Ex Moved and Refuse to tell me where he is?

[Kimmyf1965]

What is the name of your state? Tn

My Ex moved about 2 weeks ago. He is refusing to give me his new address. He says he doesn't want me on his property. This is what he has told my 15 year old son. We have joint custody with me being the custodial parent and he pays child support. My son has muscular dystrophy and he takes him every other weekend from Friday to Sunday. He wants me to pick my son up at his Aunts house on Sundays. I think this is reduculous since she lives about 2 miles away from me. Unnecessary tranfers of my son can be dangerous on both the person doing to the lifting as well as my son. I want his address first and formost. Then I want to tell him that we will stay off of his property but in return he has to bring my son home. I don't want to allow my son to leave without knowing where he will be overnight. Is this an unreasonable request?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? Tn

My Ex moved about 2 weeks ago. He is refusing to give me his new address. He says he doesn't want me on his property. This is what he has told my 15 year old son. We have joint custody with me being the custodial parent and he pays child support. My son has muscular dystrophy and he takes him every other weekend from Friday to Sunday. He wants me to pick my son up at his Aunts house on Sundays. I think this is reduculous since she lives about 2 miles away from me. Unnecessary tranfers of my son can be dangerous on both the person doing to the lifting as well as my son. I want his address first and formost. Then I want to tell him that we will stay off of his property but in return he has to bring my son home. I don't want to allow my son to leave without knowing where he will be overnight. Is this an unreasonable request?

It might be a resonable request but so is your ex's not wanting you to have his address. get over it.

 

[Kimmyf1965]

So you mean to tell me that I have no right to know where my son is? What if I want to take him back to court? I can't have him served without knowing where he is. And what if he decides to just keep my son when he picks him up on Friday?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

So you mean to tell me that I have no right to know where my son is? What if I want to take him back to court? I can't have him served without knowing where he is. And what if he decides to just keep my son when he picks him up on Friday?

and what if the sun decides not to rise tomorrow?

Geeez, if you take him back to court then you can serve him at work, at his mother's house or anywhere he may be. You DO NOT have to serve him at home.

 

[Kimmyf1965]

Your attitude stinks!!! Having a bad day Belize?

I'm asking a simple question and any other advise will be appreciated by other members.

My X refuses to follow the parenting plan in regard to visitation. I have no clue where he works because he doesn't supply me with the tax & W-2 information as required in the parenting plan. He is suppose to pay me 1/2 of all medical bills not covered by insurance as required in the parenting plan and refuses to pay. And now he has decided to move and refuses to tell me where. Yes I do need to take him back to court and I totally understand that; but this jerk tells his sick child that if I take him back to court he will halt visitation altogether and pay me more money because it's just not worth it. My son loves his dad and I absoulutely hate that he tells him this kind of crap. My son only has a short time left of his life and he really doesn't need to hear this kind of garbage. As the CP do I not have rights?

 

[GrowUp!]

As the CP do I not have rights?

For crying out loud Drama Queen...this isn't about you and your "rights." What makes you think because you are the CP that you have all of these "rights"?? You do not!

If he is not following the order, then drag his ass back to court. As far as the W2/tax stuff, why that's in a parenting plan is beyond me, since what he makes every year and vice versa is neither yours' damn business and has nothing to do with "parenting." I am guessing soemone threw that to be nosey. It's none of your business where he works. That, also, has nothing to do with "parenting." Good Lord...let go!

Anyways, it's none of your business where he lives. He's been deemed a fit parent by the court. Nor do you have any legal right to deny him his parenting time because you're in an uproar over not having his new address. You know where he's at. He's with Dad. PERIOD.

As far as the bills...have you been sending them to him? If so, then keep sending them to his last known address. They should get forwarded anyway.

 

[ceara19]

Anyways, it's none of your business where he lives.

There is a very good chance that this statement is incorrect. Many custody orders include the stipulation that EACH parent keep the other informed of their physical address, phone number and place of employment.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

There is a very good chance that this statement is incorrect. Many custody orders include the stipulation that EACH parent keep the other informed of their physical address, phone number and place of employment.

And since our intrepid poster never bothered to say that this was indeed included in the custody order, I stand by my answer.

 

[ceara19]

Apparently it is a matter of law:

36-2-311. Order of parentage

(a) Upon establishing parentage, the court shall make an order declaring the father of the child. This order shall include the following:

(1) the full names and residential and mailing addresses of the mother, father and child, if known;

(2) the dates of birth and social security numbers of the mother, father and the child, if known;

(3) the father's place of birth, if known;

(4) the home telephone number of the mother and the father, if known;

(5) the driver's license numbers of mother and father, if known;

(6) the name, address and telephone number of mother and father's employers, if known;

(7) the availability of health insurance to cover the child, if known;

(8) determination of the child's name on his or her birth certificate;

(9) determination of the custody of the child pursuant to Tennessee Code Annotated, Section 36-6-101 et seq.

(10) determination of visitation or parental access pursuant to Tennessee Code Annotated, Section 36-6-101 et seq.;

(11) determination of child support pursuant to Tennessee Code Annotated, Section 36-5-101 et seq.

In determining retroactive support, if any, deviation from the guidelines may occur at the discretion of the court. The court must make a written finding that application and guidelines would be unjust or inappropriate in order to provide for the best interests of the child or the equity between the parties. Nothing in this provision shall limit the right of the State of Tennessee to recover expenditures made by the State for the benefit of the child or the obligation of the Title IV agency to pursue retroactive support for the custodial parent where appropriate.

(12) determination of liability for funeral expense to either or both parties, if the child is deceased;

(13) determination of liability for a mother's reasonable expenses for her pregnancy, confinement and recovery to either or both parties; and

(14) determination of the liability for counsel fees to either or both parties after consideration of all relevant factors.

(b) This order may include the following:

(1) an order of protection; and

(2) any provision determined to be in the best interests of the child.

(c) All provisions of chapter 5 of this title that relate to child support and Tennessee Code Annotated, Section 50-2-105 shall apply to support orders issued in any action under this chapter.

(d) (1) When the court enters an order in which the paternity of a child is determined or support is ordered, enforced or modified for a child, each individual who is a party to any action pursuant to this part shall be immediately required to file with the court and, if the case is a Title IV-D child support case, shall immediately file with the local Title IV-D child support office and shall update, as appropriate, the party's:

(A) Full name and any change in name;

(B) Social security number and date and place of birth;

(C) Residential and mailing addresses;

(D) Home telephone numbers;

(E) Driver's license number;

(F) The name, address, and telephone number of the person's employer; and,

(G) The availability and cost of health insurance for the child.

So, unless there is an issue wherein the OP is or has been accused of DV against dad, he is LEGALLY REQUIRED to give her his address.

 

[Kimmyf1965]

Thank you Ceara!!!!

There is a deviation of child support since my son is
a. Phyiscally handicapped - - Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy - - Grow Up please read about it so maybe you'll have a little kinder heart about this horrible disease!!!

b. My X does not see my son as the parenting plan states - - No holidays (only uses his weekends) and gives my son a hard time about even taking him then.

I found out about filing for the deviation from this web site. If I'm not mistaken Stealth & LDI have been extemely helpful with my questions in the past. So most of the people here are here to listen and give good solid advise.

I'm not a "Drama Queen" I just do not feel that I should be denied of knowing where my child is. My X knows exactly where I live and has even broke into my house when we first split up. I've never damaged his property or even been accused of this. So his denial of this request would be totally unwarranted.

My court orders clearly state that my x is to provide me proof of income (yearly W-2's and the first 2 pages of his tax return). I've never asked for such documentation to be put on the parenting plan when the parenting plan was set up so I assumed that this was a standard.

Thanks again for response Ceara!! I just simply wanted to know if I was being unreasonable for to feeling that I'm entitled to this information.

 

[moburkes]

Kimmy, I think that GrowUp simply misunderstood what you were saying when you said that dad will not exercise his visitation rights. He thought it meant that you would not allow dad to exercise it. I thought that you meant that he would not longer exercise them.

You also did originally say in your post that the income information WAS required per the parenting plan. It is probably required for the CHILD SUPPORT orders, but not the parenting plan, which is what GU was trying to tell you.

Ceara: the law that you pointed out only required the non-CP to give their address to the court system, not to the other parent.

I agree with the others in that, if you send him mail, it will either get fowarded, or returned back to you, with the new address listed (if he changed it with the post office), if you write on the letter whatever that wording is, and pay for the fee assocaited with returning the mail back to you. Then you will have the address.

 

[ceara19]

Thank you Ceara!!!!

There is a deviation of child support since my son is
a. Phyiscally handicapped - - Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy - - Grow Up please read about it so maybe you'll have a little kinder heart about this horrible disease!!!

b. My X does not see my son as the parenting plan states - - No holidays (only uses his weekends) and gives my son a hard time about even taking him then.

I found out about filing for the deviation from this web site. If I'm not mistaken Stealth & LDI have been extemely helpful with my questions in the past. So most of the people here are here to listen and give good solid advise.

I'm not a "Drama Queen" I just do not feel that I should be denied of knowing where my child is. My X knows exactly where I live and has even broke into my house when we first split up. I've never damaged his property or even been accused of this. So his denial of this request would be totally unwarranted.

My court orders clearly state that my x is to provide me proof of income (yearly W-2's and the first 2 pages of his tax return). I've never asked for such documentation to be put on the parenting plan when the parenting plan was set up so I assumed that this was a standard.

Thanks again for response Ceara!! I just simply wanted to know if I was being unreasonable for to feeling that I'm entitled to this information.

Inform your ex of the statute and hopefully he will give you the info without further problems. As a parent you have the right to know where your child is, just as dad does. Personally, I would think much less of you if you DIDN'T care where your child was, but that's just me. It has nothing to do with whether or not dad is a good parent either. He could be the BEST parent in the world, but sh*t happens. For SAFETY'S sake, you each need to be able to easily contact each other, especially if the child can't just pick up the phone and call if there is a problem.

 

[moburkes]

What does a deviation of child support mean? What does it do?

 

[ceara19]

Kimmy, I think that GrowUp simply misunderstood what you were saying when you said that dad will not exercise his visitation rights. He thought it meant that you would not allow dad to exercise it. I thought that you meant that he would not longer exercise them.

You also did originally say in your post that the income information WAS required per the parenting plan. It is probably required for the CHILD SUPPORT orders, but not the parenting plan, which is what GU was trying to tell you.

Ceara: the law that you pointed out only required the non-CP to give their address to the court system, not to the other parent.

I agree with the others in that, if you send him mail, it will either get fowarded, or returned back to you, with the new address listed (if he changed it with the post office), if you write on the letter whatever that wording is, and pay for the fee assocaited with returning the mail back to you. Then you will have the address.

Further down in the statutes notification by BOTH parties is covered (I think it was under custody & visitation). However, since the OP is apparently the CP and citing all pertinent law would take up pages, I figured if she needed it, she could find it. (It only took me a few seconds using google.)

 

[moburkes]

Further down in the statutes notification by BOTH parties is covered (I think it was under custody & visitation). However, since the OP is apparently the CP and citing all pertinent law would take up pages, I figured if she needed it, she could find it. (It only took me a few seconds using google.)

You're misunderstanding me. I'm simply saying that the way I read, is the court is required to be notified of the address (of both parties), but it doesn't say that the parties are required to notify each other. So, it may be perfectly legal to not notify the other parent.

And, I agree, that if we can look up the info, they can too!