DNA test after the fact

[kickit2]

Im in Wisconsin. I've been married to my wife for 5 years and during this time my wife became pregnant after I had a vasectomy. I had a sperm count done after finding out and was told that I was indeed sterile (zero count). I choose not to push the issue as I guess the marriage was more important that the truth to me and loved her (my daughter) as my own (at this time I have no proof that she isn't, just a gut feeling). I signed paternity papers at the time. Now fast forward and she wants a divorce. I know that she cheated on me for sure at least once and I am pretty sure currently. Add into that, if my daughter is not actually mine, that would make three separate times.

First question is personal. Now that my wife wants a divorce, I want to get a DNA test done and she's making it out like im a A** because of it. I have no intention of stopping being the child's "dad" in any way, I just want to know. The whole reason I didn't do it in the past was to preserve the marriage (I know - Im stupid.. ).. So from a moral standpoint, am I really a dick here for just wanting to know the truth?

This is the legal bit: If she knew that the child was not mine and lied to me to get me to sign paternity, and then I get a DNA test back that proves otherwise, am I still liable for child support? Being that I want to continue being her "dad" I guess its not the worst thing so long as the money goes to her, but its still a matter of principal in my book. Doing it because I want to VS being ordered to.

Additionally, if the test does state that she's not mine, and the mother decides to bring the biological father into the picture, do I stand a chance of loosing rights to the child in terms of visitation / custody?

I should also add that while my current wife and I where married in WI, and again live in WI, I signed paternity papers in California. I have no idea if this changes anything but thought it might be of some importance.

So what do you think?

kickit2

 

[stealth2]

Im in Wisconsin. I've been married to my wife for 5 years and during this time my wife became pregnant after I had a vasectomy. I had a sperm count done after finding out and was told that I was indeed sterile (zero count). I choose not to push the issue as I guess the marriage was more important that the truth to me and loved her (my daughter) as my own (at this time I have no proof that she isn't, just a gut feeling). I signed paternity papers at the time. Now fast forward and she wants a divorce. I know that she cheated on me for sure at least once and I am pretty sure currently. Add into that, if my daughter is not actually mine, that would make three separate times.

First question is personal. Now that my wife wants a divorce, I want to get a DNA test done and she's making it out like im a A** because of it. I have no intention of stopping being the child's "dad" in any way, I just want to know. The whole reason I didn't do it in the past was to preserve the marriage (I know - Im stupid.. ).. So from a moral standpoint, am I really a dick here for just wanting to know the truth?

This is the legal bit: If she knew that the child was not mine and lied to me to get me to sign paternity, and then I get a DNA test back that proves otherwise, am I still liable for child support? Being that I want to continue being her "dad" I guess its not the worst thing so long as the money goes to her, but its still a matter of principal in my book. Doing it because I want to VS being ordered to.

Additionally, if the test does state that she's not mine, and the mother decides to bring the biological father into the picture, do I stand a chance of loosing rights to the child in terms of visitation / custody?

So what do you think?

kickit2

You may be stuck....Although Michigan is also involved, proceedings were in WI. I just read the beginning (it's too early in my morning!), but have a glance at this:

http://www.wicourts.gov/ca/opinions/08/pdf/08-0902.pdf

 

[Ohiogal]

Im in Wisconsin. I've been married to my wife for 5 years and during this time my wife became pregnant after I had a vasectomy. I had a sperm count done after finding out and was told that I was indeed sterile (zero count). I choose not to push the issue as I guess the marriage was more important that the truth to me and loved her (my daughter) as my own (at this time I have no proof that she isn't, just a gut feeling). I signed paternity papers at the time. Now fast forward and she wants a divorce. I know that she cheated on me for sure at least once and I am pretty sure currently. Add into that, if my daughter is not actually mine, that would make three separate times.

First question is personal. Now that my wife wants a divorce, I want to get a DNA test done and she's making it out like im a A** because of it. I have no intention of stopping being the child's "dad" in any way, I just want to know. The whole reason I didn't do it in the past was to preserve the marriage (I know - Im stupid.. ).. So from a moral standpoint, am I really a dick here for just wanting to know the truth?

This is the legal bit: If she knew that the child was not mine and lied to me to get me to sign paternity, and then I get a DNA test back that proves otherwise, am I still liable for child support? Being that I want to continue being her "dad" I guess its not the worst thing so long as the money goes to her, but its still a matter of principal in my book. Doing it because I want to VS being ordered to.

Additionally, if the test does state that she's not mine, and the mother decides to bring the biological father into the picture, do I stand a chance of loosing rights to the child in terms of visitation / custody?

I should also add that while my current wife and I where married in WI, and again live in WI, I signed paternity papers in California. I have no idea if this changes anything but thought it might be of some importance.

So what do you think?

kickit2

If you were married at the time why did you sign a paternity affidavit? If you signed the paternity affidavit, you waived your rights to a DNA test. If you disestablish paternity (having the test) you will HAVE NO RIGHTS to the child. If the biological father (if not you) ever steps up he can fight for his rights.

 

[LdiJ]

Im in Wisconsin. I've been married to my wife for 5 years and during this time my wife became pregnant after I had a vasectomy. I had a sperm count done after finding out and was told that I was indeed sterile (zero count). I choose not to push the issue as I guess the marriage was more important that the truth to me and loved her (my daughter) as my own (at this time I have no proof that she isn't, just a gut feeling). I signed paternity papers at the time. Now fast forward and she wants a divorce. I know that she cheated on me for sure at least once and I am pretty sure currently. Add into that, if my daughter is not actually mine, that would make three separate times.

First question is personal. Now that my wife wants a divorce, I want to get a DNA test done and she's making it out like im a A** because of it. I have no intention of stopping being the child's "dad" in any way, I just want to know. The whole reason I didn't do it in the past was to preserve the marriage (I know - Im stupid.. ).. So from a moral standpoint, am I really a dick here for just wanting to know the truth?

This is the legal bit: If she knew that the child was not mine and lied to me to get me to sign paternity, and then I get a DNA test back that proves otherwise, am I still liable for child support? Being that I want to continue being her "dad" I guess its not the worst thing so long as the money goes to her, but its still a matter of principal in my book. Doing it because I want to VS being ordered to.

Additionally, if the test does state that she's not mine, and the mother decides to bring the biological father into the picture, do I stand a chance of loosing rights to the child in terms of visitation / custody?

I should also add that while my current wife and I where married in WI, and again live in WI, I signed paternity papers in California. I have no idea if this changes anything but thought it might be of some importance.

So what do you think?

kickit2

You cannot have it both ways. You are either legally dad with all the rights AND responsibilities that go with that, or you are not legally dad, and will have no rights or responsibilities. Its that simple. So think very carefully before you decide what route to pursue.

 

[kickit2]

You cannot have it both ways. You are either legally dad with all the rights AND responsibilities that go with that, or you are not legally dad, and will have no rights or responsibilities. Its that simple. So think very carefully before you decide what route to pursue.

So you are saying that I have options, and that one of those options is to have my name removed from the child as far as legal obligation. I honestly don't feel that I want to be legally obligated to a child which isn't mine, but at the same time I have no interest in removing her from my life. We have two other children together that are mine, so this could get messy?

But I just want to confirm this, you are saying that, if I choose to attempt it, it is possible to have my legal obligation to the child undone?

 

[Ohiogal]

So you are saying that I have options, and that one of those options is to have my name removed from the child as far as legal obligation. I honestly don't feel that I want to be legally obligated to a child which isn't mine, but at the same time I have no interest in removing her from my life. We have two other children together that are mine, so this could get messy?

But I just want to confirm this, you are saying that, if I choose to attempt it, it is possible to have my legal obligation to the child undone?

DID YOU SIGN THE AFFIDAVIT OF PATERNITY? If so, then you waived the right to a paternity test. If you have your legal obligation to the child undone, YOU lose any right to remain in her life. No mess about it. You will have NO RIGHTS to visitation.

 

[LdiJ]

So you are saying that I have options, and that one of those options is to have my name removed from the child as far as legal obligation. I honestly don't feel that I want to be legally obligated to a child which isn't mine, but at the same time I have no interest in removing her from my life. We have two other children together that are mine, so this could get messy?

But I just want to confirm this, you are saying that, if I choose to attempt it, it is possible to have my legal obligation to the child undone?

I am saying that IF (and that is a big if) the judge allows you to dis-establish paternity, and therefore your legal obligations to the child, that you will no longer be the child's father, you will no longer have any right to see or speak to the child, you will have no rights towards the child at all. I am saying, that in the mind of the child you will be throwing her away. You will be telling her that daddy, grandma, grandpa and any other member of your extended family do not want her anymore...that you all only want her brothers/sisters.

That is a harsh and cruel thing to do to a child. However, if your wallet is more important to you than the child, then by all means attempt it now, because it would be even crueler to attempt it later.

 

[stealth2]

So you are saying that I have options, and that one of those options is to have my name removed from the child as far as legal obligation. I honestly don't feel that I want to be legally obligated to a child which isn't mine, but at the same time I have no interest in removing her from my life. We have two other children together that are mine, so this could get messy?

Understand that, if you are successful? Remaining in this child's life will be out of your hands.It will be completely up to Mom what - if any - contact you are allowed. IF She doesn't want you to have further contact (which is what i would expect)? You could find yourself on the receiving end of a restraining order, prohibiting contact until the child is 18 - at which point I doubt the child will be interested in anything you have to say.

 

[ShyCat]

I honestly don't feel that I want to be legally obligated to a child which isn't mine, ...

Then you should not have signed the affidavit of paternity. What did you think it meant?

 

[single317dad]

Understand that, if you are successful? Remaining in this child's life will be out of your hands.It will be completely up to Mom what - if any - contact you are allowed. IF She doesn't want you to have further contact (which is what i would expect)? You could find yourself on the receiving end of a restraining order, prohibiting contact until the child is 18 - at which point I doubt the child will be interested in anything you have to say.

And even if Mom allows contact and/or visits, I'd bet you lunch that the first time OP irritates her on some issue or another she'll not allow him to see the child anymore. And she'd be well within her legal rights to do that.

OP, before you do anything, you should sit down for some soul searching, and decide if you want to remain this child's father (in all aspects, including financial support), or if you never want to see her again. That's the choice you need to make before you start any legal process here. It might be wisest to start with a home DNA test to help you decide.