Well you chose the user name Mommydearest.
I have seen what happens to children when their parents are in such a hurry that they start committing adultery without giving any consideration to children who are having their lives disrupted. He didn't have to wait until she signed a paper. HE could have filed a contested divorce 2 years ago if it was a priority. He chose not to do so and instead continue committing adultery.
He needs to own up to HIS responsibility in this situation. She never had to sign a paper at all. He could have done this many other ways.
These children have been given complete consideration from day one. They lived the last year and a half before the split with their mother locked in an unfinished attic, refusing to associate with them in any way. She didn't speak to them, feed them, or provide any motherly guidance or affection. When she DID emerge, all they witnessed were violent outbreaks, emotional abuse and suicide threats. They had to creep around on eggshells to avoid triggering her. They lived in fear and embarrassment where she was concerned. They were relieved the day she moved out and they could relax for once. This situation IS in their best interest.
I treat them with complete love, respect and understanding at all times and they know I am there for them no matter what.
And you're right, he could have pursued the divorce with an attorney. Instead, he was working full time, paying a mortgage, bills, and raising three children on his own while the mother has been freed of all responsibility. You can see how he didn't have thousands of dollars freed up for a lawyer. And now WE are raising 5 children with no support from the other parents and everyone is happy. The boys have learned how a family can function with love and without violence and mental illness. The children ARE the priority. It isn't cheap to raise 5 teenagers these days. He has been trying to play nice so that she will sign ONE piece of paper. Otherwise the divorce would have been finalized AGES ago as that is all they are waiting for.
He HAS owned up to every responsibility. He has supported his family alone and lived in an emotionally unstable home for years but tried to stay for his kids. When it became clear that they were only growing more UNHAPPY, he ended the relationship. He has done everything to get her to agree, including cashing $15000 out of his retirement and handing it over to her, and paying for her to move into an apartment. And then she decides not to sign. SHE IS IN THE WRONG.
Which is what brought me to this site, to do legal research...as the name would indicate. I asked a question hoping that someone with legal experience would have some answers. I did not come here for your half cooked judgement, or to be belittled because he is still married. We both realize this and are trying to make it legal, OBVIOUSLY. We are doing the right thing for our children and each other. Your opinion doesn't really matter, and it's not your business, but maybe this illustrates WHY you should never form an uneducated judgement on someone. You SHOULD already know this, being in the legal field and all. But that's what you do on this site. You try to judge everyone for every question they ask. It is not right and you are not a nice person. If you really are an attorney, I hope you don't treat your clients in this manner. I hope that when you need guidance, there is someone that will not try to pre-judge you or look down on you for it.
AGAIN... THANK YOU for any relevant information any of you provided. I greatly appreciate it.
I'm not going to argue with you, so there is no need to come back with some holier than thou response. I have nothing further to add.
Have a great day.
