Ex Wants to Move Out of State

[Screwed99]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

Hello.

I am currently married and filed for divorce on 01/29/2008 after being married for five weeks. My wife gave birth on 8/26/2008. Paternity has been established after a DNA test and child support has been set. The issue of spousal support is still unresolved and has not been set by the courts yet. At our last court hearing we agreed to work out the visitation schedule ourselves but she now no longer wants me around spending time with my son, she is also stating that she wants to move out of State in order to limit our contact. I have two questions.

1). When I go back to court what sort of visitation if any can I look forward to? My son is still less than three months old.

2). Is there anything I can do to prevent her moving out of State?

Thanks.

 

[nextwife]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

Hello.

I am currently married and filed for divorce on 01/29/2008 after being married for five weeks. My wife gave birth on 8/26/2008. Paternity has been established after a DNA test and child support has been set. The issue of spousal support is still unresolved and has not been set by the courts yet. At our last court hearing we agreed to work out the visitation schedule ourselves but she now no longer wants me around spending time with my son, she is also stating that she wants to move out of State in order to limit our contact. I have two questions.

1). When I go back to court what sort of visitation if any can I look forward to? My son is still less than three months old.

2). Is there anything I can do to prevent her moving out of State?

Thanks.

Are you CRAZY? Why are you even allowing spousal support to be discussed when you were married only five WEEKS? I have stuff in my refrigerator that's been around longer than that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

File for a geographic restriction and shared physical and legal custody. You should fight for sufficient time with your child in your home INCLUDING overnights.

 

[ErinGoBragh]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IL

Hello.

I am currently married and filed for divorce on 01/29/2008 after being married for five weeks. My wife gave birth on 8/26/2008. Paternity has been established after a DNA test and child support has been set. The issue of spousal support is still unresolved and has not been set by the courts yet. At our last court hearing we agreed to work out the visitation schedule ourselves but she now no longer wants me around spending time with my son, she is also stating that she wants to move out of State in order to limit our contact. I have two questions.

1). When I go back to court what sort of visitation if any can I look forward to? My son is still less than three months old.

2). Is there anything I can do to prevent her moving out of State?

Thanks.

You can expected anything from supervised visitation (but only if there are concerns over the safety of the child) or occasional visits like EOW to 50/50. It depends on many different things. It will probably start out as less time and work up to more.

As far as her moving, you can't prevent HER from moving out of the state but you can prevent her from taking the child with her. You'd have to file a motion in court if that occurred.

 

[nextwife]

You can expected anything from supervised visitation (but only if there are concerns over the safety of the child) or occasional visits like EOW to 50/50. It depends on many different things. It will probably start out as less time and work up to more.

As far as her moving, you can't prevent HER from moving out of the state but you can prevent her from taking the child with her. You'd have to file a motion in court if that occurred.

This is a child of the marriage. WHY would there be a presumption of any need for supervised visitation for him any more than for her, concerns for safety in his care any more than such concerns when in hers??

 

[Screwed99]

Are you CRAZY? Why are you even allowing spousal support to be discussed when you were married only five WEEKS? I have stuff in my refrigerator that's been around longer than that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

File for a geographic restriction and shared physical and legal custody. You should fight for sufficient time with your child in your home INCLUDING overnights.

I'm no expert in law but she hasn't worked in a long time and is claiming that it will be very hard for her to find decent employment. She also has two other kids to support. I make a decent living. We are still married and she is claiming that child support in the amount of $770 per month is not enough for her so she has filed a motion for spousal support in additional to child support. Apparently she is stating that she is not in receipt of child support for her two other sons. If I am court ordered to pay spousal support I don't have a choice.

 

[ErinGoBragh]

This is a child of the marriage. WHY would there be a presumption of any need for supervised visitation for him any more than for her, concerns for safety in his care any more than such concerns when in hers??

I'm just saying. We have next to no information surrounding the divorce. I'm assuming there's no safety concerns but it's better to cover all bases when responding.

 

[nextwife]

I'm no expert in law but she hasn't worked in a long time and is claiming that it will be very hard for her to find decent employment. She also has two other kids to support. I make a decent living. We are still married and she is claiming that child support in the amount of $770 per month is not enough for her so she has filed a motion for spousal support in additional to child support. Apparently she is stating that she is not in receipt of child support for her two other sons. If I am court ordered to pay spousal support I don't have a choice.

A. You have NO responsibility to support the other children she chose to have with other men.

B. If you had a very short term marriage, her not working was obviously NOT a choice that was imposed by your marriage, but her choice that PRECEEDED your marriage. She can go back to what she was doing before she married you. Her failure to be in the workforce and develop sustainable employment skills is NOT due to to your marriage.

Do HER a favor, if you want to and are willing to pay more: TEMPORARILY pay 100% of child care so she can get back into the workforce and develop the ability to SUPPORT HERSELF and to someday have her own retirement savings. SS for such a very short marriage is insane. You need to fight this. STBX needs to get over her sense that everyone EXCEPT her is responsible to support her, and support the kids she has. She should be sharing in the support of her children. If she "hasn't worked in a long time" she was failing to provide her share of her kid's financial support long before your marriage.

She will have a very ugly surprise when her youngest ages out of CS if she doesn't change her dependency pattern.

Betcha the desired out of state move is to have yet someone else support her next.

 

[Screwed99]

Okay, thanks for replying to my questions.

 

[onebreath]

Again, file to object to her move, and as another poster said, file for local jurisdiction. Do it ASAP.

 

[Ohiogal]

Okay, thanks for replying to my questions.

Did you even request a paternity test to find out if this is YOUR child and not the child of the other person she was sleeping with? You were the one posting that she was sleeping around and you married her only to find out about the pregnancy, correct?

 

[CJane]

This is a child of the marriage. WHY would there be a presumption of any need for supervised visitation for him any more than for her, concerns for safety in his care any more than such concerns when in hers??

He filed for divorce SEVEN MONTHS before the child was born. Unless he posts otherwise, it's safe to assume he's not developed a significant/bonded relationship with the 3 month old baby at this point.

A graduated schedule/supervised (instructional) visits would be completely appropriate.

And, IMO a DNA test would be MORE than appropriate.

Spousal support, while IMO completely insane might also be ordered if it can be shown that he abandoned her while she was carrying his child. In my limited experience, IL LOVES spousal support.

EX: A friend of mine was a professor making about 60K/year. His wife was a hospital administrator making about $180K/year. She quit her job to 'stay home' with the school age children. 2 months later, she filed for divorce/spousal support. She was awarded spousal support for 1/2 the length of the marriage because she was unemployed at the time of the divorce. Nevermind her earning capacity, her excellent education, her impeccable resume. She wasn't working at the time. End of story.

 

[CourtClerk]

He filed for divorce SEVEN MONTHS before the child was born. Unless he posts otherwise, it's safe to assume he's not developed a significant/bonded relationship with the 3 month old baby at this point.

A graduated schedule/supervised (instructional) visits would be completely appropriate.

And, IMO a DNA test would be MORE than appropriate.

Spousal support, while IMO completely insane might also be ordered if it can be shown that he abandoned her while she was carrying his child. In my limited experience, IL LOVES spousal support.

EX: A friend of mine was a professor making about 60K/year. His wife was a hospital administrator making about $180K/year. She quit her job to 'stay home' with the school age children. 2 months later, she filed for divorce/spousal support. She was awarded spousal support for 1/2 the length of the marriage because she was unemployed at the time of the divorce. Nevermind her earning capacity, her excellent education, her impeccable resume. She wasn't working at the time. End of story.

Were your friend and his wife only married 5 weeks??? Also, your friend's wife had a job and quit. The OP's wife didn't work prior to the marriage.

 

[CJane]

Were your friend and his wife only married 5 weeks??? Also, your friend's wife had a job and quit. The OP's wife didn't work prior to the marriage.

I realize the facts of the cases aren't the same. However, that doesn't change the fact that for some reason, spousal support IS in play and IS being considered by the courts. Rather than tell OP that he's insane to consider the possibility, I think it's wise to warn him that SS in Illinois is almost a given - ESPECIALLY if she can show that he was supporting her previous to the marriage and then abandoned her during the marriage/pregnancy.

And i missed that a DNA test has already been performed.

 

[CourtClerk]

I realize the facts of the cases aren't the same. However, that doesn't change the fact that for some reason, spousal support IS in play and IS being considered by the courts.

We don't know that it is being considered by the courts, only that the STBX has filed a motion for it. The OP hasn't said anything about there being a hearing on the issue as of yet.

 

[CJane]

We don't know that it is being considered by the courts, only that the STBX has filed a motion for it. The OP hasn't said anything about there being a hearing on the issue as of yet.

We're reading it differently then, and OP should clarify.

He said "The issue of spousal support is still unresolved and has not been set by the courts yet." TO ME, that means that the court is considering it, but has not set an amount/time frame.