friend umarried with 3 kids

[wichitafalls1]

What is the name of your state? tx

i have a friend that is unmarried with 3 kids, she is sweet, but stupid. she has lived with the kids dad for 3 -4 years, and he is listed as the dad on birth cert. he is gone 7 days a week he only comes home to take showers on occasions, he is mean to her and tells her to leave, everyone knows he cheats on her, and i know she knows too, but will not face it until she catches him which would be hard because she has no car and is stuck in the projects 24/7 with the kids.

my question for her is can she just go to at. general office and get him for child support with out going to court, if she ever get smart and leaves? they are not married.

is child visitation automatic or will he have to go to court to set that up? she is scared she will have to let the kids go with him and he might harm them if she leaves and asked for child support.

 

[penelope10]

What is the name of your state? tx

i have a friend that is unmarried with 3 kids, she is sweet, but stupid. she has lived with the kids dad for 3 -4 years, and he is listed as the dad on birth cert. he is gone 7 days a week he only comes home to take showers on occasions, he is mean to her and tells her to leave, everyone knows he cheats on her, and i know she knows too, but will not face it until she catches him which would be hard because she has no car and is stuck in the projects 24/7 with the kids.

my question for her is can she just go to at. general office and get him for child support with out going to court, if she ever get smart and leaves? they are not married.

is child visitation automatic or will he have to go to court to set that up? she is scared she will have to let the kids go with him and he might harm them if she leaves and asked for child support.

I'm going to give you some non legal advice. And it's not meant to be cruel. But your friend is not ready to end it with this guy yet. When she is ready, she should come onto the forum and ask questions.

I understand that you want to help your friend. But IMO she is not ready to be helped yet. And if her boyfriend finds out about you trying to help her, he's going to push that she end the friendship . And if she's not a very strong person (which it sounds like )she may end up limiting her time with you, or stop being friends altogether. What she's probably doing is just venting with a friend right now and has no intentions of making any changes.

Best to step aside with the help until she ready to give up on the relationship.

If there is real abuse going on (per say verbal or physical) she can contact the county she lives in to find out about services available--- counseling, legal aid, etc. There is a wealth of these services out there. It takes a little leg work to find out about these. However, she should be the one doing the leg work.

 

[wichitafalls1]

no i agree with you completely. she has to be the one to do this, she just asked how the child support work, because she has no access to the computer.

he knows we talk but we only see each other once in a blue moon. from my personal post you know my story, well this girl lives with my stbx's cousin. she is just young and he is a jerk, i think its genetic(sorry mispelled). i know she is just needing someone to talk too and i don't give her advice, i just listen. my 11year over heard on the phone once and told me she needs to leave him and go on with her life, but i have to wait for my friend to grow up that much and go, it took me forever too, so i just listen.

thank you.

 

[wichitafalls1]

update: she left and is staying with her parents, she just needed to vent to someone, until the anger subsided and she could think about what she wanted and what was best for her kids. thank you.

 

[Zephyr]

so tomorrow she should go down to csea and open a case for child support

 

[wichitafalls1]

yes, she is. she left on wednesday, so i believe she was going today.