does not change the fact that the weekend schedule has swapped. So, on either 1 or 2 of the changes, it so happens that I have the children 2 weekends in a row.

Again, I know why the judge made this ruling. He wanted the weekends totally swapped all together, so the he always had the children on the same weekend as his new family. I did not want the swap to happen, because then I would not have the children on the same weekend as my extended family. His lawyer kept using the argument that I was telling them that my family was more important than his. The judge, to show equality on both sides, made us switch weekends throughout the year, so that the children got to spend time with the extended families on both sides, not just one. It does make the schedule much more complicated, but the reasoning was sound.

As far as your suggestion to alternate who gets that first weekend after his vacation, it won't always work out that I have the children 2 weekends in a row. For instance, after Christmas, the alternated schedule put me with the first weekend. That weekend was mine no matter what because of the judge's order, but it did not affect anything because it was my weekend under the changed weekend schedule. This time, it does affect him, he looses his weekend. Next one, after Summer, it all depends when we have our summer vacations. So, it's not like this provision will always have him missing that first weekend.

 

[mommyof4]

His Feb vacation was Feb. 19-25.

His week contained Sat/Sun the 24/25th making it start all new or "adjust" to you having March 2nd because of it. Then carrying on from there he would have March 9th. I, again, interpret to begin new after the visit. Meaning that whether or not days during his visit were part of the old schedule, it readjust after the end of the visit.

I have to agree with Gemini on this after having it spelled out for me. Basically, what you are expecting is that you will get a "make-up" weekend to compensate for the weekend time he spent with the children and THEN starting the new EOW schedule. It can't work that way.

So, to simplify...he has visitation that includes part of a weekend. You get the next weekend regardless of who's regularly scheduled weekend it would have been. From THAT weekend, the new rotation begins....meaning he gets the next weekend.

I can't imaging the judge gave you an extra weekend after every holiday visitation to "make-up" for the weekend he got to spend with the children. Holiday visitation supercedes a regular schedule (unless you have a judge like yours) so you are not 'awarded' an extra weekend.