Thanks LDJ and tuffbrk for laying out the facts for me. Very helpful.
He wants 60K because he thinks that is how much it will cost him to buy some land and put a pre-fab building on it to live in. He can't get a loan without a co-signer so he can't borrow money to build. Has nothing to do with anything that happened during the marriage.
Suppose I offer him (60K, 100K, whatever....) in a separation agreement, and he refuses it and takes me to court for alimony. Will judge look at what I offered him and say, well you were willing to pay that so pay that AND give him (whatever) in alimony??
Thanks again....
No, the judge won't do that.. The judge will just look at the assets and numbers and make a decision based on that. A judge won't give him more than 1/2 of the marital assets.
Ok...getting inside your stbx's head....here is what he is thinking. He is thinking that if he has a "paid for" place to live, that he will be able to live on what he is receiving from disability and will still have his retirement benefits to fall back on. That makes perfect sense from his point of view.
Since a judge would likely give him alimony, and there is even a chance that it could be permanent alimony due to his disability (not a guarantee at all, but something that you have to take into consideration) then you need to be looking at ways to give him what he wants, but that work for you as well.
How are your finances? How much disposable income do you have after paying the bills and household expenses after the divorce? If things are tight, is there any downsizing that you can do?
You are either going to have to sell your existing home and split the equity with him to one degree or the other, (not necessarily a good move in today's market) or you are going to have to refinance and buy him out. What is your current interest rate on the home? Could you get as equally a good rate on a refi? If not, the following idea might be worth considering:
What if you agreed to co-sign a loan for him for a maximum of 60k to buy the land and the prefab house, and agreed to make the loan payments in lieu of alimony? He gives you a quit claim deed to your existing home, so that you don't have to refinance, and you give him a quit claim deed to the new house.
Think about that? What that basically does is uses his excess retirement income as his share of your home equity, and turns the entire 60k into alimony. You will basically be spending the same amount of money, but paying it on his mortgage, rather than on your mortgage.
Now, here is where it is advantageous for you:
You keep the equity in your home. You can sell or refinance in the future, when the housing market is in better shape. Therefore that equity may be more valuable in the future.
The payments on his mortgage will be
fully tax deductible for you, saving you at least 25-30% in federal and state/local taxes, which would hopefully recoup the interest, property tax and insurance that would be part of the mortgage payment (over time)...leaving you with a "fixed" and finite 60k in actual alimony expense. He will have to report the alimony payments on his tax return, but since the payments on a 60k mortgage won't be high enough to top his standard deduction and personal exemption, he won't actually have to pay any tax. (his SS disability is not taxable).
You make the agreement iron clad that alimony is not modifiable and that it ends when the mortgage is paid off. Therefore, you control how long you pay. If you choose to pay extra principal to pay off the mortgage faster, alimony ends faster.
Now....this is just one example of how you might get creative...you may come up with another....but think outside the box.
