Ex not comprehending again

[truebluemd]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? md

well ex again is misinterpreting our order and I fear he will file another bogus contempt. In that stupid email he copied to my lawyer, he says about lil TB's bday, "You had him last year so I get him this year." Last year there was no order regarding b-day.The current order states each parent shall have reasonable visitation with the child on his b-day. B-day is on a weekend day

I told him to call me for anything that needed to be discussed because I can't discuss all these matters back and forth over emails, and I didnt want his gf telling him what to write, which she does if shes not writing it for him.

Ive left the door open for discussion and Ive asked him to call me numerous times. If he doesnt call to discuss this with me, then what? I know he will file a another contempt if he doesnt get his way.

Also, I informed him of the official spring break which is my year this year. lil TB is in daycare but I thought it best to follow the school spring break. Order says Spring Break and Easter Holiday EOY. He doesnt believe me and he is expecting me to show up for a midweek visit during my spring break week. Again, another potential contempt which he will surely file when I dont show. I really dont want to go back to court for his lack of ability to misinterpret the order. What can be done? What is reasonable visitation on a b-day anyway. 4 hours? 5?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? md

well ex again is misinterpreting our order and I fear he will file another bogus contempt. In that stupid email he copied to my lawyer, he says about lil TB's bday, "You had him last year so I get him this year." Last year there was no order regarding b-day.The current order states each parent shall have reasonable visitation with the child on his b-day. B-day is on a weekend day

I told him to call me for anything that needed to be discussed because I can't discuss all these matters back and forth over emails, and I didnt want his gf telling him what to write, which she does if shes not writing it for him.

Ive left the door open for discussion and Ive asked him to call me numerous times. If he doesnt call to discuss this with me, then what? I know he will file a another contempt if he doesnt get his way.

Also, I informed him of the official spring break which is my year this year. lil TB is in daycare but I thought it best to follow the school spring break. Order says Spring Break and Easter Holiday EOY. He doesnt believe me and he is expecting me to show up for a midweek visit during my spring break week. Again, another potential contempt which he will surely file when I dont show. I really dont want to go back to court for his lack of ability to misinterpret the order. What can be done? What is reasonable visitation on a b-day anyway. 4 hours? 5?

Dear X-Files:

I am just writing to confirm that this year is my spring break holiday and I will be exercising said holiday which means that you will not have your midweek that week. This is in accordance with the attached court order.

Also on Lil TB's birthday, we each get reasonable visitation with him. When would you like to exercise your reasonable visitation. Both of us should be able to spend time with him. I plan to hold his party from x to y.

 

[truebluemd]

Dear X-Files:

I am just writing to confirm that this year is my spring break holiday and I will be exercising said holiday which means that you will not have your midweek that week. This is in accordance with the attached court order.

Already done.

Also on Lil TB's birthday, we each get reasonable visitation with him. When would you like to exercise your reasonable visitation. Both of us should be able to spend time with him. I plan to hold his party from x to y.

Sad that I have to clarify something to him thats written in black and white. I am waiting on him to call and discuss this with me.

Again, what is considered reasonable on a day like this.

 

[wileybunch]

I told him to call me for anything that needed to be discussed because I can't discuss all these matters back and forth over emails, and I didnt want his gf telling him what to write, which she does if shes not writing it for him.

You CAN'T discuss these matters via email or you DON'T WANT to? IMO, this is controlling on your part to think you can dictate that to Dad.

Also, I informed him of the official spring break which is my year this year. lil TB is in daycare but I thought it best to follow the school spring break. Order says Spring Break and Easter Holiday EOY. He doesnt believe me and he is expecting me to show up for a midweek visit during my spring break week.

Curious ... if child doesn't get a spring break because they aren't school age, why is either parent being able to exercise a spring break provision at this time?

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

Good grief, take the kid to Disneyland, you spend from 8-2 with him, he spends 2-8 with him. Why be so difficult? Or better yet, give your child their present, be civil to eachother for a day.

 

[penelope10]

You CAN'T discuss these matters via email or you DON'T WANT to? IMO, this is controlling on your part to think you can dictate that to Dad.

Curious ... if child doesn't get a spring break because they aren't school age, why is either parent being able to exercise a spring break provision at this time?

From a personal standpoint I like doing communication via email---everything is spelled out in black and white. My ex had "selective memory" after we discussed something.

If you had kiddo for all of his b-day last year, and you guys are going to split the time (and you have no formal party set up yet) why don't you ask Dad what times he would like to have the child this year?

I tend to agree with Wiley---the kiddo does not get a Springbreak yet....(unless the daycare closes for the week) Dad should have his midweek visitation IMO.

 

[2Mistakes]

From a personal standpoint I like doing communication via email---everything is spelled out in black and white. My ex had "selective memory" after we discussed something.

If you had kiddo for all of his b-day last year, and you guys are going to split the time (and you have no formal party set up yet) why don't you ask Dad what times he would like to have the child this year?

I tend to agree with Wiley---the kiddo does not get a Springbreak yet....unless the daycare closes for the week) Dad should have his midweek visitation IMO.

I agree about communicating via email. That way there is a record, and neither of us can twist words, or outright lie about what was said. I use email for protection.

It hasn't stopped my ex from saying some really dumb stuff, but hey, at least I have a record of it.

 

[truebluemd]

my ex turns a simple email discussion into 20 emails over a 3 day period. it is very frustrating. his gf has admitted in ct she writes them sometimes. by phone I know I am conversing with him and only him about our child.


spring break is in the order. it does not say don't exercise it until lil tb goes to school.

 

[wileybunch]

my ex turns a simple email discussion into 20 emails over a 3 day period. it is very frustrating. his gf has admitted in ct she writes them sometimes. by phone I know I am conversing with him and only him about our child.

So it's 20 emails. It's not like you CAN'T do it, you don't WANT to. I think your biggest peeve is that he may be having help with his emails and want to corner him on the phone. That's the way it comes off. It doesn't matter who is writing the emails for him, he could even have an attorney write them or post here and ask for advice and have US help write them. That's not something you need to concern yourself with. But, like has been mentioned here, emails make it clear when there is contention and strife exactly what was discussed.

spring break is in the order. it does not say don't exercise it until lil tb goes to school.

Spring break is something that only comes into play when a child is in school, though. It's like saying you're going to alternate staff development days and then follow the public school calendar while child is in daycare and switch off those days. I can see if there were older children involved in the order, too, but one child not yet of school age? Doesn't compute. Yet.

 

[MichaCA]

I think you two could come up with a plan, perhaps whichever parent has the child for spring break that year, they also get to share the childs birthday that same year. Thats assuming you two will alternate spring break every year.

And/or you could do the above, and state the parent not having the spring break visits with the child the day after their birthday...personally I think thats complicated in case of trips used on this time, etc., but I know I dislike not being able to share my daughters birthday somewhere close to the actual day.

 

[truebluemd]

So it's 20 emails. It's not like you CAN'T do it, you don't WANT to. I think your biggest peeve is that he may be having help with his emails and want to corner him on the phone. That's the way it comes off. It doesn't matter who is writing the emails for him, he could even have an attorney write them or post here and ask for advice and have US help write them. That's not something you need to concern yourself with. But, like has been mentioned here, emails make it clear when there is contention and strife exactly what was discussed.

Spring break is something that only comes into play when a child is in school, though. It's like saying you're going to alternate staff development days and then follow the public school calendar while child is in daycare and switch off those days. I can see if there were older children involved in the order, too, but one child not yet of school age? Doesn't compute. Yet.

So, my CO, which says I have Spring Break in 2009 and in odd numbered years thereafter, mean I can't have my Spring Break this year because he is not in grade school. I think you are assuming. If I wasnt taking advantage of the break I wouldnt mind, but I do have plans.

Also, I dont mind emailing FYIs, but to have a back and forth discussion with him via email is frustrating and no, I don't want to do it. The same way he doesnt want to call. Yes I think its immature on both parts

 

[2Mistakes]

So it's 20 emails. It's not like you CAN'T do it, you don't WANT to. I think your biggest peeve is that he may be having help with his emails and want to corner him on the phone. That's the way it comes off. It doesn't matter who is writing the emails for him, he could even have an attorney write them or post here and ask for advice and have US help write them. That's not something you need to concern yourself with. But, like has been mentioned here, emails make it clear when there is contention and strife exactly what was discussed.

BINGO! This is part of the exact reason I will only communicate with my ex via email (absent an emergency.) On the phone, she just talks right over me, doesn't hear a word I say, and then twists the 1-2 words I do get in edge-wise. I'm also pretty sure this is why she can't stand communicating via email. She knows that I'll have my say without her running roughshod all over me.

Spring break is something that only comes into play when a child is in school, though. It's like saying you're going to alternate staff development days and then follow the public school calendar while child is in daycare and switch off those days. I can see if there were older children involved in the order, too, but one child not yet of school age? Doesn't compute. Yet.

I agree. Generally, daycares don't have spring break. I'm not sure why spring break would be included in an order for non-school-age children. Sometimes different schools (even within the same district) have different spring breaks. For a child that doesn't get spring break, how do you REALLY determine when spring break is?

 

[truebluemd]

I agree. Generally, daycares don't have spring break. I'm not sure why spring break would be included in an order for non-school-age children. Sometimes different schools (even within the same district) have different spring breaks. For a child that doesn't get spring break, how do you REALLY determine when spring break is?

You go by the county's school break. Ive actually read that somewhere in here

 

[2Mistakes]

You go by the county's school break. Ive actually read that somewhere in here

And what if different schools within that county don't have spring break at the same time? Happens here.

 

[wileybunch]

So, my CO, which says I have Spring Break in 2009 and in odd numbered years thereafter, mean I can't have my Spring Break this year because he is not in grade school. I think you are assuming. If I wasnt taking advantage of the break I wouldnt mind, but I do have plans.

Well, to be clear, your court order didn't say that, one or the other of you did and put it into the court order. Who did and why? What were they thinking? Is Dad on the same page that there is in fact a spring break for this child that's not in a setting that HAS a spring break this year? If so, it doesn't matter what we think if you all are on the same page. If not, would like to know what Dad's position is.