feeling left out

[okiesooner]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

I dont want to come across as a bitter ex spouse that is constantly loooking for a reason to haul their former spouse in court.

I have some concerns. Today I finally received the enrollment that I had been asking for on one of my children. I had been asking for months always getting an excuse. Well I noticed that in the father section I was omited or put N/A and in some places I was literally penciled in by my ex at the bottom. In other spots the step dad is listed as father.

I talked to the dentist office today to who originally didn't want to give me records. Well they are going to send them, but was able to talk briefly to find out that my kids is haivng more fillings, and baby teeth extracted due to decay. A couple years ago I took her when I returned form deployment and she had 6 cavities, a visit I toolk her to after that she was cavity free. then 6 months later (while she was with my ex) she had decay so bad that she had to have a caps put in baby teeth. I asked my ex how her teeth got so bad within 6 months and she hung up on me. On the childrens next visitation I took them they had no cavities. 6 months later ex take them and now we have more cavities and teeth being pulled due to decay, and that is within 6 months!!
I have had the dentist here tell me that mom must brush her teeth better!!

Our court order states she doesnt have to tell me. But the last time she sent me the bill which I paid and thats how I found out....this time she hasnt told me or sent the bill....I am guessing to keep the info from me.

Am I being a nag for being concerned?

Is there a legal avenue to pursue and would it be worth it?

 

[MrsK]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

I dont want to come across as a bitter ex spouse that is constantly loooking for a reason to haul their former spouse in court.

I have some concerns. Today I finally received the enrollment that I had been asking for on one of my children. I had been asking for months always getting an excuse. Well I noticed that in the father section I was omited or put N/A and in some places I was literally penciled in by my ex at the bottom. In other spots the step dad is listed as father.

I talked to the dentist office today to who originally didn't want to give me records. Well they are going to send them, but was able to talk briefly to find out that my kids is haivng more fillings, and baby teeth extracted due to decay. A couple years ago I took her when I returned form deployment and she had 6 cavities, a visit I toolk her to after that she was cavity free. then 6 months later (while she was with my ex) she had decay so bad that she had to have a caps put in baby teeth. I asked my ex how her teeth got so bad within 6 months and she hung up on me. On the childrens next visitation I took them they had no cavities. 6 months later ex take them and now we have more cavities and teeth being pulled due to decay, and that is within 6 months!!
I have had the dentist here tell me that mom must brush her teeth better!!

Our court order states she doesnt have to tell me. But the last time she sent me the bill which I paid and thats how I found out....this time she hasnt told me or sent the bill....I am guessing to keep the info from me.

Am I being a nag for being concerned?

Is there a legal avenue to pursue and would it be worth it?

IMO, that is neglect. Esp b/c the dentist is saying mom needs to brush the child's teeth better.

How old is this child?

 

[okiesooner]

The child is 6...this has been going on since she was 4...my other child had no cavities but I contactd the preschool he goes to and they brush their teeth 2x per day there....

Like I said I am not trying to be a hag....On one hand the kids are doing well in school, but the whole dental thing bothers me. My ex and her husband haved even moved in with her parents after he quite his job (he was military and got out).....you would think with all those people in the house someone could brush their teeth!!!

 

[eme76]

have the 2 dentists ever discused this matter? sometimes it is possible that the dentist not the parent is the problem

 

[MrsK]

The child is 6...this has been going on since she was 4...my other child had no cavities but I contactd the preschool he goes to and they brush their teeth 2x per day there....

Like I said I am not trying to be a hag....On one hand the kids are doing well in school, but the whole dental thing bothers me. My ex and her husband haved even moved in with her parents after he quite his job (he was military and got out).....you would think with all those people in the house someone could brush their teeth!!!

those are pretty serious dental problems for a 6 yr old. I know my 2 yr old stepdaughter has (literally) butter yellow teeth & the beginnings (if not already...) of a cavity & I honestly wonder how such young children could have such dental problems (except that I know her mother isnt brushing her often enough & long enough). I have NEVER had a cavity & I am 23 and my older children are 3 & 4 & have never had a single problem, so it astounds me to see very young children with a lot of dental issues.

 

[shell007]

those are pretty serious dental problems for a 6 yr old. I know my 2 yr old stepdaughter has (literally) butter yellow teeth & the beginnings (if not already...) of a cavity & I honestly wonder how such young children could have such dental problems (except that I know her mother isnt brushing her often enough & long enough). I have NEVER had a cavity & I am 23 and my older children are 3 & 4 & have never had a single problem, so it astounds me to see very young children with a lot of dental issues.

Although I can see the initial cause for concern, but sometimes "it is what it is".

Both of my children brush at minimum twice daily (before school and bed time), swish with fluoride, and floss.

My son (now 10) has very poor teeth. Butter yellow and full of cavities, and he has had two extractions. He hates candy and anything sweet (even ice cream). He chooses salty foods consistently when given the choice. The dentist says "poor genetics". We finally had to have his teeth "sealed" in order to try and prevent future problems.

My daughter, on the other hand, craves candy and anything/everything else with sugar. NOT ONE CAVITY!! Her teeth are as white as snow.

Anyway, moral of the story...it may not be the parent's fault.

 

[brotymo]

I can vouch for the situation with kids teeth. My son has terrible problems. His first $400.00 dental visit happened when he was only 2 and a half. All his molars have cavities. We can't even DO the sealants b/c the back teeth literally come in already decaying when they haven't even broken the gums yet fully. He is only 9 and has a crown already. I have spent thousands, and look to spend many thousands more to give him a smile he can feel confident with. My daughters, on the other hand have great teeth...so go figure. I have managed their teeth all with the same care, and even spent more time on my sons since I knew early on there was some problem.

 

[Halls]

My son who brushes his teeth daily when he is with me always have severe tartar built up on his front teeth. The dentist always remarks about how much build up he has. I assume his teeth are being brushed daily at his dads, but if they are not there isn't much I can do about it. However, I have physical custody of my son so he is getting his teeth brushed most of the time. Anyhow, sometimes kids just have dental issues no matter how much they are brushing the teeth or not.

As far as the other issues. I know it hurts not to feel included and that it does sound like your ex is doing it on purpose. Maybe you need to sit down with her and tell her your feelings about it. DOn't get mad or angry, but simply just tell her it hurts you and you want to be dad in every way that counts. Maybe it will make a difference with her, maybe not. But at least try!