Domestic Harasment

[ZaheerKhan]

What is the name of your state? California

Question: I have been divorced for 3 years, and am now remarried.
I have two children, 9 and 12 years of age. I have visitation rights, every other weekend and one a week.

My X is driving us crazy. When my x first learned I was dating, she contacted my then girl friend, calling her a whore and various other things, telling her she would "get her" (this was about a year ago).

When I picked up my kids one night at my x's house one night, my X again contacted my wife and continued with the name calling, etc. At that time, I told my X that if this did not stop - we would have to take legal action.

Just this weekend, I took my son to a weekend soccer game at my X wife's request (she said she was not able to take him due to a conflict). She (my X) knew my wife would attend as I told here as much and I would not leave my wife at home as the game was out of town. My X showed up to the after game get together (the kids won the match).

My X waited at the front door for me and my wife to come out. When we were leaving, my X said "hello whore", starting cursing and stated ("do you remember what I said when I called..."). I had to physically restrain my X, as did several other parents. This was in front of the team of kids and parents.

This cannot continue, but I am not sure if this rises to the level of "abuse". My X did not directly threaten to harm me or my wife. That being said, calling someone a “whore” along with a string of curses in front of family, friends and kids is not acceptable. What legal recourse, if any, do I have?

Regards

 

[Isis1]

you restrained her? and she didn't file charges against you?

you really shouldn't ever do that ever again. you can really get yourself into some hot water with that one.

you wife is a grown up. she can be left at home. you just chose not to. you know your ex is crazy. don't put your wife in those situations. and your kids either.

 

[BL]

When you're dealing with your kids , leave your wife home , or at a nearby public place drop her off then pick her up after the exchanges .

You have to take steps to avoid these issues as well for the children's sake .

 

[ZaheerKhan]

IsabellaSoriano - by restraining her, I and two other parents kept her from physically attacking and potentially harming my wife so that we could leave the area. My wife made no comment or statement to my X wife at all before, during or prior to the indicent. Are you saying I should have let her attack and harm her, me or those around us?

BL - do you think it fair or appropriate that I should leave my wife at home or keep her away from anything I do with my kids? Would you be comfortable with your husband/wife telling you to stay home because you are going to see your kids. Maybe this is the sensible thing to do given the circumstances, but it is certainly disrespectful to my wife.

 

[stealth2]

Dude... you know there's a conflict between your ex and your wife. Why are you fueling the fire? Is your wife so insecure that she can't spend a couple of hours home alone? Seriously - quit fanning the flames, or don't be surprised when the fire flares.

 

[stealth2]

Maybe this is the sensible thing to do given the circumstances, but it is certainly disrespectful to my wife.

And flaunting her is disrespectful to your children's mother.

 

[Isis1]

worse case scenario...your wife will be court ordered to not be allowed to attend any games. even if your wife got a restraining order on your ex. only your wife will be restrained from participating. not their mother.

 

[Just Blue]

IsabellaSoriano - by restraining her, I and two other parents kept her from physically attacking and potentially harming my wife so that we could leave the area. My wife made no comment or statement to my X wife at all before, during or prior to the indicent. Are you saying I should have let her attack and harm her, me or those around us?

BL - do you think it fair or appropriate that I should leave my wife at home or keep her away from anything I do with my kids? Would you be comfortable with your husband/wife telling you to stay home because you are going to see your kids. Maybe this is the sensible thing to do given the circumstances, but it is certainly disrespectful to my wife.

What is more important...placating your wife or a drama free environment for your children's visit?

 

[SP103]

From the following website: http://www.thecolonypd.org/
A local PD website with excellent information about restraining orders in the State of Texas.
"Protective Orders

A protective order is intended to prevent family violence by a member of a family or household (or former member of the household) by another member of the household that is intended to result in: * Physical harm, bodily injury or assault OR *A threat that reasonably places the member in fear of imminent physical harm, bodily injury or assault, excluding reasonable discipline of a child by a person having that duty OR * Abuse towards a child of the family or household.

A "Family" includes spouses, former spouses, brothers, sisters including those related by blood or marriage, biological parents of the same child without regard to marriage, a foster child and foster parents whether or not those individuals reside together."

Please contact your local PD/Sheriff's department for instructions on how to obtain a restraining order. Per your story, you warned your ex previously that continued abuse would warrant you having to take legal action. A judge will have to decide visitation rights, which you may voice your opinion on the matter (I.E. if you will allow the mother to show up to soccer games or not).

Best of luck, and stay safe!

 

[Ohiogal]

From the following website: http://www.thecolonypd.org/
A local PD website with excellent information about restraining orders in the State of Texas.
"Protective Orders

A protective order is intended to prevent family violence by a member of a family or household (or former member of the household) by another member of the household that is intended to result in: * Physical harm, bodily injury or assault OR *A threat that reasonably places the member in fear of imminent physical harm, bodily injury or assault, excluding reasonable discipline of a child by a person having that duty OR * Abuse towards a child of the family or household.

A "Family" includes spouses, former spouses, brothers, sisters including those related by blood or marriage, biological parents of the same child without regard to marriage, a foster child and foster parents whether or not those individuals reside together."

Please contact your local PD/Sheriff's department for instructions on how to obtain a restraining order. Per your story, you warned your ex previously that continued abuse would warrant you having to take legal action. A judge will have to decide visitation rights, which you may voice your opinion on the matter (I.E. if you will allow the mother to show up to soccer games or not).

Best of luck, and stay safe!

He does not qualify for a protective order against his ex wife because his ex wife did nothing to HIM. And his current wife cannot get a protective order against the ex wife because they are not, nor were they, members of the same household. And I am stating this in public -- you do not have permission to contact me through PMs. You do not give me orders. Any further communication from you through PMs will result in my contacting the moderators and having you dealt with.

Oh and as for my qualifications, the moderators are well aware of who I am and what my background, education and experience is. Comprende?

 

[SP103]

If the ops wife files successfully for a restraining order against the ex, that would help eliminate the unwanted interactions between the ex and wife. Now I am not an expert in the protection/restraining orders in Texas, so I recommend the Op and his wife to contact his divorce attorney or local PD/Sheriff to discuss the options available. Again I do not specific knowledge about the certain laws regarding protective orders in Texas, only my home state and neighbor states, so again I recommend the Op and his wife to contact the local PD/Sheriff's office to help in this matter.

 

[BL]

If the ops wife files successfully for a restraining order against the ex, that would help eliminate the unwanted interactions between the ex and wife. Now I am not an expert in the protection/restraining orders in Texas, so I recommend the Op and his wife to contact his divorce attorney or local PD/Sheriff to discuss the options available. Again I do not specific knowledge about the certain laws regarding protective orders in Texas, only my home state and neighbor states, so again I recommend the Op and his wife to contact the local PD/Sheriff's office to help in this matter.

A protective order is intended to prevent family violence by a member of a family or household (or former member of the household) by another member of the household that is intended to result in: * Physical harm, bodily injury or assault OR *A threat that reasonably places the member in fear of imminent physical harm, bodily injury or assault, excluding reasonable discipline of a child by a person having that duty OR * Abuse towards a child of the family or household.

There has been no threat of violence , unless I misread .

This is about harassment , name calling , etc .

The poster was well advised on how to prevent the occurrences .

Instead of avoidances , you and the poster would rather have the child to learn to call the police and have some
kind of emotional commotion , instead of have the child learn to deal with issues as simply and calmly as possible .

 

[Just Blue]

Again I do not specific knowledge about the certain laws regarding protective orders in Texas

Then why are you responding to this thread?

 

[SP103]

There has been no threat of violence , unless I misread .

This is about harassment , name calling , etc .

The poster was well advised on how to prevent the occurrences .

Instead of avoidances , you and the poster would rather have the child to learn to call the police and have some
kind of emotional commotion , instead of have the child learn to deal with issues as simply and calmly as possible .

First off, I completely disagree with your assessment of the situation. By allowing the children to witness such events will induced the idea that this type of behavior is "normal". I am really, really sickened by that ideology BL. Moving on....

The original OP states, Quote: My X waited at the front door for me and my wife to come out. When we were leaving, my X said "hello whore", starting cursing and stated ("do you remember what I said when I called..."). I had to physically restrain my X, as did several other parents. This was in front of the team of kids and parents."

Now this sounds to me like the Op had to physically prevent a potential violent situation. My second point is, if you read the law clearly, the section that states "A threat that reasonably places the member in fear of imminent physical harm" warrants the person whom is placed in fear to obtain a restraining order. I did some more research on the particular restraining laws of Texas, and I found that Texas has a seperate "Family Code" of laws that deals specifically in situations such as this. Here's an piece:

Source: http://tlo2.tlc.state.tx.us/statutes/fa.toc.htm Chapter 85
b) In a protective order, the court may prohibit the person
found to have committed family violence from:
(1) committing family violence;
(2) communicating:
(A) directly with a person protected by an order
or a member of the family or household of a person protected by an
order, in a threatening or harassing manner;

In Chapter 82, outlining whom may apply for a Protective order, it states:

"a description of the threatened harm that
reasonably places the applicant in fear of imminent physical harm,
bodily injury, assault, or sexual assault."

It appears, in my humble opinion, which yes Baystate girl, is my opinion with the aide of my knowledge in the "FIELD", not localized State, the wife is entitled to have a hearing for a Protective Order placed against the ex-wife.

Hopefully, this will nullify the children's potential to see, hear or witness acts of abuse whether they be physical or emotional (verbal).

 

[BL]

First off, I completely disagree with your assessment of the situation. By allowing the children to witness such events will induced the idea that this type of behavior is "normal". I am really, really sickened by that ideology BL

You really like turn things around for YOUR liking .

You took my words and turned them into something out of context , so you sickened yourself over your own words .

Don't turn my words around .

The OP was told to leave his wife at home , or drop her off and pick her back up , once the children were exchanged , and to go to the children's events alone , to AVOID the issues .

This would be a better solution than contacting / calling the Law .