Failing to Provide Necessary Items for Visitation

[jeanine]

What is the name of your state? NY

Isn't the CP supposed to send the child with everything he/she needs for weekend visitation with NCP?

CP refuses to send child's gear for baseball games on weekends NCP has visitation. NCP brings child to these games but CP or someone in her family will show up with the child's baseball equipment so he is the ONLY child who has to change at the field (sometimes in her car).

CP says NCP doesn't return stuff and that's why she won't send baseball stuff with child - which is a load of BS. This past game, CP had a camcorder stuck in NCP's face (on NCP's weekend) and berated him on camera about how he should buy equipment if he wants it there. Anyone who has ever played baseball knows that mitts are like a pair of old shoes - you want to use the one broken in. Since NCP has child 4 days out of a month, he knows child won't use anything he buys for these games.

So again the question is, isn't CP supposed to send child with everything needed for the weekend? Also, why does she show up for games on NCP's weekends? Can that be prevented? Especially since now she's sticking camcorder in his face in an effort to antagonize him? I think NCP shouldn't even go to games without said equipment but child loses in the end. There is nothing in the court order ordering NCP to attend these events - he does it for benefit of child but if the antagonizing continues, no more games.

Any advice much appreciated.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

What is the name of your state? NY

Isn't the CP supposed to send the child with everything he/she needs for weekend visitation with NCP?

CP refuses to send child's gear for baseball games on weekends NCP has visitation. NCP brings child to these games but CP or someone in her family will show up with the child's baseball equipment so he is the ONLY child who has to change at the field (sometimes in her car).

CP says NCP doesn't return stuff and that's why she won't send baseball stuff with child - which is a load of BS. This past game, CP had a camcorder stuck in NCP's face (on NCP's weekend) and berated him on camera about how he should buy equipment if he wants it there. Anyone who has ever played baseball knows that mitts are like a pair of old shoes - you want to use the one broken in. Since NCP has child 4 days out of a month, he knows child won't use anything he buys for these games.

So again the question is, isn't CP supposed to send child with everything needed for the weekend? Also, why does she show up for games on NCP's weekends? Can that be prevented? Especially since now she's sticking camcorder in his face in an effort to antagonize him? I think NCP shouldn't even go to games without said equipment but child loses in the end. There is nothing in the court order ordering NCP to attend these events - he does it for benefit of child but if the antagonizing continues, no more games.

Any advice much appreciated.

======================================


My response:

. . . and which child are we talking about?

There are psychological counselors for these types of situations. But, this is "ticky-tacky" and childish. There is no law that can help these children, and no violations of a court order. Counselors can help all of these children "get along" for the benefit of, and in the best interests of, the baseball playing child - - as well as all of the "adult" children in the scenario.

Make an appointment.

IAAL

 

[megmoncada]

As far as a baseball glove, yes the child should bring it.
But everything that the child needs no. If my child was playing ball and had a game on a day that I didn't have the child, I would be there no matter what, the NCP and the CP have everyright to go to all games. Just stay on the other side of the field. Be there for your child, grow up.

 

[jeanine]

Counseling? Been there done that. Every therapist, counselor, guardian ad litem, social worker, guidance counselor, principal, teacher, etc. says its the CP causing all the problems. Judge has threatened to change custody if she doesn't cut the crap. She might even lose custody at our next hearing.

She is a control freak. Even the coach asked her why she brought a camcorder - it was only a practice. She couldn't come out and say, to harass my ex spouse. Could she?

I agree it is stupid and juvenile but for anyone whose read my older posts, CP has been a problem since the day child was born, denied visitation, made false accusations, her father grabs his crouch, they lie. This is just another way of her to control the situation and in essence still control her ex spouse while making it uncomfortable for all involved - including the child. It's like she wants a confrontation.

Megmom - Thanks, but I am all grown up.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Counseling? Been there done that. Every therapist, counselor, guardian ad litem, social worker, guidance counselor, principal, teacher, etc. says its the CP causing all the problems. Judge has threatened to change custody if she doesn't cut the crap. She might even lose custody at our next hearing.

She is a control freak. Even the coach asked her why she brought a camcorder - it was only a practice. She couldn't come out and say, to harass my ex spouse. Could she?

I agree it is stupid and juvenile but for anyone whose read my older posts, CP has been a problem since the day child was born, denied visitation, made false accusations, her father grabs his crouch, they lie. This is just another way of her to control the situation and in essence still control her ex spouse while making it uncomfortable for all involved - including the child. It's like she wants a confrontation.

Megmom - Thanks, but I am all grown up.

=====================================


My response:

Okay. Then why did you write your post? You seem to have all the answers already.

Needed to vent?

IAAL

 

[jeanine]

Vent, yes but still wanted to know if CP is supposed to send everything child needs for weekend visitation?! I thought yes, but I guess I'm wrong. I know I would send my child with everything he needed so he didn't have to get undressed in my car in front of his little friends. But to each his own.

I think part of the problem is the court's expect "parents" will use common sense and that's why they don't spell out things in orders like CP will send child with necessary items for visitation or NCP will call child once a week and not be hung up on. I think if more court orders realized that when couples divorce they get retarded, they'd spell out things more clearly in decrees - ya know so a 3rd grader can understand.

Whoops, more venting...

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Vent, yes but still wanted to know if CP is supposed to send everything child needs for weekend visitation?! I thought yes, but I guess I'm wrong. I know I would send my child with everything he needed so he didn't have to get undressed in my car in front of his little friends. But to each his own.

I think part of the problem is the court's expect "parents" will use common sense and that's why they don't spell out things in orders like CP will send child with necessary items for visitation or NCP will call child once a week and not be hung up on. I think if more court orders realized that when couples divorce they get retarded, they'd spell out things more clearly in decrees - ya know so a 3rd grader can understand.

Whoops, more venting...

====================================

My response:

If most adults could "communicate" and act like "adults" in the first place, there never would have been a divorce. So, don't expect it now. Judges don't decide "stupidity" or other "ticky-tacky" squabble problems. There's no way in hell a judge can decide every single little bit of human interaction - - whether good or bad. If that were the case, a judge would have to start living with the parties and act like a full time referee.

So, if all else has failed concerning this particular problem, then this is the cross you're going to have to bear as a stepparent. If you don't like what's going on, get out now.

IAAL

 

[KCMR]

Went through the same thing last year.
Let me just say this....it certainly isn't going to help her case.
In the meantime, buy a glove for your son for your house, a set of cleats, ect.

I had to do the same thing.

 

[ktarra617]

for a while my hubby's ex met us at the game with all the equipment then it got to be a hassle for her because she had to stop what she was doing and go meet us so she started sending the equipment with us when my hubby picked up his kid, sometimes she shows to the games and sometimes she doesn't it depends on her moods.

but no you cannot stop the cp from being at the games on the ncp's weekend.

and the cp is not required to send anything at all although common sense would dictate they would atleast send sports equipment but then common sense rarely has a place in divorces and the aftermath...

 

[jeanine]

Amen Ktarra! Honestly, we'd never prevent her from going to the games as both parents should be there for the child. But after having a camcorder stuck in our faces we were like "what the?" Some people just have nothing better to do I suppose. Who the heck wants to go to these things if there is a camcorder stuck in your face (I still wonder if she got a nice shot of my nostrils - hee!)

With this antagonizing behavior, I can see the judge siding with us if we choose not to attend these events.

 

[withonel]

Sorry, gotta jump in here...another baseball mom.
Don't stop going to the games, it means so much to the kids!
Someone putting a camcorder in your face is certainly rude, but everyone can see that and the CP just looks like an idiot...don't reward her bad behavior by staying away.
I really hate having to see my ex at every game, but we just don't sit together and we're both there for our son.
I don't know how old your kid is, but my son's coach has stressed from day one that it's my son's responsibility to have his equipment at games and practices.
Ignore the CP, keep an extra glove in the car, buy an extra uniform and keep going to those games!

 

[stealth2]

Actually, the only thing he'd need to change into is baseball pants and a cup. You're talking $35-40 all told. Everything else he does not need to change in privacy. If you want to make it easier so he has sanitaries & socks - that's maybe another $10. If Mom's going, she'll have his cleats, shirt, glove, etc.

There is nothing to prevent her from attending every practice and every game. Nor is there anything preventing her from taping every one of each (and as it happens - videos are great training tools). I'd suggest all the adults grow up and at the very least ignore the antagonism - and just watch the kid play.

 

[lilsister]

The CP is a wacko. Just ignore her and go to the games for the child's benefit. And when she has the camera in your face just say cheese.

 

[stealth2]

With this antagonizing behavior, I can see the judge siding with us if we choose not to attend these events.

Siding with you in what way? Sure, he may tell her to lay off with the camcorder in the ex's face, and maybe even to stay away from him. But that's about it. All staying away does is hurt the kid. Which is not the most mature way of handling it.

 

[distressedwife]

Failing to provide necessary items for visitation

Let her put a camcorder in your face. If you ignore her and let her talk her smack, when she watches the tape, she'll realize how stupid she acted.

You can't deny her from not being at the games. It's a public place. The best thing is to ignore her. It's better to have your own equipment, that way he can practice with his dad whenever he's over.