DV and Defamation

[sportg6]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

I am a victim of domestic violence and my ex boyfriend is "cyberstalking" me and spreading lies to all my personal and professional connections after he broke into my home and stole my blackberry. I have filed MANY claims with police and he still runs free. How can I file a defamation lawsuit? How can I get him to leave me alone? Police have been NO help and I was just finally awarded an injunction for protection, but he still is spreading all kinds of lies and now he's tampered my mail by forwarding it to his address. I fear for my safety and wellbeing. I have terrible anxiety, my life is out of my control.....please can someone give me some real advice as to what am I to do? At his last court hearing his VOP was dismissed and so was the warrant for arrest. I was told by the states atty to "watch my back, he's going to kill you!" WOW, that's a statement! The states atty claims "they have bigger fish to fry in another county with him!" I have been getting the run around from the police, the court system since September and now I can even get the detective to return my calls! I believe they won't be helpful until I am dead. He continues to harass me, my family as well as friends. I had to move from my home and leave it to forclosure and now he has found where I am currently living. Please help!! Sick with anxiety and scared in Sarasota. I would appreciate any advice or suggestions.
Thank you.
KMP

 

[Hot Topic]

What kind of proof do you have that he broke into your home and stole your Blackberry?

How do you know that he rerouted your mail to his address? Are you saying that he took a mail forwarding card from the post office, then filled it out as you? What did the post office say when you talked to them about it?

 

[sportg6]

Well, I was out with a friend and the ex-boyfriend called my friend's phone with my blackberry saying he was looking for me that my dogs were running around the neighborhood and he told her that he was at my house. Police were called and he also turned on all the lights, dogs were in the back yard and he drank a bottle of wine too! He then proceeded to call ALL my contacts and emailed the professional contacts as well. He also called my mother drunk saying he was concerned for my safety and why would I leave my cell at home when I was out! I spoke with him and he told me to come to his house to get the blackberry and that we needed to talk! So, that would be the proof! That case is pending with the state's attorneys office as well as the "cyber-stalking" charge.
I have proof that he forwarded my mail through the USPS. I went and had the post office give me a copy of the card that he used to forwarded my mail. A case is pending with the US Postal Inspectors and the local Sheriff's office. The address card was then forwarded to his address in Marco Island FL and that is were he is staying with his mother according to his probation officer as well as through the courts.

All things point to him, but the courts and the police are going at a snails pace. The cases take at least 3 weeks to get to the state's attorneys office and in the mean time, he stalks me through emails, calls to my employer acting like he's a patient and continues to call family and friends talking crap! I have a list of 150 emails he sent to various places (work, doctors, CEO and my attorney) just spreading lies and defamation about me and what I do! He has said things that are NOT true, told people I was at his house having sex with him (when I was out with my friends and I have proof) and other lies.

Understand my frustration? I just wanted some guidence on what other legal recourse I have since the help that victims get is far from REAL assistance.

Thank you, any suggestions would be most appreciated.
KMP

 

[Hot Topic]

I assume that you've contacted everyone involved and warned them that they might receive calls and emails from him about you. That's all you can do until the other agencies bring him to trial.

You have to understand that, as annoying as his actions are to you and everyone else impacted, people in a position to deal with him legally simply can't drop everything and concentrate on your case.

 

[sportg6]

Hot Topic,

I do understand that there are other pressing cases, but in the mean time I could stand to have a little assistance. I am NOT blowing smoke up anyone's rear end, just want some understanding and maybe some compassion. Would like the courts to listen to me instead of listening to a smooth talking jerk, who lies and talks lies to anyone who will listen!

Thank you for your imput!
KMP

 

[cyjeff]

Have you called your blackberry provider and asked that the phone be reported stolen.

Your blackberry admin can deny access to the server.

 

[sportg6]

The blackberry was reported stolen and is now in the custody of the Manatee County Sheriff's Office. I am pressing charges, but again that all takes TIME!! I also have "Cyber-Stalking" charges pending as well, but it's a slow process. I have about 150 emails from a period of less than 30 days and another 125 phone calls on my work/cell phone alone! Thank god I have an employers whom believes in me or I would have lost this job too. I lost an 8 year career with an employer last year because of the stalking and threat making he was doing! I am doing this all by the books....long, slow process.

Thanks,
KMP

 

[Gracie3787]

The blackberry was reported stolen and is now in the custody of the Manatee County Sheriff's Office. I am pressing charges, but again that all takes TIME!! I also have "Cyber-Stalking" charges pending as well, but it's a slow process. I have about 150 emails from a period of less than 30 days and another 125 phone calls on my work/cell phone alone! Thank god I have an employers whom believes in me or I would have lost this job too. I lost an 8 year career with an employer last year because of the stalking and threat making he was doing! I am doing this all by the books....long, slow process.

Thanks,
KMP

Yes, unfortunately it is a very slow process. For now all you can do is wait and keep gathering evidence. In addition you can file a contempt motion if you have proof that he violated the protective order. That is something that you do not have to wait on the police or state attorney for. You can also get more info from your local DV agency.

 

[sportg6]

Yes, I have already filed 3 violations since the injunction was put into place on 11/25/08. The "X" has asked for a motion to dissolve and modify the injunction and was granted a hearing in Jan 2009. I just don't get it. I follow all the rules and he is still the one with all the rights! Sends emails to family and friends and he is still calling me at work as well. I have placed calls with both Sarasota and Manatee County State's Atty offices. No one has any answers!
Thank you for your suggestion, i do appreciate!
KMP

 

[1momof2]

What about leaving the area? He is not going to stop. The crazymaking (breaking in, rumors, etc.) are all part of the game he is playing. I'm sure friends/acqaintances give you the benefit of the doubt, but after time, if he starts going after them (because they are your support system) trying to gain sympathy, etc, it is only a matter of time. Even the best witnesses for any of his antics ultimately do not want to testify against him in court--especially if they are afraid of him as well.

My best advice to you--if at all possible---get out of there. Go where he will least expect you to relocate and start again.

This advice was given to me by my wisest of friends years ago. I made the wrong choice and stayed. My life has been tangled with his ever since.
It truly is not worth the stress to fight him in court. They lie, lie, lie, and the system will allow them to get away with it. There are few attorneys out there who are aggressive enough to tackle them (for what we could afford to pay), and not nearly enough experts.

You can also check out Lundy Bancroft is an author, workshop leader, and activist on trauma, abuse, and healing. for some excellent resources as well.

You are not alone.

My final advice would be to make a trip to your local gunsmith; find a pistol you will be comfortable carrying (small but still a man-stopper). Learn the laws of your state/city and obtain a concealed carry permit. There are a plethora of qualified trainers out there who will offer expertise and support to help you train. You do not have to live in fear for your life.

I wish you well.

 

[Isis1]

might i suggest some self defense classes in addition to if not in leiu of the gun. the gun should be the last resort and would reduce the speculation of any possible shooting as revenge instead of the self defense it was intended.

 

[sportg6]

Thank you ladies. I know that I am not alone and I do appreciate all your advice. I just went last weekend to Tampa for a CWP and have mailed the application in. I do agree that a gun is the last resort, but I am getting myself prepared for anything! I was given a gift certificate for defense classes and I am already enrolled. I really do NOT want to give him the satisfaction of moving from the area because he wants to break me!! I do have a place I can go, but that's the last resort as well! I am still fighting and I will NOT give up or in!!

Thank you again, I do appreciate any suggestions!
KMP