Do we each own this home 50/50?

[Bali Hai]

Date of separation info for CA: http://www.cadivorce.com/california-divorce-guide/what-to-expect/significance-of-the-date-of-separation

http://www.goforlaw.com/Legal_Article-Date_of_Separation_CA_Divorce.htm

And Zigner rules, as always: the man won in the 2nd link, in the Manfer case.

Samuel Manfer won in trial court. That decision was apparently appealed and the appellate court sided with Maureen Manfer and vacated the lower court's decision.

 

[HowardDuck]

So a new question if you guys don't mind, since you've been so terribly helpful (and I thank you, I really do!). My husband and I agreed that he would buy me out of the house (through a refinance - have to get my name off the loan this way anyway I guess). Can I instead insist upon the home being sold instead and refuse the offered buyout?

Basically, I feel the guy who did the appraisal (for the bank) was a moron, to put it nicely. In an area where prices are only going up, it was appraised for less now than it was 8 months ago. And this AFTER a new roof, water heater, and a few other things were put in. He also said there were no energy efficiency improvements, even though the roof, water heater, and 1/2 of the windows are. He used terrible comps even though better/more similar (and having a higher sell price) homes were available. Everything I've found/read says that trying to get an appraisal changed is harder than winning the lottery, so, while I'd go that route if I could if really feels like a dead end.

Am I just screwed? I would literally walk away with about half of what I honestly believe I would if we sold the property, if I take the offered buyout. I realize people have a tendency to over value their own items/property and undervalue everyone else's, but I'm not pulling numbers out of my rear end, I'm using actual facts.

 

[LdiJ]

So a new question if you guys don't mind, since you've been so terribly helpful (and I thank you, I really do!). My husband and I agreed that he would buy me out of the house (through a refinance - have to get my name off the loan this way anyway I guess). Can I instead insist upon the home being sold instead and refuse the offered buyout?

Basically, I feel the guy who did the appraisal (for the bank) was a moron, to put it nicely. In an area where prices are only going up, it was appraised for less now than it was 8 months ago. And this AFTER a new roof, water heater, and a few other things were put in. He also said there were no energy efficiency improvements, even though the roof, water heater, and 1/2 of the windows are. He used terrible comps even though better/more similar (and having a higher sell price) homes were available. Everything I've found/read says that trying to get an appraisal changed is harder than winning the lottery, so, while I'd go that route if I could if really feels like a dead end.

Am I just screwed? I would literally walk away with about half of what I honestly believe I would if we sold the property, if I take the offered buyout. I realize people have a tendency to over value their own items/property and undervalue everyone else's, but I'm not pulling numbers out of my rear end, I'm using actual facts.

You could hire a different appraiser if the amount of money involved is worth it.

 

[single317dad]

There are significant costs involved with selling a property, not to mention the amount of time it might sit on the market. Your home might not sell for years! Are you prepared for that possibility? The costs of simply writing a new mortgage in one party's name are quite lower.

That said, do not let your husband fleece you, as the saying goes. Feel free to hire an independent appraiser and dispute every claim he makes throughout the process; just remember that each dispute will slow the process and stop you moving on with your own life.

If it were your husband here asking this question, I would almost certainly advise him not to buy out the house. This is a decision that's nearly always made on an emotional basis, and by and large the party who ends up with the house regrets the decision years later. The point being, just make sure the paperwork is done and done right. Make sure you're off that mortgage. Hire an attorney to review the documents you're signing.

 

[LdiJ]

There are significant costs involved with selling a property, not to mention the amount of time it might sit on the market. Your home might not sell for years! Are you prepared for that possibility? The costs of simply writing a new mortgage in one party's name are quite lower.

That said, do not let your husband fleece you, as the saying goes. Feel free to hire an independent appraiser and dispute every claim he makes throughout the process; just remember that each dispute will slow the process and stop you moving on with your own life.

If it were your husband here asking this question, I would almost certainly advise him not to buy out the house. This is a decision that's nearly always made on an emotional basis, and by and large the party who ends up with the house regrets the decision years later. The point being, just make sure the paperwork is done and done right. Make sure you're off that mortgage. Hire an attorney to review the documents you're signing.

One party buying out the other can be a bad idea, but it can also be a good idea. It all depends on the particular circumstances. I bought out my ex and I have never regretted it. However, when we bought our house we bought a house that either of us could afford on our own.

 

[stealth2]

Rule of thumb with appraisals is to get three, go with the one in the middle.

As for your improvements? Few (with the exception of a kitchen remodel) bring a return on the investment.

 

[LdiJ]

Rule of thumb with appraisals is to get three, go with the one in the middle.

As for your improvements? Few (with the exception of a kitchen remodel) bring a return on the investment.

I agree, but sometimes things like a new roof make the appraiser go with higher comps.

 

[Bali Hai]

So a new question if you guys don't mind, since you've been so terribly helpful (and I thank you, I really do!). My husband and I agreed that he would buy me out of the house (through a refinance - have to get my name off the loan this way anyway I guess). Can I instead insist upon the home being sold instead and refuse the offered buyout?

Basically, I feel the guy who did the appraisal (for the bank) was a moron, to put it nicely. In an area where prices are only going up, it was appraised for less now than it was 8 months ago. And this AFTER a new roof, water heater, and a few other things were put in. He also said there were no energy efficiency improvements, even though the roof, water heater, and 1/2 of the windows are. He used terrible comps even though better/more similar (and having a higher sell price) homes were available. Everything I've found/read says that trying to get an appraisal changed is harder than winning the lottery, so, while I'd go that route if I could if really feels like a dead end.

Am I just screwed? I would literally walk away with about half of what I honestly believe I would if we sold the property, if I take the offered buyout. I realize people have a tendency to over value their own items/property and undervalue everyone else's, but I'm not pulling numbers out of my rear end, I'm using actual facts.

Lucky for you, you're a woman. The judge would have told you to suck it up threw your case out and told you to move on if you were a man long ago. We still live in be nice to women in divorce age. I'm going to be sick.

You made your bed, sleep in it.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Lucky for you, you're a woman. The judge would have told you to suck it up threw your case out and told you to move on if you were a man long ago. We still live in be nice to women in divorce age. I'm going to be sick.

You made your bed, sleep in it.

I think her STBX wants to buy it.

 

[Proserpina]

I think her STBX wants to buy it.

Given who you're addressing, I'm not so sure that's a wise response.

 

[HowardDuck]

Actually, Bali Hai, I'm a man. I lied and reversed the genders because I'm VERY aware of the bias against men, and I wanted honest help. Most people look down upon men who've chosen to put their own career on hold to help their wife with hers - it's seen an unmanly and unnatural. But I loved her very much (and still do, unfortunately) and her goals were important enough to her (and frankly, realistic) I was willing to make that sacrifice. That ended up with her being the superior earner, and when our son was born it only made sense for me to take care of him since she was capable of earning more than I. Again, not a big deal - a family should be in it together, regardless of who does what, as long as everyone is happy. The problem is, once she had her career set, had a house, had a son, and that son was old enough for decent daycare, she apparently didn't need her husband anymore. Does this scenario sound familiar?

I love my wife very much, and I don't want to screw her. But I sacrificed a lot for her to be in the position she's in today, and I'll be walking away with almost nothing. I'm just looking out for myself, and to try and get something back.

I'm sorry for the deception, there was no evil intent.

 

[Bali Hai]

Actually, Bali Hai, I'm a man. I lied and reversed the genders because I'm VERY aware of the bias against men, and I wanted honest help. Most people look down upon men who've chosen to put their own career on hold to help their wife with hers - it's seen an unmanly and unnatural. But I loved her very much (and still do, unfortunately) and her goals were important enough to her (and frankly, realistic) I was willing to make that sacrifice. That ended up with her being the superior earner, and when our son was born it only made sense for me to take care of him since she was capable of earning more than I. Again, not a big deal - a family should be in it together, regardless of who does what, as long as everyone is happy. The problem is, once she had her career set, had a house, had a son, and that son was old enough for decent daycare, she apparently didn't need her husband anymore. Does this scenario sound familiar?

I love my wife very much, and I don't want to screw her. But I sacrificed a lot for her to be in the position she's in today, and I'll be walking away with almost nothing. I'm just looking out for myself, and to try and get something back.

I'm sorry for the deception, there was no evil intent.

We're you planning to try and convince the judge you are the wife too?!? You've got the vindictive part down pat.

 

[Ohiogal]

Actually, Bali Hai, I'm a man. I lied and reversed the genders because I'm VERY aware of the bias against men, and I wanted honest help. Most people look down upon men who've chosen to put their own career on hold to help their wife with hers - it's seen an unmanly and unnatural. But I loved her very much (and still do, unfortunately) and her goals were important enough to her (and frankly, realistic) I was willing to make that sacrifice. That ended up with her being the superior earner, and when our son was born it only made sense for me to take care of him since she was capable of earning more than I. Again, not a big deal - a family should be in it together, regardless of who does what, as long as everyone is happy. The problem is, once she had her career set, had a house, had a son, and that son was old enough for decent daycare, she apparently didn't need her husband anymore. Does this scenario sound familiar?

I love my wife very much, and I don't want to screw her. But I sacrificed a lot for her to be in the position she's in today, and I'll be walking away with almost nothing. I'm just looking out for myself, and to try and get something back.

I'm sorry for the deception, there was no evil intent.

So you are a liar. Lovely. Why should we believe anything else you have said?

 

[stealth2]

Actually, Bali Hai, I'm a man. I lied and reversed the genders because I'm VERY aware of the bias against men, and I wanted honest help. Most people look down upon men who've chosen to put their own career on hold to help their wife with hers - it's seen an unmanly and unnatural. But I loved her very much (and still do, unfortunately) and her goals were important enough to her (and frankly, realistic) I was willing to make that sacrifice. That ended up with her being the superior earner, and when our son was born it only made sense for me to take care of him since she was capable of earning more than I. Again, not a big deal - a family should be in it together, regardless of who does what, as long as everyone is happy. The problem is, once she had her career set, had a house, had a son, and that son was old enough for decent daycare, she apparently didn't need her husband anymore. Does this scenario sound familiar?

I love my wife very much, and I don't want to screw her. But I sacrificed a lot for her to be in the position she's in today, and I'll be walking away with almost nothing. I'm just looking out for myself, and to try and get something back.

I'm sorry for the deception, there was no evil intent.

Regardless of the intent, such deception is frowned upon here. You pretty well trashed your credibility. I'm sure an attorney would be happy to advise you.

 

[HowardDuck]

And if I was a female I'd not get ^^ that response. Thanks for proving my point!