Fictitious non-contact order

[Just Blue]

My choice of the word "nanny" was to denote someone who looks after children. Am I missing something here?

The mother was quite happy to have the girl earning some money from us. Our objections to assault and battery made her less happy.

I, as the mother of two daughters, would not allow my CHILD to be a "nanny". I MAY allow my CHILD to be a babysitter or child care giver (depending on the situation). What YOU have posted is just...WRONG and GROSS.

Perhaps you can find some TWIA to be free "nanny" for your child. I will say a prayer for your child.

 

[justalayman]

Sigh... to cut a long story short, the girl came to us for protection. Should I have crept away and let her get beaten to a pulp? And yes, we did notify the Child Abuse Hotline as described above. Your propensity to make wrong assumptions reminds me of the small-town mentality we're encountering here.

OK so maybe I won't be talking with the lawyer about his client, except to ask him to get the court to confirm if the age is 16 or 17. Whose job is it to answer these questions authoritatively?

small town mentality? I guess in the big city the must not care what happens to their pre-adult citizens if I have a small town mentality.
Ya see, unless you have known this child for a considerable period of time, you are an interloper with not enough information to know what the real situation is. You have made no claim to knowing this child any longer than she has been babysitting for you and haven't even suggested even that has been going on very long. I may be from a small town but I still know how manipulative a 16 yo kid can be. Every 16 yo kid hates their parents because they think they are grown up yet mom and dad insist on rules. Dang rules. Why do they have to make rules? If the parents would just let the kid make their own decisions, everything would be just fine. Ammi right?

Do you even have anything more than this:

Following an incident when the mother threatened to knock her teeth out, the girl took refuge in our home.

In my small town, that could have myriad meanings. Some quite serious, some a bit more "the bark is worse than the bite" sort of comment. Unless you know the family dynamics, you have no idea if the mother was serious or just seriously pissed off at daughter talking back to her and maybe even threatening mom.

You say CPS has investigated the matter. I would have to suspect they did not find anything worthy of immediate action lest the child would have been taken out of the home. \

I suspect you might just be being used.

 

[British Chris]

Chris, you have to understand something.

This is NOT your legal matter. You cannot talk with, or discuss, anything at all with this young lady's attorney.

Prosperina, you have to understand something: I haven't, since engaging him.

 

[LdiJ]

I, as the mother of two daughters, would not allow my CHILD to be a "nanny". I MAY allow my CHILD to be a babysitter or child care giver (depending on the situation). What YOU have posted is just...WRONG and GROSS.

Perhaps you can find some TWIA to be free "nanny" for your child. I will say a prayer for your child.

Blue, do you define "nanny" differently than I do? I define nanny as someone who comes to your home and provides full or semi-full time daycare for only your child. Some nannies live in but not all do. The OP did indicate that the girl was being paid to care for the children.

Don't get me wrong, I think that the OP has been handling this wrong and is way in over his/her head/overstepping, but I am confused as to your appearing to feel that there is something negative about being defined as a nanny.

 

[British Chris]

I, as the mother of two daughters, would not allow my CHILD to be a "nanny". I MAY allow my CHILD to be a babysitter or child care giver (depending on the situation). What YOU have posted is just...WRONG and GROSS.

Perhaps you can find some TWIA to be free "nanny" for your child. I will say a prayer for your child.

OK my wife just explained this. "Babysitter" or "child care giver" are more accurate descriptions of what the girl did: helped my wife keep the kids amused while I was at work, helped my wife feed the kids etc. Apparently "nanny" often is a euphemism as someone said earlier. My mistake in not knowing the terminology. Where I come from, a nanny looks after children.

We just Googled TWIA. Nice, coming from a Christian.

 

[Just Blue]

Blue, do you define "nanny" differently than I do? I define nanny as someone who comes to your home and provides full or semi-full time daycare for only your child. Some nannies live in but not all do. The OP did indicate that the girl was being paid to care for the children.

Don't get me wrong, I think that the OP has been handling this wrong and is way in over his/her head/overstepping, but I am confused as to your appearing to feel that there is something negative about being defined as a nanny.

I define a nanny as a legal adult. I define a 16 year old that cares for a child, on her parental allowed time, as a babysitter.

 

[Proserpina]

I define a nanny as a legal adult. I define a 16 year old that cares for a child, on her parental allowed time, as a babysitter.

I have to agree.

It's a job description. And yes, it has certain connotations that generally don't include a child doing the work of an adult.

I mean it really doesn't matter when it comes down to the meat of this thread, which is that the OP is interfering in a matter which is simply none of his business, but yeah - that definition would be what I'm used to here AND living in the UK.

 

[British Chris]

I define a nanny as a legal adult. I define a 16 year old that cares for a child, on her parental allowed time, as a babysitter.

Then we're all agreed that the girl was our babysitter.

 

[justalayman]

Then we're all agreed that the girl was our babysitter.

ok then. Due to that, she might as well give up on he emancipation (even if the age is 16 instead of 17). A babysitter is not going to be considered to be self supporting. She needs to have a real job for the courts to seriously consider emancipation.

 

[LdiJ]

I have to agree.

It's a job description. And yes, it has certain connotations that generally don't include a child doing the work of an adult.

I mean it really doesn't matter when it comes down to the meat of this thread, which is that the OP is interfering in a matter which is simply none of his business, but yeah - that definition would be what I'm used to here AND living in the UK.

I only inquired because I didn't understand why that was an issue with Blue...it almost seemed as if she had a negative definition of "nanny". I agree that its irrelevant to the meat of this thread, but it confused me.

 

[British Chris]

I may be from a small town but I still know how manipulative a 16 yo kid can be. Every 16 yo kid hates their parents because they think they are grown up yet mom and dad insist on rules. Dang rules. Why do they have to make rules? If the parents would just let the kid make their own decisions, everything would be just fine. Ammi right?

Not really. The woman belongs to a church whose pastor is very controlling. It's one of these "long skirt churches." The three daughters are made to attend the church and humiliate themselves, having to declare themselves worthless, beg forgiveness, and repent. The girl in question can never repent enough to satisfy her mother. The pastor tells his flock: "spare the rod; spoil the child" and this woman obeys zealously. She whips her children whether they have done wrong or not.

 

[justalayman]

Not really. The woman belongs to a church whose pastor is very controlling. It's one of these "long skirt churches." The three daughters are made to attend the church and humiliate themselves, having to declare themselves worthless, beg forgiveness, and repent. The girl in question can never repent enough to satisfy her mother. The pastor tells his flock: "spare the rod; spoil the child" and this woman obeys zealously. She whips her children whether they have done wrong or not.

and you have proof of this? Have you seen the whip marks on her buttocks?

Of course, as I said, if the girl is abused, the police are a phone call away.

 

[Proserpina]

Not really. The woman belongs to a church whose pastor is very controlling. It's one of these "long skirt churches." The three daughters are made to attend the church and humiliate themselves, having to declare themselves worthless, beg forgiveness, and repent. The girl in question can never repent enough to satisfy her mother. The pastor tells his flock: "spare the rod; spoil the child" and this woman obeys zealously. She whips her children whether they have done wrong or not.

How often do you attend this church, Chris?

 

[British Chris]

and you have proof of this? Have you seen the whip marks on her buttocks?

My wife, mother-in-law and I witnessed the woman talk about it being "God's will" during the same frenzied rant when she threatened to knock the girl's teeth out. She lays them across a bed naked and whips them.

 

[justalayman]

My wife, mother-in-law and I witnessed the woman talk about it being "God's will" during the same frenzied rant when she threatened to knock the girl's teeth out. She lays them across a bed naked and whips them.

have you seen the marks upon her buttocks or are all you are privy to is the claim it has happened?