Father seeking primary custody - needing opinions/advice

[mistoffolees]

Considering it means "illicit lover of a married person," and I didn't even know him when he was married...much less become his lover, until well after he became single...I would have to disagree.

Disagree all you want - you're still wrong.

You gave only the first definition for paramour. The second definition (at least according to dictionary.com) is 'any lover'. So you are a paramour.

 

[chataine]

Disagree all you want - you're still wrong.

You gave only the first definition for paramour. The second definition (at least according to dictionary.com) is 'any lover'. So you are a paramour.

Except that you're using the archaic definition, which isn't actually relevant. And certainly not relevant to the original topic.

— n
1. derogatory chiefly a lover, esp an adulterous woman
2. an archaic word for beloved

I can't for the life of me figure out why you folks want to nitpick things that aren't actually relevant to the OT...

 

[LdiJ]

Disagree all you want - you're still wrong.

You gave only the first definition for paramour. The second definition (at least according to dictionary.com) is 'any lover'. So you are a paramour.

I know the dictionary definition of that word, but I dislike the fact that it has become so "popular" on this forum. Anyone at all well read in 18th and early 19th century literature would tend to find that word offensive.

Men had their "mistresses" which indicated a kept woman with whom they had an adulterous relationship, and paramour indicated a kept man with whom a woman had an adulterous relationship.

Think "giggalo" in today's vernacular.

 

[mistoffolees]

Except that you're using the archaic definition, which isn't actually relevant. And certainly not relevant to the original topic.

It's a perfectly valid definition - whether you like it or not.

But, you're right-it's not relevant to the original topic. The relevant fact is that you have no place in the matter and are a legal stranger - whether you call yourself a paramour or a bedwarmer.

 

[Ohiogal]

I know the dictionary definition of that word, but I dislike the fact that it has become so "popular" on this forum. Anyone at all well read in 18th and early 19th century literature would tend to find that word offensive.

Men had their "mistresses" which indicated a kept woman with whom they had an adulterous relationship, and paramour indicated a kept man with whom a woman had an adulterous relationship.

Think "giggalo" in today's vernacular.

Actually "paramour" is a LEGAL term. And "giggalo" is NOT a word.
Paramour is ANY lover.
Paramour Law & Legal Definition

Paramour is a lover, especially one in an adulterous relationship. In other words an illicit lover.

A LOVER. She is his lover. Unless she is not having sex with him and then she is just the latest girlfriend.
As this is a LEGAL site the LEGAL definition matters. It does NOT apply to ONLY adulterous lovers. But hey if it makes her feel better to be a bedwarmer, more power to her.

ETA: Illicit means one not within the bounds of the law. Meaning not within MARRIAGE or domestic partnership (in states that allow them). Hence she is his lover without benefit of marriage or other legal relationship. See, legal term.

 

[Ohiogal]

Except that you're using the archaic definition, which isn't actually relevant. And certainly not relevant to the original topic.



I can't for the life of me figure out why you folks want to nitpick things that aren't actually relevant to the OT...

It is the legal definition that matters and it is relevant to your LEGAl standing. As a paramour, you have NO legal standiner. .

 

[SESmama]

The point being...

1) stay out of the business between mom and dad
2) Dad has nothing really to indicate a change of custody is warranted
3) Dad needs to file for a long distance parenting plan if he wants specified time with the kids

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

For some parents, "reasonable rights of visitation" actually work. My boys' dad and I had it. He worked swing shift with rotating days off. So, he took them on his days off. Sure would have been difficult with an EOW or 1st, 3rd, 5th weekend scenario.

But then again, we were adults and thought what was best for the children.

Said wording would never have worked with my girls' dad.

 

[Proserpina]

The point being...

1) stay out of the business between mom and dad
2) Dad has nothing really to indicate a change of custody is warranted
3) Dad needs to file for a long distance parenting plan if he wants specified time with the kids

Maybe OP will listen to you, SES!

I know the same things were said earlier...

 

[LdiJ]

For some parents, "reasonable rights of visitation" actually work. My boys' dad and I had it. He worked swing shift with rotating days off. So, he took them on his days off. Sure would have been difficult with an EOW or 1st, 3rd, 5th weekend scenario.

But then again, we were adults and thought what was best for the children.

Said wording would never have worked with my girls' dad.

It worked for me and my ex too. Unfortunately however, I don't know many other people that it would have worked with. I know of a few, but not many.