Extended Summer Visitation

[DA412]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TN

For the past 3 years, my 11 year old daughter has been flying down to LA to stay with me for 5 weeks over the summer. (She also comes down during Spring Break, Thanksgiving and Christmas) This past summer, she stayed with me for 6 weeks because I missed my Spring Break week long visit with her (she had surgery a couple weeks prior and Mom and I agreed she didn't need to be traveling).

I'm wanting to have some extra time with her during the summer, since all of the visits have gone really well. Atleast a week extra like this past summer, maybe two. Is it too early to go back to court for a visitation mod? Obviously, nobody knows what a judge will do but, has anyone else seen a judge grant longer visits over the summer?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[seniorjudge]

You're right about two things: (1) you need to get started asap; and (b) no one knows what will happen.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TN

For the past 3 years, my 11 year old daughter has been flying down to LA to stay with me for 5 weeks over the summer. (She also comes down during Spring Break, Thanksgiving and Christmas) This past summer, she stayed with me for 6 weeks because I missed my Spring Break week long visit with her (she had surgery a couple weeks prior and Mom and I agreed she didn't need to be traveling).

I'm wanting to have some extra time with her during the summer, since all of the visits have gone really well. Atleast a week extra like this past summer, maybe two. Is it too early to go back to court for a visitation mod? Obviously, nobody knows what a judge will do but, has anyone else seen a judge grant longer visits over the summer?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

How long is her actual summer break? Its unlikely you would get the entire summer, but you might get more than 5 weeks.

 

[DA412]

How long is her actual summer break? Its unlikely you would get the entire summer, but you might get more than 5 weeks.

I wouldn't want the entire summer, I know that's not fair to my daughter or her mom. The entire length of her summer break varies, but it averages out to between 10-11 weeks.

 

[DA412]

I also realize that if I were to get longer visits, her summer break wouldn't be split evenly with Mom. That's why I wanted to see what y'all think.

 

[LdiJ]

I also realize that if I were to get longer visits, her summer break wouldn't be split evenly with Mom. That's why I wanted to see what y'all think.

Generally summer is split pretty evenly. There are exceptions to that of course. So its kind of hard to predict whether or not the courts would change your current status quo. 7 weeks might be pushing it because mom would then end up with only 3 or 4.

 

[DA412]

Generally summer is split pretty evenly. There are exceptions to that of course. So its kind of hard to predict whether or not the courts would change your current status quo. 7 weeks might be pushing it because mom would then end up with only 3 or 4.

Yeah, I thought about that, too. Even if I could only get 1 extra week, I'd be happy with that. I see her only a handful of times throughout the year, I just wish I could spend more quality time with her.

I'd ask Mom to work with me on it outside of court, but I know she won't. She only wanted me to have our daughter 2 weeks during the summer.

It's been 3 years since our last mod, has it been long enough to request another?

 

[seniorjudge]

Yeah, I thought about that, too. Even if I could only get 1 extra week, I'd be happy with that. I see her only a handful of times throughout the year, I just wish I could spend more quality time with her.

I'd ask Mom to work with me on it outside of court, but I know she won't. She only wanted me to have our daughter 2 weeks during the summer.

It's been 3 years since our last mod, has it been long enough to request another?

You're right about two things: (1) you need to get started asap; and (b) no one knows what will happen.

 

[DA412]

(1) you need to get started asap;.

Meaning, if I want a new court order to go into effect for next summer, I should get started now...?

 

[LdiJ]

Meaning, if I want a new court order to go into effect for next summer, I should get started now...?

Yes, that is what he is saying, and yes, 3 years is long enough that requesting a modification would be reasonable.

 

[DA412]

Yes, that is what he is saying, and yes, 3 years is long enough that requesting a modification would be reasonable.

Okay, thank y'all.

 

[mistoffolees]

Generally summer is split pretty evenly. There are exceptions to that of course. So its kind of hard to predict whether or not the courts would change your current status quo. 7 weeks might be pushing it because mom would then end up with only 3 or 4.

it is not at all unusual for the summer to be split unevenly. When both parents are fully involved with the child's life before the split and if the parents get along reasonably well, 50:50 physical custody is becoming far more common. When that is not possible for geographic reasons, it is very common for the NCP to get more than 1/2 of the summer.

OP is asking for an extra week in the summer - 6 weeks instead of 5. That is a very reasonable request. The important thing is to discuss the request in terms of why it is better for the child than the current situation.

 

[DA412]

it is not at all unusual for the summer to be split unevenly. When both parents are fully involved with the child's life before the split and if the parents get along reasonably well, 50:50 physical custody is becoming far more common. When that is not possible for geographic reasons, it is very common for the NCP to get more than 1/2 of the summer.

OP is asking for an extra week in the summer - 6 weeks instead of 5. That is a very reasonable request. The important thing is to discuss the request in terms of why it is better for the child than the current situation.

Thank you for the advice, Mist.

I'll be sure to update for posterity.

 

[neopandora]

OP is asking for an extra week in the summer - 6 weeks instead of 5. That is a very reasonable request. The important thing is to discuss the request in terms of why it is better for the child than the current situation.

The underlined could be very important. While the request for an extra week appears to be reasonable, standard ncp is only 2 weeks of the summer and OP is getting 1/2 the summer already (10 full weeks of summer). Often you will see it 2 weeks on with each parent for the summer. I've seen it granted up to 8 weeks continuous, but the CP can still visit every other weekend during that time if they desire, and those are cases where more school holidays are given up in exchange for most of the visitation occurring in the summer.


My suggestion to OP would be that seeing you don't get Fall break, I'd look at offering mom Fall break in exchange for the extra week in the summer. Most schools in TN have an Easter break as well as Spring break (barring bad winter weather taking it away). It might help you to approach it with continuing to allow her to have those extra 2 breaks in exchange for 1 more week in the summer.

 

[DA412]

Update

I have an update to my situation and a few more questions.

Since I started this thread, I've been trying to work with Mom on negotiating an extra week during the summer (6 instead of 5) with my, now 12yo, daughter. For financial reasons, I've been trying to persuade her to come to an agreement amongst ourselves.

We're now going into February and I would like to have everything resolved so that our new court order would go into effect by the summer. She was still unwilling to bend, so I told her I had no choice but to move forward with my attorney and have a judge settle our differences.

I explained the situation to my attorney who agreed that we should really try to come to some sort of agreement, as it would be a shame to waste so much money on court and attorneys fees over just one extra week during the summer.

He suggested, as Neopandora did in the previous post, that I should concede the Fall Break (which is in October and different from the Thanksgiving Break in November) to gain an extra week during the summer.

I suggested this to Mom and she responded that the only way she would agree to the 6 weeks is if, for some reason, the school system doesn't have the Fall Break each year, that I should give up my extra week back to her. The school system has only been doing Fall Breaks for, going on, 3 years now and she says she doesn't want to agree to something that may or may not be permanent.

What do y'all think? Should I agree or just ask the judge for 6 weeks, along with alternating the Fall Break? Is it likely he would rule in my favor?